(Closed) has your husband cheated?if so how did you hadle it?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

When my older sister went through this, i saw her struggle. At first, she felt like she wasnt good enough, and that he cheated for that reason. She needs to surround herself with positivity and good friends. Also, Church and a stronger relationship to God made her realize she was strong enough to forgive him. Being around close family also helped her. She needs to take some time away to think about if she wants to fix the relationship or not. This is the hardest part! That trust is broken and the man she was with needs to cut off all ties with the other woman, and somehow work to rebuild trust. God bless her! 

Post # 4
Member
3151 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, that’s why his name is officially called ex husband (who has been begging me back for years).

While I think that it’s possible to rebuild trust, it takes a whole lot of a whole lot and the burden is on him to make all efforts to be transparent.

But for me? I left and have no regrets. The stress and difficulties that came from him making such a bad decision was just not worth it to me. Your mate is supposed to add to your peace of mind (not take it away).

Post # 6
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Butterfly6:  “Your mate is supposed to add to your peace of mind (not take it away).” 

This is SO true! If she knows that she will never be comfortable with him again, she should walk away.

Post # 7
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

My ex-husband was cheating because he just wasn’t into our marriage and didn’t have the balls to end it and ask for a divorce.

However, I think it depends on the situation.

For example, some men cheat. It’s not that they married the wrong girl, they just think of the other woman as “something different” and don’t emotionally feel bad about it. In that case, I’d advise her to leave.

Sometimes, a man does something stupid while drunk or maybe at a party or has a one-night stand.  If it was a one time mistake, and he is truly remorseful, then trust can be rebuilt.

Then there is everything in between . . . long-term affairs, brief flings, workplace affairs, etc.

I’d advise her to take a step back and really look at the circumstanes first.  Then, look at the SO and try to determine if he is remorseful.  Then, to look at herself and evaluate whether or not she is willling to and capable of forgiveness.  At that point, it may be possible to come to a decision, but whatever her decision is she must stick with it and behind it 100%.

 

Post # 9
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@Butterfly6:  So well put. I would have done the same thing. Good for you!

Post # 10
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

I divorced him.  Infidelity/adultery was a show stopper for me and I could not reconcile.

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