Aww, I'm so sorry. I have a dress like that - and my advice is honestly, buy it bigger so it's looser in the hips and have the top taken in (if necessary). On my dress like that, it pulls across my hips (I carry my weight in my hips and thighs).
I think it's pretty! The rouching might be flattering. Wait to reserve judgement until you try it on :D
I'm sorry. This is one of the hardest things about being a BM. Being forced to buy an expensive dress that you'll likely never wear again. It's nice that you're so supportive of your SIL, though.
@abbie017: Ya, that's probably exactly what I'll do. My top half is a LOT smaller than my bottom (i'm a medium on top) so I'll need to find a great seamstress.
@MissFireFlower: I know, I almost didn't post because I know I should try it on first before complaining. It is pretty, it just won't be flattering on my body type.
@MissHobbit: Ya, I'm trying. Since I am still riding that wedding high it's been nice giving her advice and answering all her questions about wedding planning. I just wish she had asked everyone's opinion on the dress, ya know? I want to enjoy her wedding and have fun celebrating/dancing...not worry about my huge butt all night!
@Bostongrl25: It sounds like your shape is really similar to mine. The dress will work. just make sure when you try it on you like how it looks and that it's not pulling. It's SO much easier to take in a dress, so buying bigger is probably smart.
Sorrry!! It's cute but it's hard finding dresses that compliment every ones different body type!! Have you talked to her about maybe different styles in the same color/fabric? If not, at least it's only for a night! Buy it bigger and have it taken in where it needs to be. Good luck!
@jennabug: I did but she wants all the bridesmaids in the same dress. I guess I am spoiled because every wedding Ive been in the bride gives us guidlines but we get to pick our own dress.
@Bostongrl25: That's too bad, but at least your boobs won't be hanging out. That would be my fear with any bridesmaid dress.
@throughthebarricades: haha that is true. That is one area where I am seriously lacking.
@Bostongrl25: You might be surprised. Im sorry you don't like the dress. But try and wait til you actually get the drss and have it on to fully dislike it. Sometimes things dont seem like they will work and then they do! :) I agree though that it would be wise to go one size up and then have it tailored to your body. Anything looks better once its tailored! good luck!
@Bostongrl25: hayyy idk that side ruching might be very flattering!
I actually really like that dress and I carry a lot in the hips department! lol
I love the hemline and I think its veryyyy classy.
I agree with a PP that said order a size up and then get the top altered if needed. At least in that scenario you'll have a little extra room to move around in.
Please update us when you finally try it on 
The rouching will definitely help, it's the fabric that will show... things. (Size 22 here!)
I agree with @abbie017: Buy it bigger and have it taken in!
Has she already ordered the dresses? If not I would tell her your concerns. If I were the bride I would want to know if the BMs felt uncomfortable. It'd be one thing if you just thought it was ugly, but it sounds like you will feel self-concious about your body. I would tell her if I were you. If she has already ordered them, Spanx can work wonders so don't fret too much about it until you have it. I agree with ordering a size up, then you can have the top taken in while having it more loose around your hips.
@Bostongrl25 I totally hear where you are coming from as a bigger bride myself I knew that just picking a dress for all my girls who are all shaped differently. So I took the most curvacious of my girls shopping first and narrowed it down to what worked best with her body type then brought my other BM's to try them on and chose the one that suited all of them the best and luckily they all liked it. I am so sorry you are being put in a dress you will not feel comfortable in. Just remeber your beauty from within will outshine whatever you are concerned about on the outside...and your husband loves you no matter what!
That cowl neck will add some volume to your bust and the ruching will likely be very flattering. I am a size 16 and I absolutely KNOW that dress would look fabulous on me. The right undergarments will do wonders. I'd get a straight up corset for it and nip in the waist really tight so you have a very well defined hourglass shape.
I think you might be really surprised!
I worry about this same thing when my siblings start getting married. I picked long looser black dresses with corsets to avoid any issues with fit for my girls since they were all really different sizes and my MOH was 7 months pregnant. I know my siblings all like the shorter tighter dressses though =/ so I'll be where you are with this in another year or two. I would talk to her about how you think the dress will look, she may not have even thought about that before.
Thank you ladies!
@padme: No we haven't ordered the dresses yet. I don't want to be "that" bridesmaid that adds stress to her so I didn't say too much when she showed me the picture. I did say I was afraid that it would be tight around my hips, but she brushed it off. The bride is also rather petite so it's hard for her to understand my concerns as a full figure woman.
That's one of the reasons I let my girls pick out their dresses, too. But trying it on could make all of the difference! You're being an awesome SIL :)
Maybe try it on and if it doesn't look great then try it on for your SIL and maybe she will see that the style doesn't suit you and she might come up with a different style dress for you :]
I mean if you don't mind paying for it you could suggest you get a dress made the same colour and material with the same top part but the skirt of the dress could be less fitted and more flared out so its more flattering on the curvier bottom :]
Do you think that could be an option maybe?
@MissLittleChicken: Possibly. I might go by myself to try it on first and see how it looks before I start full out panic. But like I said, I will most likely just suck it up and deal with an unflattering dress for a day. and vent here about it ;)
@Bostongrl25: your the best SIL ever :] I'm sure it will look lovely fingers crossed you love it :]
I think it will look fine. Rouching is very figure flattering. I never believed in the power of rouching until my mom tried on a dress with it across the stomach and she instantly looked like she lost 10lbs.
Theres some dresses with a sorta similar style on this website for plus size women, so you can check it out and see that they look fabulous.
@Bostongrl25: What the other pps are saying is right on. If you try on the dress, and it's tight in the hips, get a bigger size and alter the top. I've been a bridesmaid 5 times now, and the first 4 times dresses were chosen for us (matching) and I didn't like a single one. They were all extremely unflattering on my body type, but I sucked it up and wore them without saying a word.
They were all strapless or low backed (I have big boobs and need major support up top, and all strapless bras either don't give me support or give me the dreaded quad boob), and they were all more flattering to pear-shaped girls. So I always had saggy boobies and looked thick waisted in these dresses.
Finally, the last time I was a bridesmaid and had learned a little more in my wise, old years, when once again my friend chose a strapless, a-line shaped dress that hit right below the knee (A-lines are unimaginably unflattering on my apple shaped body), I bought the dress early without a fuss, and promptly took it to a seamstress when it came in. They tightened the hip area so it was more a fit n flare than an A line on me, and put boning in the strapless top to give me more support---and voila! I loved it. It cost my an extra $60, but it was honestly worth it to me to not feel ugly and fat all day.
I went from a dress shaped like this:
To one shaped like this:
By the way, none of the other bridesmaids or the bride knew I altered the dress or noticed. But I sure noticed in pictures!
I have BM's of all different shapes and sizes. . . I haven't gone BM dress shopping yet (and need to soon!) but I'm dreading it. I'm a people pleaser and I want everyone to like the dress and for it to be flattering on everyone, but I know what a difficult task that is going to be. I'm sorry you're going through this. . . perhaps the dress will look better on than in the picture?
@madteaparty: My advice to you then is to let the girls pick their dress!!!Please! My girls ranged from a size 4 to a size 18, and they all are shaped very differently. I picked the color and length from Davids Bridal and pretty much gave them free reign to pick what they want. For me, it was the easiest part of the wedding process! They all got dresses they liked (and were affordable) and it looked great in pictures.
@BookGirrl: Thanks! Definetly going to be on the hunt for a great seamstress next year
@Bostongrl25: I have thought about doing that. . .but my MOH (my sister) would probably pick something with sequins and feathers if she could. Not even kidding, lol.
Yikes. Sounds like my body type is similar to yours, and I would not be pleased with that choice.
Someone else might have already mentioned this (just skimmed the thread), but maybe try to get the bride to go with you to try it on. If it's as bad as you think it will be, her seeing it for herself might lead her to change her mind. Good luck, girl.
I feel you pain!!
I was a bridemaid in a friends wedding last year and the dress she picked out, I really didnt like. I didnt get to try it on or even see it until after she had bought it.
Sure it suited the other two bridesmaids who were size S, but me a size L it looked terrible and I was soo unconfortable in it all day.
But unfortunately I just had to suck it up and deal with it, as a good bridesmaid does!
But I still rant about it until this day!
Ugh I feel you. Its not so much the shape as the stupid shiny fabric. That silky fabric looks awful on anyone above a size 2. I agree with buying it in a bigger size and getting the top taken in.
I say just suck it up for the bride- it's her day, her vision, just make her happy!! I'm a bridesmaid in 3 of my friends weddings coming up and I hate two of the dresses, but who cares, lol. My girls are all wearing gold glitter dresses, I'm sure a few of them secretly hate the idea, but oh well! Their time will come.. :-) I feel you though, I've hideousness unattractive bridesmaid dress before as well!! I actually don't think the one you're wearing is too horrible!
fyi this thread is 6 months old ;) i wonder if the OP has an update?
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So I haven't been around much lately, because I got married :) yay!
So anyways, my SIL who I love, has asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding next year. I am SO excited and have been doing everything to help her in her planning. She recently sent me a picture of the bridesmaid dress she wants us all to wear. Her sister (size 4) tried it on and decided it would be flattering on all of us. Well, as a size 16 I'm not too sure.
*the picture below is just a random picture I found online*
I carry all my weight in my hips and butt and although I haven't tried it on yet, I know this cut won't be flattering on me. it's taken me many years to figure out how to dress this body, and this dress is going to make me look like a sausage.
I can't do much about it. She's the bride so it's her decision. So I guess this post is just a rant. It's also the reason I let my girls choose their own dresses, so they would all feel comfortable and beautiful.
End rant.