Post # 1
I am kind of debating now whether to have bridesmaids or not. My FI and I were having dinner lastnight and I asked him who his groomsmen would be. He didn’t want to have groomsmen and was even more adamant about if his brothers had to be them, not making them wear matching ANYTHING and the same goes for my bridesmaids. This has made me wonder if we should even have them? I mean, my FI is Spansh and in Spain you’ve got witnesses, not groomsmen or bridesmaids and they don’t have to dress the same, just look nice. My FI asked why we can’t just use traditions from both cultures. Do I have to have bridesmaids? If I do, do they have to dress the same? What should I do? Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
You most definately don’t HAVE to have bridesmaids, and if you do have them, they don’t need to match. I’m thinking about the same thing. Either I have just my sister, or I have 6, because there is no way to pick and choose fromthose five friends. I have no idea what I want to do, so i’m looking forward to hearing what others will say. If you want to bring the two cultures together, just have a few close friends dress nice stand up for you.
Post # 4
I was in the same boat as suzeq it was either just my maid of honor or 5 bridesmaids – I went with just the one maid of honor and my FI has 2 best men – so we are uneven. In my brother’s wedding, my (now) SIL asked me, her sister and her good friend to ‘stand up’ with her 2 days before the wedding. None of us matched and it didn’t matter at all, it was a beautiful wedding. No one said anything about the fact one of us was in green, one in black and white and the other in a cotton sundress with lobsters on it! If it doesn’t matter to you that everyone matches or there are different numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen or no one standing with you at all, then do what will make you and your FI happy.
I think of it less as a ‘bridesmaid’ or ‘groomsmen’, and more of just asking those closest to you to stand with you and support your marriage.
Post # 5
Good point aloweha. I was thinking of just giving them a little bouquet of flowers or something to make them stand out as they stand up with us.
Post # 6
MY FI and I are having our sons (5 and 16) stand up with us for the ceremony, and not having BM/GM. We are having a small guest list (about 60 people) and it felt like if we had them, 1/3 of our guest list would be standing up with us! Good luck with your decision.
Post # 7
We’re not having a bridal party AT ALL. I can’t choose among my friends! No matter what the "wedding industry" says you don’t HAVE to do anything! Don’t be afraid to say no to something if you don’t like it! 🙂
Post # 8
I am choosing to have no bridesmaids! I just want my sister as my MOH and he will pick a best man. I honestly don’t need the help from bridesmaids, and I want everyone to have so much fun and not worry about "working" on the wedding day.
Fiance and I both want a more intimate wedding, so this just kind of fits! Plus I will still have everyone that I want at my wedding, why make people feel like they’re working? I hate that.
Post # 9
<span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-weight: bold”>caitlin, there is certainly no requirement to have BM’s nor to have anyone look the same. But what I’m not getting is how you feel. This is your wedding as well as his, and if a somewhat more traditional American BP is important to you, then I think you ought to work out a compromise. I’m having everyone wear diffrent dresses of your choosing from the same designer in the same fabric and color. There are several threads where people discuss picking a color family and having their BP choose any dress at all. I don’t think having BM’s wear, say a green (or whatever color) dress of their choosing while the men wear dark (or light) suits of their choosing will look unbalanced, but it might give you something closer to a more American style of BP
Basically, there are a million ways to do this, but I think the most important is that everyone be happy with what they are choosing. If a BP is important to you, maybe you can find a way to have some uniformity without exactly having it all matchy matchy. If you are okay with people being dressed completely differently, that’s okay too, of course…but make sure you are. I’m getting the impression that a bit more uniformity will matter to you, so see what you and your FI can work out.
Post # 10
We’re not having a bridal party either. However, if you wanted bridesmaids and your Fi didn’t want any groomsmen, I don’t see a problem with just having females in the bridal party. Or you could compromise another way by having the people you would have included in the bridal party still walk down the aisle in a processional, but not actually stand next to you during the wedding. Then, they could still come up to sign as witnesses and whatnot, but they wouldn’t have to match in any way.