(Closed) Has wedding planning made anyone else feel like they have no friends?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think I kind of get what you mean. In my situation, it’s like even my bridesmaids are nowhere to be found. I haven’t been demanding, it doesn’t even have to be wedding conversation all the time, I just want to spend time with them, but they never make plans. 

 

Wedding planning is miserable!

Post # 4
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think that is what weddings were made for 🙂  It is hard in that post-college stage!

Post # 5
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel ya! Our wedding guests are mostly family and family friends we definitely have a select few good college friends that we are still close with, but specifically I feel this way with girl friends of mine, but oh well I know who will be there are people who have been there and will continue to be there! 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I know the feeling all of my friends are out of state and I still have yet to make any real friends where I live now, I feel so alone in this whole wedding planning thing, I really wish I had someone to share the experience with

Post # 7
Member
4433 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance always told me “Dee you’re too nice, you buy so many nice presents for baby showers and their kids birthday parties..but watch when it’s your turn”….

He’s right!  It feels like no one is around when it’s finally my turn!!!

Post # 8
Member
2032 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m having mixed experience with this.  It’s as though all my friends are showing their true colors.  In some cases, like my BFF, I’ve reaffirmed why he’s been my best friend all these years because he’s helpful and supportive like a best friend should be.  And others have also listened to be vent, or have been way more excited for us than I would have imagined.  And then other friends that I thought I was close with, haven’t even sent a text saying they received their invite, or really acknowledged our upcoming wedding in any way.  SO I’m thankful for the friends I still have, and extremely dissapointed in the rest.  

Post # 9
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@BellaDee:  I completely get how you feel. I have always bought gifts upon gifts for my friends weddings or baby showers, kids bday’s, christmas’, baptisms, if they breath correctly that day and I have always wondered if when it’s my turn will I be left in the dark, lol. I gues I’ll see.

Post # 10
Member
8473 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Absolutely.  With the exception of my bridal party, I invited only 2 friends.  One will be in Europe all summer, so she obviously can’t make it.  I didn’t consider the girls I met in grad school close enough to invite.  I wanted to make sure my wedding was small and intimate. 

Post # 11
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My MOH lives in another state and my other bridesmaids are my 2 girls. I have only just moved to where i live now recently so i haven’t made many new friends. My time is mostly soent at home with my 20 moth old daughter, keeping her happy, entertaining her and of course teaching her new things.

I wish my MOH could come and vist before the big day so we can go off and do girly things and cake test etc, she really wants to but finances are the barrier unfortunately.

I’m doing a lot of DIY so all my free time (which isn’t much) is taken up doing that when my girl is sleeping (all of maybe an hour if i am lucky)

I have a lot of friends all which live on the other side of town, some which i havent heard from in ages. 

Oh well i guess thats just how the cookie crumbles

Post # 12
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes. I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself but I have my FI whose my very best friend and I’m ok with that. I never realized how little friends I had left until I started doing invitations. I also didn’t realize how many people I thought were my friends but didn’t want to come to the wedding because we don’t have free liquor. Oh well. Like I said at least I have my FI.

Post # 13
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MerryWidow: I absolutely agree with you in that weddings bring out the best and worst in people. Some friends and family members totally surprised me, and I’ve defintely cut some ties due to wedding-related backlash.

Now that all is said and done, I think I got very lucky in the scheme of things. While the wedding was stressful in so many ways, I’ve realized that I am really, truly blessed with the most amazing friends and family members (and in-laws!). Like… I can’t think of one thing to complain about. My bridesmaids had my back 110% and went above and beyond the call of duty. My in-laws were loving and supportive every step of the way. So many guests traveled across the country just to join us for one day. And EVERYONE was so genuinely happy for us, and so sincere, thoughtful, and generous.

I just wish the same for every other bride. It’s so easy to get caught up and sweat the little things when it comes to your wedding day. But be happy, ladies! You’re going to marry the love of your life. That’s what (and who!) matters!

Post # 14
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Man, I thought I was the only one so I’ve never talked about it since I got married.  I’m still hurt in a way about the many family members I expected to come (afterall, I bought presents and even flew to different states for their weddings) but didn’t come.  In the end, though, it wasn’t about them and those who really mattered supported us.

Post # 15
Member
2032 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I feel like it’s worse for me this time, like I don’t deserve another wedding or anything. Or like those that are already married are just ‘over it’ and can’t be bothered. It’s not like I chose this, I never wanted another wedding but my first husband died when I was 27, what was I supposed to do?? It’s just all very sad. However, I honestly don’t care most of the time. People make their own choices and I know I’ve always been the best friend I can, so if they can’t be happy for me or take my marriage seriously I know where I stand in their life. Our wedding will still be happy and special, and at the end of it I will have a husband and the good friends.I have now. I’d rather find out over a wedding than later when we have children.

Post # 16
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MerryWidow: Aw. I really, really hope none of your friends think you are undeserving of another wedding (especially in light of what you’ve already been through); if they actually believe that, they aren’t the type to consider friends. But it sounds like you’re staying grounded and totally in check with what/who is really important here (you and your FI!), so cling to that. <3 I’ve found that once the wedding day rolls around – and yours is certainly near! – the excitement and happiness becomes infectious, and that the better people tend to come out of the woodwork. =]

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