Post # 1
First off, I will admit that a portion of this post is pretty petty. But as I have noted below, there’s not much out there from my perspective on this, so I’m not sure how to manage it.
About a week ago, DBF and I were having sex when he suddenly stopped. Apparently, his foreskin, which would never retract when he got an erection, got pushed back, causing an incredible amount of pain on his part. By the next afternoon, he had to go to the hospital and get a surgery done to reduce some of the swelling that was even making it hurt for him to walk.
At first, DBF told me that he wouldn’t be able to have sex again until he got approval from a doctor. But today, the topic came up, and he said that he would need to get circumcised (and heal from the procedure) in order to have sex again. I was a little confused, since even though he did mention that circumcision was a possibility, DBF made it sound more like a probable occurance than a necessity.
Anyway, I tried doing a little bit of research on this topic, and as one might guess, I found very little that wasn’t from the perspective of the man getting circumcised. The few hits I got on women and their male partners getting circumcised weren’t helpful, as they seemed to be the exact opposite of DBF’s situation (the one I found on this site was about a woman who wanted her SO to get circumcised for purely cosmetic reasons.)<br /> <br />My main question deals with how much of a difference there will be once DBF has recovered. Most of my knowledge about circumcision stems from how routine infant circumcision removes all those sensitive nerves in the foreskin…which doesn’t make much sense in DBF’s situation, since his foreskin is causing him pain, not pleasure, AND he’s obviously not an infant, either. On a purely selfish note, I also preferred the way DBF’s penis looks erect to most penises you’d see on an online image search without typing in the word “phimosis.” I know that uncircumcised and circumcised penises almost always appear identical when erect, but part of me worries that this will negatively affect our sex lives.
<br />So I’d really appreciate it if anyone who has been in my shoes could give me some input. Even if you haven’t, and have been with both circumcised and uncircumcised partners, I’m pretty sure you could help, too.
This topic was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Luvdisc.
Post # 2
I think you should read this (and then have him read it if it sounds reasonable to you.) http://www.healthboards.com/boards/mens-health/178155-stretching-fix-tight-foreskin-phimosis.html
(ETA I have been with male partners who were intact and who were circumcised and I have a strong preference for the intact penis.)
Post # 3
I haven’t, but my mom once told me she dated a guy who was uncircumcised for about a year when he made the decision to get circumcised. She said it wasn’t a huge deal and it healed rather quickly but I guess after the healing process was over he ended up dumping my mom. I guess since he felt more “normal” (not to say uncut is abnormal but in the US it’s rather uncommon, especially when my mom was in her 20s) he felt he could do better? Or maybe it made him more confident to go after other women? Idk.
That’s the only story I’ve ever heard personally about adult circumcision from a woman’s perspective.
Post # 4
Post # 5
Luvdisc: It seems you are worried if this will negatively affect your sex life. Although not for medical reasons, I had two friends decide in college that they wanted to get circumcised, both for different personal reasons. One was in a long term relationship, the other not. The one who was in a long term relationship in due to get married to the same girl in a couple of months. Did not impact their sex at all. The other one is kind of a player… and continues to be so.
I don’t think it’ll negatively impact your sex life, or how it feels to you, or to him. As far as you liking the way it looks, it’s not on his face, it’s not like he’s having a nose job. Not to mention, it’s for medical reasons.
Post # 6
Thanks for all the kind input, everyone!
Jijitattoo: Ordinarily, I would take a closer look at those links. But given that DBF’s doctors seem to be siding more with circumcision, I probably won’t show him these. Thanks, though.<br />
a_day_at_the_fair: Thanks for your story! I didn’t add this because I deemed it kind of irrelevant to the issue at hand, but DBF was born in a country where circumcision is quite rare. Oddly enough, when he mentioned his problem to his dad, his dad admitted that he once had the same exact problem with his foreskin. I found that quite surprising!<br /><br />MangoSong: Honestly, I found your reply to be the most helpful, especially the last paragraph. I will keep reminding me that there is a definite medical reason for the procedure; it’s not like he woke up one day and decided to get his foreskin lopped off! Ironically, I think I am more informed about circumcision past infancy than most…I have two older brothers, and neither was circumcised at birth. However, the brother closest to my age was circumcised by his ninth birthday due to problems with his foreskin. Since I was a first grader when it happened, I don’t know the specifics and I barely remember anything about it, but still…
Post # 7
Luvdisc: I definitely think having a medical reason for it changes things. In the case of my moms boyfriend, he was doing it purely for looks. He would tell my mom about the teasing he experienced when he was a kid and in the locker room or whatever people would see his penis, or the reactions from women who had never been with an uncircumsized man and would be unwilling to touch him or whatever. So I guess he saved up the money to have it done and decided to do it just to look like all the other guys out there.
That was her major reason for thinking that his getting circumsized was the reason for their breakup. He was no longer ashamed so he wanted to get out there and get with other women
Post # 8
I think it will be fine. His penis will probably be more sensitive initially after the circumcision. But he needs it medically, so I would just be glad that he is able to get the procedure that is medically indicated.
Post # 9
I have a male friend who had an issue similar to your boyfriend and was circumsized in his early 40’s. He said there was little difference for sex, but he did wish that his parents had done it when he was a baby so he didn’t have to have it done as an adult. But I don’t know if he would feel the same way if he had never encountered any problems.
Post # 10
Luvdisc: I have a male friend who had to get circumcised as an adult, but he hadn’t had sex before he did it, so I don’t know anything about the impact adult circumcision has on a man’s sex life. This friend did tell me that getting circumcised and then having to recover wasn’t fun (obviously) and because his dad also had to get circumcised as an adult, and that, in his opinion, he wished that his parents had just done it when he was a baby and that they should have been aware that this was a possibility due to his dad’s situation.
I will also say that I have an ex boyfriend who had trouble with his foreskin retracting and it was a negative in our sex life and also his personal hygiene. I encouraged him to give stretching a try, but he wasn’t very enthusiastic about it. A few months after suggesting the stretching he told me he had given it a good try, but there wasn’t any progress. I hope he has figured out a way to deal with his foreskin issues because it seemed like an unecessary source of stress for him.
Post # 11
Maybe this could help:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3042320/ These men seemed to have more sensitivity and an easier time reaching orgasm post-circumcision. The study was done with 2,784 participants–that’s not insignificant.
http://www.mgmbill.org/kimpangstudy.pdf In this study, many men reported decreased masturbatory and sexual satisfaction after circumcision.
I haven’t read or looked closely at the methods sections of the studies, so I haven’t evaluated them to see if they’re good or not. But one thing that sticks out is why is the Dept of Physics and Astronomy doing study #2? That seems bizarre.