- 3 years ago
Hi bees, just quite hurt at the moment, my fiancé and I are getting married next week and have had to uninvite my parents. I have never been close when them and they have always been very controlling an abusive, my mum is a somewhat nice lady by herself but my dad controls her. my dad goes crazy and has a horrible temper and blows up if things don’t go his way, and his opinion is the one and only in his opinion. They are very difficult people.
my fiancé and I are quite young, 23, but are mature for our ages have been together for 7 years now, we have lived together for 4 years. I moved out because I couldn’t take my dad’s verbal abuse anymore, was physical when I was younger and didn’t speak to them for the first 3 Years, I would always get sent abusive messages though. They always hated my fiancé for no reason. And I always had to lie about what I was doing, they are the type of people that look down on people that live in a normal area instead of a posh one.
The past year I have tried to reconcile with them, but my dad has caused me to be upset so many times about wedding things, that I have had to drive home half an hour crying. He is pissed off that we organised a whole wedding without consulting him as father of the bride and we have broken ‘social norms’ if we had included him it would have turned out to be a nightmare as well.
I do feel bad as my dad has been sick over the years, he uses it to make me feel even more guilty, they also went away on a overseas holiday and got back a few days ago 2 weeks before the wedding, and are now sick with viruses and going. On about Ebola, he ahouldnt have gone in the first place because his blood tests were showing very poor health results.
Theres a lot more things to explain his attitude and what he’s like but I would have to go on forever
I’ve also been sick and off work since July due to 2 open wound surgeries, which I have a medical pump for and still not quite healed. I also have a sickness I’m on antibiotics for, I am under a lot of stress at the moment and my parents have been throwing more on top with their abusive messages to the point I’ve been physically sick and crippled with stress.
My parents were playing around saying they are and they aren’t going to come aeceral times and when we put our foot down with our decisions say oh you don’t want us there, we are hosting our own wedding.
my fiancé was sick of seeing how sick they have made me and how they don’t support our relationship and decided to uninvite them, he tried to call their phone but they don’t answer unless they know who it is, he left a message saying they are uninvited and if they turn up will be escorted off. I have blocked them on my phone so I can’t receive any nasty messages or calls becaus et will crush me even more because I’m that fragile.
Im going to feel guilty on the day, and do now but them coming would have also ruined to because they would have caused drama. He ruined my school formal (prom), 18th birthday by upsetting me, and made me cry before several final exams. So I felt like wedding would be the same. I do need to put my health first at the moment though