- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
My mom passed away about ten years ago when I was 19, and after that, her sisters sort of swooped in to become my surrogate mothers for awhile but we have lost touch since because of course I now see my dad’s side of the family more often. But with the wedding coming up – which my aunts know my mom would have totally ADORED being a part of – they decided to throw me a long-distance bridal shower that was meant to take place just before or on my engagement anniversary: Valentine’s Day.
I was hesitant at first because I wanted to see them all in person but it ended up being very sweet and fun to open up cards almost every day for a few weeks. And lucrative! It was a gift-card only shower, and we got about $500 in gift cards! And my aunts asked everyone who could to send a memory of my mom. I received pictures of her, funny stories, guesses about how crazy she’d be when it came to wedding planning… Very sweet.
BUT a bunch of people were invited to send me gifts who never would have been invited to a “real” shower. My future MIL asked about 10 people I’ve never heard of to send me gift cards – but they were invited to the wedding, so whatevs. But my DAD sent the shower invite to this woman who, yes, we should have sent a STD to if we were thinking. But we forgot about her.
This woman gave me a gorgeous pashmina from her travels in Pakistan (seriously the most luxurious item of clothing I now own… except maybe for my wedding attire), and wrote the longest letter about her relationship with my mom. She also gave me her business card, wrote down her phone number THREE times, and her address FOUR times. And asked, “WHEN is this wedding?!”
So now I am in the awkward position of adding her to the invite list because WOW what a generous/sweet gift and note – and duh, she’s inviting herself already, when we are at full capacity (we have an A list and a B list so when we receive rejections we can potentially invite a few more folks). Of course I’d love to have her there, but if my dad had added her to his list a month ago, I could have cut someone else out. Adding to the problem is that the designer of my invites is doing a lot of handwork on them and has put me at a limit of printing 115 invites (which needs to be enough to cover the B list, too) because it’ll be too hard to put more than that together.
Anyway, just had to vent to people who can appreciate my annoyance. I rarely give a crap about etiquette, but come on, Dad!