Has your guy ever reacted really oddly to something?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

I think you are over reacting.  It sounds like he has never been like this before.  Everyone’s allowed to have a bad day every now and then.  I think you are reading way to much into this.  He sounds nothing like your father was.


Have you tried counseling for you?


I think it’s really hard to judge how either of you will do when you have kids.  Yes, they cry and whine and are needy.   And it’s easy to get irritated with them at times.  But, it doesn’t sound like he will typically react the way he did last night.

Post # 4
284 posts
Helper bee

Everyone has bad days, and everyone can be a little moody. Sounds like he was annoyed in the heat of the moment and calmed down during the walk. I wouldn’t worry about it. He definitely does not sound bipolar or that he would be a bad father.

Post # 6
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think you’re overreacting. If you said he kicked the dog or something then you’d have a legit reason to be worried, but I think most people lose their temper every now and then.

My husband is the mellow type as well, and tends to keep things bottled up… he sometimes snaps at the dumbest shit. I think it’s odd since I am the total opposite… when I am feeling sad/mad/angry I let it all out and annoy him that way lol.

Post # 7
8847 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yeah, everyone deserves a chance to be irrationally frustrated once in a while.  I can understand though, my guy is super sweet and never really gets pissy at me – so every once in a while, when he does so seemingly out of the blue, I totally overreact too. 

I think the fact that this is a rare occurence, and that he apologized afterwards, are really good signs for how he’d behave as a father.

Post # 9
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MUAbride2be:  You know what this reminds me of?  When I’ve had a really shitty time, when everything seems to be crap, and I’m strong for so long, after sick family members, stress upon stress and a bad year at work, after dealing with so much…I don’t break down, I am strong, I deal with it all and keep it together…

Until I stub a toe, or break a nail or my hair just won’t sit right, and then I break down like a 2 year old and cry over said toe, or nail or that damn strand of hair that just won’t lay straight.

Sometimes, the stupidest shit is what gets you, even if you’re good and calm about the big stuff.

Post # 10
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@MUAbride2be:  Cut him some slack, maybe he had a bad day? I’m a very mellow, easy going person myself and we have a new puppy that we are currently house-training. I flipped out yesterday at 6am when I saw his crate had both #1 & #2 in it for me to clean up. Once I threw my little hissy fit I was better. Sometimes even the most mellow people need to vent 🙂

Post # 11
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would also cut him a little slack here. Sometimes, and particularly at the end of the day, little things can just get a little too annoying and although I’m sure he loves the dog, perhaps last night he just thought “For God’s sake, Juno. Can’t a guy eat his dinner in peace?”. Which is not unreasonable except that last night he expressed this view out loud! I don’t think you’ve seen any evidence of an abusive or irrational personality though. 

Over the many years that DH and I have been together he’d acted out of character twice. In both cases he was tired and not really thinking straight. He was not losing his temper, I hasten to add, but just said the oddest and most unexpected things!

Post # 12
5968 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@MUAbride2be:  I think you are overreacting for sure. I think every now and then we all have moments where dumb stuff will just throw us off more than we would like. I think it’s unrealistic to expect him to always have a handle on things. I have been guilty of having my moments when my dog is being obnoxious or my child has used up his quota of  saying the word “mom” for the day lol. it happens.

I think maybe counseling might be something to consider since it’s very obvious your childhood is still affecting you as an adult and how you interact and percieve those around you.

Post # 13
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MUAbride2be:  Let me shed some perspective on a similiar situation my FI and I had last week, where I lost my cool (due to a very high stress week) during a few random situations – with strangers, whom were being rude to me!!

It was completely out of character for me, from the ‘kind, gentle, optimistic’ demeaner I usually carry 95% of the time.

It BOTHERED my FI, and his reaction to it was that of ‘disappointment’.  I was really pissed at him, actually, for reacting at all.  I reminded him that we are all human, and therefore imperfect.  Usually, if someone is rude to me, I grin and bear it, because the higher road is always better.  But you know what?!  In the event that I am rude back, because I was heightened in general is no reason to fear my character, or judge it.

I know you carry fear fom a hostile childhood, but I am guessing that will not be the last time your guy loses his cool over something so silly.  Nor does it mean that he will be your father, get angry every time your future children need something NOW, or will be impatient for ever.  Give him a break, please…:)

Post # 14
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think he maybe jusy had a bad day at work. I don’t think you need to be worried at all. remember he is the nicest sweetest man that youve know for 4 years and this is the first time hes gotten upset. If he wouldn’t have cooled down on the walk and came back in yelling I would say ok maybe a reason to worry but he didn’t. cut the guy some slack. remember hes not your dad.

Post # 16
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MUAbride2be:  You’re welcome.  For the record I had one of those moments today.  Shittiest day at work EVER, I make it to about 3pm surviving when my husband sends me this –


I chose this time to laugh until I cried, and then cry.  Because really…wet soil all over a silver/beige couch is so fantastic.

Can you spot the culprit?

Sidenote – ignore the plywood, we’re getting new flooring lol


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