- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Ok, so first let me say this… I am not a materialistic girl… really I’m not… but this ring is supposed to be the ring I wear for the most of my life… and I HATE… that big H-A-T-E IT!!!! Problem is that when he got it, he was in “A” School (he’s in the Navy) in Chicago, IL… gave it to me in Denver, CO when he came home after he graduated, then went to his assigned duty in Havelock, NC… only to go into a 3 month C School, and then to his permanent duty station… so I never had the option of being able to exchange the ring (apparently he got it in a local shop in Chicago that he couldn’t get to anywhere else), and I know he spent a good deal of money on it… but it really doesn’t look like he did.
He knows it’s not quite my style… and it’s definitely on the small side… so one of the first things he said when he gave it to me was that it was only temporary till he could get me a better one. Well, we got engaged June 28, 2011… and we got MARRIED on June 19, 2012… and still no ring to be proud of. I know rings are expensive… but, he honestly is getting a lot of help… his Mother absolutely loves me and as soon as he purposed to me, she went home and decided to give me and him her engagement ring diamond as a wedding present (one of many). Its a 1.5 carat (I think) marques diamond and its almost perfect quality. Well not to long after that I found the PERFECT setting for the diamond that I absolutely LOVE!!! It has EVERYTHING I want in a ring. Anyway, I showed it to him on numerous occasions (example: when we’d go to the mall with friends, I’d show the girls it when he was close and made sure he saw it too)… heck there was even a time when I almost bought it for myself (and I don’t have a job, just had the money for it at the time because of money I had gotten back from school), but he asked me not to because he wanted it to be his ring. And as much as I hate to bring her up, shortly after we got engaged, I caught his ex-fiance (who had cheated on him in boot camp and broken up with him… this voiding the “engagement contract” if you know what I mean) trying to sell his ring to her on ebay… he had told me that he wanted the ring back… so I confronted her, because technically she was breaking the law at that point. She got very upset at me (I wasn’t happy either, but I never called her any names or said any bad words or anything disrespectful… I was just forceful and to the point) and told him that it’s none of my business blah blah blah… well he (being the guy he is, doesn’t like confrontation), apologized to her about me (not one of our finer moments) and eventually called mission “get the ring back” off… to everyone but me. He later explained that he didn’t want to spend money from that ring on me… but heck use that money to buy something else, and then use the money you were going to use on that on the ring… am I right? I mean now she has a $1500 ring (at least) either laying around, or most like sold it by now and used it on something for her… while I’m still stuck here with a ring I’m too embarrassed to wear in public.
Yes, that’s right… I can no longer wear my ring in public. I wore it for almost the entire year we were engaged because he was so far away and it kept him close… but now I seriously can’t. I’m not married to him, living on a military base, going to military spouse social events, and I’m too embarrassed to let any of them see it. Unfortunately, this also means that I can’t wear any of my rings… not even my grandmother’s ring that I’ve worn religiously since I was 17… because then he thinks its a “I don’t love you” thing vs a “I don’t like the ring” thing. So as you can see… I’m in a bit of a predicament.
Now as to what’s wrong with the ring… first off, I’m not a girly-girl… I hardly ever wear make-up, I don’t really ever wear skirts or dresses… I’m more of a jeans and a wife-beater kind of tomboy… so I wasn’t upset that he didn’t know my ring preference. That being said… I’m also a “go big or go home” kinda girl… now I don’t need a 5 carat ring or nothing… but I do like there to be some unique features to the ring and yes I’d like to have some extra bling… and I’ve always believed that the wedding/engagement ring should be a diamond (at least in most cases). So knowing that, I’m sure you can imagine my shock when he opened the box to reveal a solitaire MAYBE .25 carat garnet ring. Honestly, when my Mother and Sister saw it, they said that it looks like something you get out of the 25 cent vending machines at the grocery store… and as much as it hurt to hear them say that… they’re right… it does.
So what are my choices here? Become one of those girls that never wear their wedding ring… or is there a way I can get a ring I’m actually ok with? What should I do? Please help.