Post # 1
Okay here goes:
So I went through a dry spell and was refusing sex left and right. However, now my groove is coming back except for a couple of things. My man is rushing foreplay and he touches me weirdly. He’s all fingertips and poking and prodding. I’ve tried to gently tell him, no this way, like this but I’m still squirming and making faces. The next time we get around to it, it’s like he’s reading braille. Are we so out of practice that he forgot how to touch me?
It’s awkward and he seems to be having fun so we just finish when I’m not even ready. In the end I’m unsatisfied but hey, at least I get to read my book. I’m tired of it now, how many different ways are there to tell him to slow down, more foreplay, stop prodding me you’re not my gyno and I’m not ready yet?
Post # 3
You could try talking to him when you’re not in the heat of the moment. He may not be as able to listen to you when oyu’re in the middle of things.
Post # 4
Just gently explain that women do not usually get as quickly “ready” for sex as men. He should probably know this already, and probably KNOWS but just gets caught up. I would tell him that sex isn’t as enjoyable as it could be (don’t say it’s bad, obviously) but say it’s not what you think it could be if you were more ready.
And I agree with crayfish – not in the middle of things. FI and I have reminders where I’ll just say “slow down” or “not yet” and keep doing other things. He understands that verbal cue. He also understands when I’m physically not into though, so maybe your guy needs to learn your cues. I’m sure you feel like you are showing him you’re uncomfortable but guys don’t always pick up on that. They aren’t mind readers of course. 🙂
Post # 5
I agree with PP that maybe he’s just caught up in the heat of the moment and maybe he is a little out of practise. I know sometimes if my man has been drinking one too many beers he’s a little all over the place, but usually we have a good rhythm for each other that we can get back into.
If all else fails you could always go out and buy one of those games made especially for couples. I have seen a few that are geared toward opening up and learning how to touch and please each other more…plus they are fun! Couldn’t hurt.
Post # 6
I’m going to venture the poor guy may be gun-shy. You mention you were turning him down left and right, and now you’re giving him play by play while he’s trying to perform…he may be poking and prodding because he’s afraid you’re going to tell him he’s doing it wrong. I’d suggest trying to take some of the pressure off. If you drink go out and get tipsy together and then when you’re relaxed and in a good mood, give it another go. Praise him when he does something right, and if he’s doing something wrong, take his hand and direct him without a verbal lesson.
Post # 7
@MissBabeski:Can I just say your “it’s like he’s reading braille” comment made me laugh out loud at work, and its possible they now realise I am not filling out 1099 forms because there is nothing funny about 1099 forms? 😀 also I’m really sorry about that. Maybe you should just use handcuffs hahaha.