Have you been to counselling…?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you been to counselling?
    Yes, pre-marital counselling. : (34 votes)
    9 %
    Yes, couples counselling with SO/an ex-SO. : (32 votes)
    9 %
    Yes, by myself for a specific circumstance (eg. my case). : (63 votes)
    18 %
    Yes, by myself for a broader reason. : (63 votes)
    18 %
    Yes, I continue/will continue to go for some time. : (32 votes)
    9 %
    Yes, but I will not/do not plan to continue or go again. : (11 votes)
    3 %
    No, I have never had a need to. : (39 votes)
    11 %
    No, I didn't want to go. : (10 votes)
    3 %
    I found it helpful. : (74 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

    @FutureMrsHallam:  

    When I was 19 my brother was killed, and because it was at work, Workers Comp covered counselling.

    I’d say about 6 months later I started seeing a counsellor that was set up by Workers Comp. Our first session she mentioned that her fees were more than what Workers Comp would pay but they were waving them (umm, ok?). I saw her for quite a few months and I never really got anything out of it. She didn’t really give me anything that helped me move forward. The only benefit I saw was being able to talk to a person that listened outside of my life. 

    At one point she had to cancel an appointment and she NEVER called me again. As a counsellor I think that she should have called to check on her patient, but I was just over it… and didn’t see any point to ever seeing her again. 

    I’ve seen other various types of ‘healers’ in the alternative healing category and I have found that by far more helpful than talking to someone that went to school with some textbook healing and breathing exercises. 

    I guess in that sense, I see a counsellor, but I go to her for energy healing practices, and work through personal stuff in that way. 

    In the traditional sense of a counsellor I voted yes for a circumstance and I found it fairly unhelpful. 

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    5421 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @FutureMrsHallam:  I went for rape counselling a few years ago. I found it totally unhelpful as I wasn’t able to vocalise what had happened, so didn’t really get anyway. I much preferred, and found it much more therapeutic, talking to fellow victims anonymously online.

    I’m currently considering someone who specialises in Narcissistic Personality Disorder however, as we believe that POH’s mother has it, and her behaviour has caused untold problems, culminating in my currently being signed off work with stress and anxiety. I feel it might be useful to speak to someone who specialises in it so that I can better understand it, and know that I’m not imaging things or going mad, which is how I feel sometimes.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I have been in counseling on and off since I was 14 (currently off). I struggle with depression and anxiety. It’s meh for me, not helpful, not bad

    Post # 7
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    You have to find the right provider. I have had great experiences and not great experiences, so I would recommend finding someone that jives with you and helps get you where you’re trying to go. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1768 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I went to therapy for a while – probably four months or so? – in late 2012. I’ve always had problems with changes, and all the sudden getting engaged/married and the permanancy of it all hit me like a ton of bricks – I was really depressed, having panic attacks daily, and very anxious. It was a great diet – I ended up losing 20 pounds, ha!

     

    I saw two different therapists – the first I didn’t like, and the second I ended up liking more, but it wasn’t a perfect fit. I ended up getting on some meds and stopped going to therapy and just…got better. I’ve only had one panic attack sense then (unrelated to the previous issues), and while my anxiety comes and goes, I know coping mechanisms now. I’m also not on meds anymore.

    I’m generally pro-therapy now that I’ve gone – I think it’s helpful no matter what your problem is.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @FutureMrsHallam:  I went in my teens for a “specific” reason and hated it bc my parents wre making me. I have gone twice as an adult on my own for broader reasons and found it extremely helpful. I would totally go again. My FI has gone on his own in the past and liked it. We even have the same cognitive therapy workbook given to us by different therapists! 

    We have considered premarital counseling. We are both very verbal and not afraid to bring up hard subjects, so it doesn’t feel like there’s a huge need for it at this time but we’d totally go in a heartbeat if either of us felt like we needed to. 

    To me, therapy is far from a last resort. It is a useful tool for just about anyone. If my SO wasn’t willing to go when we were having problems that would feel like more of a red flag than any of our issues. Im really grateful I’m with someone who knows the benefits of therapy. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I’ve never been and I wouldn’t. I have recommended it before when a poster seemed reluctant to give up a shitty relationship that made her miserable. Possibly counseling could help someone like that. Clearly keeping the status quo isn’t! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1952 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’ve been on two seperate occasions. I was dragged into therapy after my mum died, and I didn’t want to go. It was absolutely unhelpful and I hated it. I was forced to go for six months and it didn’t do anything for me.

    The second time I went, I went on my own accord. I found it very helpful. I hope I don’t need to go again.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6882 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

    I went to therapy once, and honestly, after talking it all out to someone that sat and wrote it down, it really helped me realize what I needed to prioritize and work on. I literally left there thinking, well duh, why couldn’t I do that myself? So I never went back… having someone as an impartial sounding board was really all I needed I guess. It helped me put things into perspective and realize that some things I just couldn’t change (death of my dad) and after that I kind of just started to let it go.

    I’ve never gone for pre marrital or couple’s counseling. Since we don’t have any real relationship problems I don’t really see the benefit. If it ain’t broke..

    Post # 13
    Member
    4220 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’ve been through lots of therapy and various types of counseling since highschool. Ive found it very helpful, with the exception of a few counselors I didn’t jive with. I did couples counseling and CBT and really, they made a huge difference in my life. The thing is you have to want to do it, you have to be willing to do the work and sometimes you don’t get the right counselor. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    7098 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I went a few times after I was involved in a bad car accident and the passenger in the other car died from the impact of my vehicle. I felt totally stupid most of the time but I think the things he talked about were helpful at the time. I also went on an antidepressant for a while until I felt better.

    Post # 15
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I am a counselor, so…yes. I’ve gone to counseling for personal and professional reasons. However, I haven’t gone to couples counseling. I think it’d be really interesting though!

    I think part of the reason people are so anti-counseling is because they don’t quite understand the purpose of going. Counseling, particularly couples counseling, isn’t to “fix” problems. It’s to give you skills to address your problems in a healthy way. 

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    6048 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I was in counseling for a few months. It’s good to talk to someone impartial. It helps just to focus on me for an hour a week.    

    I think if you go into it with an open mind and a goal or some idea of what you want to work on, it helps.  I recommend it because it can help just to purge out things over someone who isn’t as caught up in your problems/issues as you are, they are objective.  

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