(Closed) Hate this wedding….venting- long

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Uhg…reading your post makes me feel so bad for you! I can’t imagine feeling like that in what should be one of the happiest events in your life.

I’m sorry to say, I’m not familiar with the Islamic religon, but is there ANY chance of possibly eloping at this point???

Post # 5
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Get a regular wedding dress and just put something under/over it to cover your arms and head. Plenty of American Muslims do that for their weddings.. I don’t know why no one suggested it to you? 

The money thing, I understand being bummed about, however the compromise is that you love your husband and want to give him the wedding that he wants. Don’t sit around resenting him for it, that’s no way to start a marriage. You made the choice to take one for the team, so I’d recommend you make the choice to not be negative about it anymore. 

I think that once you have a part of it to be happy about (a beautiful dress, a henna party or some kind of interest from someone on your side) it will be easier not to resent fulfilling his wishes 🙂

Post # 6
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

By the way I know a LOT of muslim women who are absolutely gorgeous and the hijab takes nothing away from that. If anything, it makes them sexier. Maybe that’s how your future husband feels.

Where is your future husband from? Different cultures have different standards for hijab but usually it doesn’t have to be frumpy at ALL. 

Post # 9
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m excited for my wedding and I’m still incredibly frustrated about how much money we are spending. I don’t have any advice – just wanted to offer my support.

Post # 10
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@divadowell:  I don’t understand, was your husband not born Muslim? I don’t really know about the logistics of seating and all that but I’m sure I could find out for you if you’d like. It sounds to me as if it’s more symbolic for him than anything. Typically the men and women seperate during the wedding. Also I think the bride typically is expected to convert, and if you cover yourself during the wedding (more than just the religious part) I would think that you’d cover yourself every day, otherwise it’s kind of just for show. Not that I’m judging you for not doing it, I’m just trying to figure out what his thought pattern is here. My mother is Moroccan and most Moroccan girls that I’ve met are much more liberal and don’t cover their hair except at the mosque. I work with a lot of arabs though and the standards change drastically from region to region.

Post # 11
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@divadowell:  Oh okay just saw this. Well I would just ask him what he is looking to get out of the ceremony. I’m can’t really figure it out. I’ll help you if I can though.

Post # 13
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@divadowell:  I will have to double check on this, but I am thinking that you can buy whatever dress you want, buy a good long scarf that will cover your head and chest and put a fitted long sleeved shirt under the dress, then take all of that extra off at the reception. The guests also will probably need to cover their heads for the religious ceremony and then can change after. You could provide scarfs and kufis as favors lol. I’m sure you can buy them in bulk really cheap.

Check out this stunner of a bride in hijab..

Post # 15
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sablemuse:  wow, i love this look!

 

OP, so sorry you are feeling this way. hope it starts to look up soon. <3

Post # 16
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@divadowell:  Your hair has to be covered. And I like the idea of a long sleeve shirt under the dress and taking it off at the reception.

The topic ‘Hate this wedding….venting- long’ is closed to new replies.

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