Weddingbee boards

So... my wedding is in less than three weeks. And, I just found out, from my brother, that my mom got married over the weekend. Yes, you heard me right... my mom got married three weeks before my wedding!

I'm shocked and hurt.  My mom has been engaged for nearly 2 years - with never a wedding date set... and now she gets hitched. WTF?!?!?!

Yes, maybe you can clairfy why this is not a good thing.  I'm assuming that she had a small, intimate ceremony due to the fact that you didn't know about it.  Also, if you didn't know about it, how will any of your guests?

Sorry, here's some more backstory...

my mom and I have never been close. She has many issues, she's an alcoholic, has many issues with being jealous, she is an alcoholic and honestly - has always put herself and any man she's been with before her children.  So, when her and her boyfriend got engaged 2 years ago, none of us were happy about it. He's an alcoholic too and they argue and fight a lot... to the point of swearing, yelling and throwing things at eachother. 

The reason I'm upset is first and foremost, I don't think they are right for eachother - even a week ago she was complaining about him and how he was a jerk and blah blah blah.  On top of that... I know this was about her... she is jealous and wants to be the center of attention at the wedding.  I've already asked her to tell my grandma, aunts & uncles, etc. before the wedding, but there will still be plenty of people who find out about it at the wedding. 

So, I'm miffed about it... I think it's total crap that she did it now - she could have done it months ago, or waited 4 weeks and did it then.

Our relationship isn't so bad that I wouldn't invite her to the wedding... it's just for years I only saw her on holidays - I couldn't take anymore. This year... has been better, or so I thought... But, I guess some people never change.

And FutureMrsKoontz - you're right... the best thing to do is not make a big deal out of it... That's exactly what she wants.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Well, I think you should tell as many people as you know, and ask your relatives to spread the word about your mother's wedding in the next few weeks.  That way, it won't be as much of a surprise and won't get as much attention.  If she's an alcoholic marrying another alcoholic, others may disapprove and I would rather shake my head in private than find out in public so that I can make my congratulations sound sincere. 

I agree with PP, tell everyone! Of course do it in an excited manner - like OMG I'm so happy for them! Even make an announcement at your rehearsal dinner so you can toast them and move on. That way your wedding day will be about you and your FH.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone -great ideas. I don't want to tell everyone for her - I think she should be doing some of that on her own...

As for the ceremony - they literally just went to the courthouse - just the two of them. While I think that's fine - she should've at least called us to tell us beforehand and afterward instead of me hearing it from my brother... who found out because he called her about something else.

And if that's all they wanted was a simple courthouse thing - why didn't they wait a month? Or do it last month?

Oh well... I guess it is what it is and I can't waste energy on it. If she's happy then that's all that matters.