Post # 1
I received an invitation today for a destination wedding ($3500 to attend) and in it was this insert (which wasn’t even printed properly pfft):
Your presence at our wedding is present enough
but if we are honoured with a gift from you
may we respectfully request a gift of money
to help the dream of our new family come true
UGH. I was planning to give money anyway and bridal couple (and their guests) should be familiar with the culture (everyone gives money for weddings so WHY bother with the insert?). And hello, destination wedding= expensive to attend!
Sorry, just have to rant:P
Post # 3
I don’t see the problem, that insert is saying, “we don’t need or expect a gift from you, but if you would like to get us one, we wouldrather money than stuff”
Post # 4
to help the dream of our new family come true
sounds like they want money for an adoption fund.
if that is what it is, i would give money.
Post # 5
@redband: it’s fine to say no gift is necessary, but the money instead of physical stuff is kind of rude. You’re not supposed to mention gifts with your invitation, it’s tacky. I would be annoyed.
Post # 6
I see it as: “We do kind off want gifts eventhough it’s a destination wedding” (because I had mine and told everyone specifically “no gifts” so they want to make sure everyone knows that gifts ARE expected this time). I’m the first in the family to have a destination wedding, you see.Anyway, I’ve already asked my mum and she says that I (and husband) WILL have to give $750 cash as a present (despite having to fork out $3500 to attend).
It just sounds funny to me because as I said, in my culture EVERYONE gives money as wedding gifts. No one ever gives crystal glasses or KitchenAIDs so there is no need to tell anyone that they only want money, not other presents.
They are not planning to adopt.
Post # 7
@redband: We are doing a DW and will NOT be doing a gift registry nor do we wish for gifts the day of…..or money. I would never ask for money even it we were accepting gifts, I just find it tacky….. And you are correct money is just as given anyway, so why ask for it??
DW ARE EXPENSIVE!! I cannot believe how my budget is just growing by the day. We have rented a lodge for our DW, for the ENTIRE weekend. And EVERYONE”S lodging will be included in their stay, ON US. All we are asking from our guests is 1) to attend 2) $150 PP to go towards the cost of food for the entire weekend. That is it nothing else. We kept our location fairly central for all invited, so no one will have to fly in from anywhere. No more than 3-4 hours by car from any direction. I wanted our guests to be there more than anything else.
I cannot see asking anyone who is attending a DW to spend more that what is costs to get there…..it most cases like you stated big $$$$ is involved. And IMO in this economy I don’t think that most anyone I know could afford to throw down so much cash.
Post # 8
I so wish that people would realise that a tacky poem is guaranteed to offend. And by that I mean offend people who’d otherwise be quite OK about a cash gift. I’m always so tempted to write a similarly nauseous piece of doggerel in return….
If my presence is present enough
Why send me a poem that was so rough?
I’m not averse to sending some cash
But “dreams of new family”? – that’s nauseous GASH!
Post # 9
We are having a destination wedding too and while we would love gifts of ANY kind, we also know attending our wedding is going to be a pretty penny so we arent expecting SQUAT! I dont want to use the dreaded “T” word but I do think the wording in this invitation is a bit much!
On our invitations we decided to put a link to our wedding website which gives more details on the destination, things to do and festivities going on. It also has our sole registry info which is similar to a honey fund. We dont want people to donate cash but if they choose to purchase a couple’s massage, etc they are more than welcome but again we arent expecting anything.
Post # 10
@Steampunkbride: I far prefer your poem.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@redband: That would annoy me to no end. I think that if they are expecting people to take their precious vacation time to attend at a place they did not necessarily choose and spend that kind of dough that asking for extra is outrageous! I am personally not big on the DWs just because it is asking a lot but to ask for more on top of that is ridiculous. A poem makes it worse because it’s like saying “I know asking straight out would be rude so I am going to attempt tohide my rudeness with something cutesy”. Gah. End rant.
Post # 12
Very rude and impolite IMO.
Post # 13
@redband: $750 cash? What the heck culture are you from????
Post # 14
This is classic! LOL
@Steampunkbride: “If my presence is present enough Why send me a poem that was so rough? I’m not averse to sending some cash But “dreams of new family”? – that’s nauseous GASH!”
Post # 15
@redband: Hahaha, YOU are the reason I am in an on-going spat with my family. They are convinced no one could find that kind of poem rude: it’s expected, otherwise people won’t know we want money, etc etc etc. I am absolutely certain at least some guests will find it rude (I do!) and would rather get registry gifts we select than offend people.
Post # 16
@distracts: mostly Chinese
@Steampunkbride: Love your poem. I am so tempted to send it back but will certainly be shouted back at haha
Honestly, I am really iritated about HAVING to go in the first place. I do not want to spend the $3500 to attend, much less the additional $750 present. It is a lot for us now because I am unemployed. I resent it but am forced to. The stupid poem just adds into my iritation.