Weddingbee boards

Hey guys, I have serious dress problems and I need some help!!

Here's my saga. I went dress shopping three times. The 1st time I found nothing I liked, except a flattering silhouette on one dress (seam at the waist once I removed an ugly belt, and a full A-line skirt). The 2nd time I went dress shopping it was after I had done some research and fell in love with the White by Vera Wang for David's Bridal Style VW351065 (Ball Gown with Corded Lace Bodice). Before I even had time to decide if I liked it my mom decided she hated it for a variety of reasons, including the tulle skirt and the way it looked on my size and shape (I'm 5'0" and a street size 10, occasionally 8). 

The 3rd time I went dress shopping I was with a friend. She found a column style dress that had lace up to the neck, and I decided to look at it because religiously, I need a dress with sleeves below the elbow and my chest covered (preferably up until my collarbone). Adding sleeves to a dress that already has a high neckline is so much easier than adding sleeves and a whole new top to a strapless dress, so that was appealing to me. This dress was Casablanca 2004. I couldn't get the dress on because it was a tiny sample size, but I loved the way the lace looked against my neck. I decided to order it with a full A-line skirt on it and with lined sleeves. I saw a sketch before it was ordered and it really looked like my ideal silhouette (it was nipped in at the waist and appeared to have a beautiful full skirt). In my mind, a full A-line would look flattering on my short stature, as it would have a ball gown-like appearance on someone shorter. I really thought I was ordering the most flattering dress for someone my shape and size! 

Well, when the dress came in, let's just say, I hated it. I went home and cried for 2 hours, crying about why I didn't get the Vera Wang Style VW351065. After composing myself, I went back with friends to try and make some changes. Among the things I despised were the non-full skirt, unflattering neckline that was not only lower than needed, but unflattering to my large chest, the ugly sleeves that were not long enough (I had wanted them to be past my wrist so the scalloped lace would sit on top of my hand) and the silhouette that was not anything near Style VW351065 or what I thought I was getting - basically, I felt like I'd made a horrendous mistake.

Changes that have been made so far is adding a much more poofy crinoline, which really gave me a fuller skirt and bell shape. I'm happier with the bottom. I cut the sleeves and fitted them to just below the eblow, so I'm showing a little more skin, which really helps the look of the dress A LOT. However, the neckline is still unflattering and low and my boobs still look like one giant uni-boob. On the one hand, I'm in the process of acquiring a super support/minimizer that will give my bust a much smoother and seamless line. On the other hand, the bust is just ugly and doing everything wrong you can do to a larger bust (there is a lot of beading on it). What the store is cutting off from the sleeves they are saving to try and blend in to the bustline. And even more, my friends are really trying to convince me to add a sash. I was really against adding a sash since I didn't want anything to cut my waist (since I'm short-waisted, surprise suprise). The only sash the store really had was made of thicker material, so anything I would consider would be a lot lighter material, perhaps just some thin, simple rhinestones. I really don't want it to look "added" and I'm not even sure what I want to do about a sash yet. 

To let you know, I have decided on a mantilla style chapel length veil that has lace on the top that peters out into a simple tulle veil on the bottom. I know that hair/makeup/veil all combine to create a totally complete wedding look on the day of, but I can't help but have these nagging, painful doubts every time I'm home and thinking about my dress. I want to photograph slim and I see a cow every time I picture myself in this dress!

Truthfully, I need some helpful ideas or tips and a bridal cyber hug! I'm posting pictures! (Any sash seen in the picture was just held there to try and is not the type/fabric I would ever consider.) Among what is shown in the pictures is a side view with the "fake" sash and a close up of the bust. 

@2ndtime:Here is a picture before any alterations were made. The skirt is also not as full and "bell shaped" as it now looks. Personally, I had deleted this picture because every time I looked at it I felt I looked HEAVY and this picture was making me cry. But I tracked it down and here it is in all its glory.