(Closed) Have people been inviting themselves to your wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yup, they sure have! I just give the “I would love to have you attend but we are having a very intimate wedding and venue only holds a certain number of people speech.” I’m having to say this very often and have gotten better at this speech. Practice makes perfect lol.

Post # 4
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I knwo what you mean.  Because of this, I’m basically having an open invitation to my ceremony (it’s a large church), but only those with specific invites may come to the reception.  I am having the reception a bit of a distance from the ceremony venue and am keeping the location hushed up, so only those with invites will know where it is.

Post # 5
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes its super annoying.. just do the speech of limited guests

Post # 6
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Same here. The worst was when a girl I befriended on Facebook whom I went to high school with and hadn’t seen in about 10 years posted on my wall saying “I better be getting an invite in the mail soon :)” Seriously? We were never even friends back then. (sigh)

Post # 7
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

All the time.  I felt a lot better with the last person who invited herself, though.  She moved to Australia a couple years ago and is in town visiting.  “I’m so upset I won’t be here for your wedding!” she said.  “I would come if I could!”

My response: “Oh, yeah, too bad you won’t be there!” And then, the rest of the response that remained unsaid: “Not that you’d be there even if you were on the same side of the globe.  Go away.”

Post # 8
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ugh yes!! And the problem is my family is huuuuuuge so we are having 200 people at our wedding. Once some aquaintences heard that I guess they figured “Oh what’s one more?!” and assume it’s no big deal if they come too.

Yeah listen.. I would love to invite the whole world, but holy crap we are already inviting 200, I gotta cut the list somewhere or we seriously could end up with 400 people at this dang wedding! Eek!

I usually just try to tell people that it’s family only, with a few very, very close friends (which actually isn’t a lie!). I apologize and tell them that I would love for them to attend, but we are already at our limit and just can’t invite anyone else.

It sucks and I always feel so bad, but it has to be done!

Post # 10
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

I did have one person invite himself.  He told me on Facebook that he’d better get an invite and then messaged me his address before I could even respond.  At the time, we were planning on having a very small wedding – less than 30 people including ourselves – so he wasn’t going to make the cut.  I hadn’t told him that yet. 

Unrelated to his asking, we ended up deciding to invite more people.  I considered not even inviting him then, but he is a good friend even though I haven’t seen him in ages.  The funny thing is that he’s from out of town and I doubt he will actually show up to the wedding anyway. 

Post # 11
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@loreleileigh: WOW. I’m not sure how I would respond to “I better get an invite.”

Post # 12
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve had a few do so, indirectly…and I kinda gave in. =( The topic came up in front of the parents of one of my bridesmaids…and her mom started offering to make things for the wedding. ugggh. Also just last weekend some acquaintances who we hadn’t planned on inviting due to our strict budget, asked us if we’d like to have their brother make our cake….double ugggh. Personally, I always try to be non-presumtive when someone plans a wedding. Obviously if they are gushing to me about the details and dragging me to look at dresses I will probably assume I’m invited but If they merely mention their plans, I make no assumptions. It’s just rude.

Post # 13
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My old boss did that all the time. She’s not invited. lol.

Post # 14
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

YES!! I’ve had many people make comments assuming they are invited (which I brush off) but I’ve had plenty of others flat out invite themselves by buying plane tickets, writing additional names (like children and their 16 year old girlfriend) and to be honest, the whole thing has made me extremely bitter. I would recommend to any bride to put her foot down right away about who is invited and stick to it. Don’t let family pressure you or you’ll end up dreading the day.

Post # 15
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@moorelove: You had someone buy a plane ticket too?!

I had 2 people do that for their special friends. HOwever we let it slide because they lived 15 hours away and they were from his side of hte family, and only like 12 of them could afford to comve vs 150 of mine.

Tell us more!

Post # 16
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sadly it comes with the territory. All you can say is two things “Our budge is small so our venuse is full. We decided on a family wedding” or for those family members you see once a decade “The guestlist has been decided on”

 

I had like 5 people show up to the reception uninvited. However considering like 25 poeple never showed up, it all worked out

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