Hate Invitations Like The One I Got Today

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t see the problem, that insert is saying, “we don’t need or expect a gift from you, but if you would like to get us one, we wouldrather money than stuff”

Post # 4
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

to help the dream of our new family come true

sounds like they want money for an adoption fund.

 if that is what it is, i would give money.

Post # 5
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@redband:  it’s fine to say no gift is necessary, but the money instead of physical stuff is kind of rude. You’re not supposed to mention gifts with your invitation, it’s tacky. I would be annoyed. 

Post # 7
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@redband:  We are doing a DW and will NOT be doing a gift registry nor do we wish for gifts the day of…..or money.  I would never ask for money even it we were accepting gifts, I just find it tacky…..  And you are correct money is just as given anyway, so why ask for it??


DW ARE EXPENSIVE!!  I cannot believe how my budget is just growing by the day.  We have rented a lodge for our DW, for the ENTIRE weekend.  And EVERYONE”S lodging will be included in their stay, ON US.  All we are asking from our guests is 1) to attend 2) $150 PP to go towards the cost of food for the entire weekend.  That is it nothing else.  We kept our location fairly central for all invited, so no one will have to fly in from anywhere.  No more than 3-4 hours by car from any direction.  I wanted our guests to be there more than anything else.


I cannot see asking anyone who is attending a DW to spend more that what is costs to get there…..it most cases like you stated big $$$$ is involved.  And IMO in this economy I don’t think that most anyone I know could afford to throw down so much cash.




Post # 8
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I so wish that people would realise that a tacky poem is guaranteed to offend. And by that I mean offend people who’d otherwise be quite OK about a cash gift. I’m always so tempted to write a similarly nauseous piece of doggerel in return….

If my presence is present enough
Why send me a poem that was so rough?
I’m not averse to sending some cash
But “dreams of new family”? – that’s nauseous GASH! 

Post # 9
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We are having a destination wedding too and while we would love gifts of ANY kind, we also know attending our wedding is going to be a pretty penny so we arent expecting SQUAT! I dont want to use the dreaded “T” word but I do think the wording in this invitation is a bit much!

On our invitations we decided to put a link to our wedding website which gives more details on the destination, things to do and festivities going on. It also has our sole registry info which is similar to a honey fund. We dont want people to donate cash but if they choose to purchase a couple’s massage, etc they are more than welcome but again we arent expecting anything. 

Post # 11
1672 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@redband:  That would annoy me to no end. I think that if they are expecting people to take their precious vacation time to attend at a place they did not necessarily choose and spend that kind of dough that asking for extra is outrageous! I am personally not big on the DWs just because it is asking a lot but to ask for more on top of that is ridiculous. A poem makes it worse because it’s like saying “I know asking straight out would be rude so I am going to attempt tohide my rudeness with something cutesy”. Gah. End rant.


Post # 12
7730 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Very rude and impolite IMO.

Post # 13
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@redband:  $750 cash? What the heck culture are you from????

Post # 14
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This is classic! LOL

@Steampunkbride:  “If my presence is present enough Why send me a poem that was so  rough? I’m not averse to sending some cash But “dreams of new family”? –  that’s nauseous GASH!”


Post # 15
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@redband:  Hahaha, YOU are the reason I am in an on-going spat with my family.  They are convinced no one could find that kind of poem rude: it’s expected, otherwise people won’t know we want money, etc etc etc.  I am absolutely certain at least some guests will find it rude (I do!) and would rather get registry gifts we select than offend people.

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