Post # 1
My guy and I have fantastic communication about our future, to the point where I know he has a ring and he knows I’ve started purchasing a dress – but we’re not engaged yet. He had a proposal all planned out for a vacation we were going to take in September, but we decided to save some money and not go, so he told me about it.
Now he doesn’t have a good replacement proposal plan and I think he’s floundering, which tells me he wants to make it special, but I’ve gotten to the point where I feel weird trying to plan wedding stuff (we’d like to be married next year in October) without that official engagement ring.
I’m just ready for him to ask already! We know what we want and I wonder every time we go do something fun: “Is this it?”
Anyone else having this issue? I know it’s not the worst thing in the world – it’s kind of fun, but also driving me a little nuts! 🙂
Post # 3
I feel the same way!! Except my ring is on layaway at the jewelers.. so it’s just a financial thing here.. but we have booked the venue, i’ve found a dress, made an appt. with a photographer..and he’s found a DJ, asked his best man.. and told everyone about it.. but he still insists we aren’t officially engaged.. ugh..
personally, i think it’s kind of silly.. i do want a proposal, but honestly, the ring can wait until we can afford to get it out.. and this being the 2nd marriage for both of us.. i think we can get away with being a bit more non-traditional..
so yesterday i told him, i don’t mind if he doesnt’ have the ring yet (he’s getting a sum of money soon but it is probably more wise to spend some of it catching up on some bills, instead of just plopping it all down to have the ring RIGHT NOW!) I just want a proposal and to be able to say we are “engaged.”
He’s being pretty traditional about all this, so i’m not sure what he’ll end up doing.. the anticipation is kind of fun though, in a driving me crazy kind of way!
Post # 4
What is up with that? I mean, I know some guys who are adamant about the proposal and making it special. Well, I ain’t that kind of girl. I’m doing all the background stuff without a ring and I’m getting antsy. Not because I don’t have a ring, I couldn’t care less, more because I wish he’d ask me and I could say ‘I’m engaged, I don’t have a ring.’
Post # 5
I feel you!! My SO just bought the ring, but we want to get married in less than a year (yikes!) and we are starting to look at venues. It seems kind of weird, but like you… we have both communicated to each other what we want for our future.
He could have proposed already, but like your SO he wants the proposal to feel special and that requires some planning on his part. Since I already know about the ring I’m not allowed to know when or how he is going to propose.
It’s so incredibly sweet that he is putting so much effort into it and yet difficult to try and explain to people why you are looking into a venue without a ring. So don’t worry — you’re not the only one!
Post # 6
I think most guys want it to be something of a surprise, and talking about it (or asking, alluding to wedding planning, etc…) only makes it take longer. I say hold off on anything wedding related until he proposes on his own accord, when he feels ready and has a good proposal. It will likely make you both happier, and the proposal will come sooner!
Post # 7
My SO insists the proposal needs to be ‘special’… I’m like, it’s special because you are proposing, not because we are hiking under a waterfall with rose petals across the path… come on! We don’t NEED all the stuff, we just want you! Geeze!
My SO told me that he hasn’t proposed because ‘we haven’t gone anywhere or done anything special recently’… wtf!
Post # 8
I’m glad I’m not the only one here! I know my guy wants to make it a surprise and really special, but @mcnetn3, you’re so right – I don’t need a movie-esque romantic moment, I just want to celebrate us! 🙂
Post # 9
Oh my gosh. I thought I was the only one.
We had been shopping for WEEKS before we finally ordered a ring, now it is designed and almost finished.
SINCE we wanted to elope I bought a dress a while back. However, we decided we want to have a wedding. . . in December (Dunh. Dunh. DUNH!). Therefore we must initiate the planning sequence (yay! I already bought a special binder!!). BUT! I have no ring!! I feel like a pregna-teen who “hasta wait till Billy-Joe saves his lawn mowing money”
To make things worse, his mom is totally in line with me in the “obsessively planning things ninety years in advance” aspect of my “want to therefore MUST” personality, and planned a trip to French Lick Resort to plan (theres that word again 🙂 ) said event.
And yet, no. Ring.
PLEEEASE do not be alarmed. It happens to all of us!
Even those of us who have planned this for years 😉
Post # 10
Oh I completely feel you on this! Except for I haven’t been planning, but I do know he got the ring yesterday!! 🙂 Just waiting for the moment 🙂
Post # 11
I totally know what you mean. We have also put a ring on layaway at a jewelers and are waitin guntil they are having their big sale in October (that’s next month – yeah!). I already told him I don’t expect a proposal right away and he told me he wanted it to be a surprise and special since I know about the ring so he could make me wait “a month or two” before we make it “official”. I don’t need any grand gestures…I just want to start our life together already!
Post # 12
We also have my ring. It was put on lay-away earlier this year and now it’s officially paid for. We want to get married next summer and tho most people already know that we are going to get engaged, we are not engaged yet.
I did come across a gorgeous dress a few months ago, so I did buy it(it was on sale). But I refuse to actually plan until I’m engaged. The dress was just so happen to be because again it was on sale, but I refuse to plan until we are engaged.