Post # 1
I am new to this LDR thing. I’ at grad school, my SO works and owns a house (which we lived in together for 2 years prior to this) elsewhere. I rarely see him now, and it really sucks.
I guess I’m having a bad few days– I haven’t seen my SO in too long, and I miss him terribly. I also miss just having some positive male attention! The only other male person who would pay attention to me, here, is not somene I want to spend time with. So I’m lonely and sad and miss my SO.
And, to make it worse, one of my housemates is just getting to know this very nice guy who’s very much into her. They spend a lot of time together– always making dinner together, and always hanging out. They’re eating dinner together in the kitchen now, while I ostensibly do homework (and surf the Bee) in my room. I can hear the sounds of their voices– not their words though. It’s obvious that they’re having fun and having interesting conversations. I’m terribly envious– of her having a man to pay attention to her and make her feel special, of the wonderful keyed-up feeling of a new relationship, of those fascinating conversations you have with someone when they’re very much like you. It’s not that my SO and I don’t have those interesting conversations anymore. . . it’s just that he is not around and I hate being without him. In some ways this is worse than being single– I am by myself, lonely, and I can’t even look for guys to date, or pay any real attention to men I find attractive! Of course, in other ways, this is definitely better than being single– I have a wonderful SO who loves me, and whom I talk to regularly, and a secure and healthy relationship with him. . . but talking on the phone and emailing sure doesn’t cut it after you’ve lived with someone for two years.
Post # 3
**HUGS** I completely understand. Fiance lived 5 hours away for nearly 4 years. I had a lot of those same feelings as you!
Skype really helped us out during those times…do you guys use that yet? I would also maybe try to get yourself out of the house for a little while, or maybe try to do some things with friends. One of the (few) bonuses of a LDR is that you have a little more freedom to do things with friends and you can have your own schedule, yet you still have your SO.
I don’t know if my advice helped all that much…but I have been there! It will get better!
Post # 4
@keepsmiling19: We are both sort of leery about modern technology (like Skype and texting!!!) for communicating. . . we’re weird and old-fashioned that way. . . plus I tried Skype once and for some reason I was very uncomfortable with it! But thank you for your advice and sympathy. 🙂
I would spend a little more time with friends, but the problem is, my roommate who is seeing this new guy is my closest woman friend so far, and she has a bit of a different lifestyle than I do– she has other friends who, like her, enjoy going out to a bar or something often, and I’m not into that (and I think I have less money than they do?). My other friends here are people who either live in another town, or there are complicated situations that make hanging out with them awkward, or homework takes over. . . ugh.
I think I need to distract myself from how I feel by going and doing some homework now. . .
Post # 5
I know how it is. It’s been nearly nine months since I’ve seen my Boyfriend or Best Friend (only a few weeks till a month-long visit!) and although we skype almost everyday, I get really jealous of friends who get to live in the same town as their guys.
I feel you completely.
Post # 6
I hear you on the skype not being your thing! I travel for work alot and we tried doing skype but both ended up just sort of sitting there… awkward!
Use this time to figure out new things you like to do! It’s an opportunity to go out and try something different, or join a class or something. Don’t sit there and feel sad, focus on making you a better you! You will get through it, and remember that if you can get through the hard times, the good times will be even better!
P.S. At least they are just making dinner! I lived in a tiny 2 bedroom basement suite (450sqft) when I was younger. My roomate used to come home with her boyfriend in the middle.of.the.day and partake in LOUD activities in her bed room. Ugh. I even told her that it was reallly inconsiderate and she just giggled and said “I can’t help it, hehe…”
Post # 7
I TOTALLY understand. That happened to me not long ago. My SO and I go to different colleges so we don’t see each other a lot and have to wait to get married. I HATE it! My friend met a guy 2 years ago and she talked to me about it ALL the time! “Oh Jeff is soo cute, I cant wait to get married! blah blah blah!” They finally got engaged and she told me all about it, as if i wanted to hear all the wonderful details. Lets just say, we really arent friends anymore, which is sad, but it hurts to hear how someones life is so perfect and wonderful all the time.
Some advice, get out of the house when he is there or listen to music. Also, write love letters to your SO if you can’t talk much. Mail it to him or save them for when you reunite! That really boosted my mood just thinking about how we fell in love and what makes our relationship so amazing and worth the time being away.
Hope this helps, keep your chin up, and stay strong 🙂