Have you even been sexually assaulted?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t really want to go into details about my past at all, it took a long time to overcome, but I wanted to post to show my support. Many women wont want to talk about it which is completely understandable. I can see this thread as having a lot of support but not many coming forward.

I’m here for support and if anyone wants to talk about the issue through PM I’m here, I just don’t really feel too comfortable yelling it off the rooftops which is how this would seem to me, virtually speaking that is.

Post # 6
Member
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ll come forward.

I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times from childhood through adulthood. I have read through the project about which you’re posting, but I’ve not participated.

I’ve worked extensively in therapy to process and work through the things that I’ve experienced. I feel that I am in a very good place now and have moved from feeling powerless in these types of situations to being able to stand up for myself.

Someone who assaulted me once attempted to do so again only a few years ago, and I nearly broke his wrists (I say somewhat smugly… ha…)

I had to learn to take charge of my body…to use it to claim my space… to use it to protect myself (e.g., nearly breaking his wrists) whereas I previously would just shut down.

Actually, and this is really weird to a lot of people, what has helped me the most has been horseback riding. See… with horses, you can’t be reserved and afraid to use your body… you have to use your whole body to control situations. Working with horses in that way has helped me tremendously to reclaim my body, my space, and to learn how to physically own myself and the space around me (if that makes ANY sense).

Post # 8
Member
4220 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Once seriously and several more times that were random/grope style attacks. I have not recovered. I don’t think I’m ever going to. I am 97% hopeless that I will ever be able to move on. It effects everything I do, every day, all the time. 

Post # 9
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’ve talked about it briefly here on WBee before.

An older cousin… went on for several years… inappropriate touching.

I am upset it happened, but I am most upset that when I told my Mother she didn’t protect me, or believe me

(I was 11 or 12 at the time, cousin would have been 14 or 15)

I have since come to realize that my Mother was not a mentally well person, this was just one more case of her being a neglectful parent when I was growing up.

I love her, but eventually “her issues” got too big for me to deal with (and retain my own sanity) so we are estranged.

It hasn’t been easy the estrangement, but I KNOW it was the right thing to do.

 

Post # 10
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It’s terrible that such a thing has happened to so many people. It makes me feel so lucky to be able to say that nothing like that has ever happened to me. I hope it never does.  

I just want to say to all of you who have experienced such trauma that I really admire your strength, whether you’re coming forward like OP or just coping with this privately. You are a true inspiration.  

Post # 11
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@This Time Round:  that is awful. I hear about mothers not believing their children all the time when they come forward about an assault and its heartbreaking. I promised myself that no matter what te circumstances, I would ALWAYS stand behind my child and make sure that if someone inappropriate was happening, that I would make sure the perpetrator pays for what they have done. I hope I never have to deal with that, but I’m sorry that happened to you ):

Post # 12
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

these things make me so sad. especially when it starts at such a young age. i count myself lucky. i had one close call in college when i was passed out (drunk) at an out of town birthday party. the guy didn’t realize i was still semi-concious. later that night he moved on to another girl ( i hate that i wasn’t more aware to alert people).  police were later involved and charges were made. it was crazy. but it could have been much, much worse. one of my close friends was also raped. such an unimaginable thing. i’m sorry for each of you who have experienced something of the sort. so, so sorry. 

Post # 13
Member
10494 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I wonder if there’s a woman out there who has made it to her mid 20s without being sexually assaulted.

Post # 14
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m 28 and luckily have never been sexually assaulted.

Post # 15
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’ve been looking into all of this all day now, my heart is so broken by the sickness of this world.

I know I was being a bit hesitant to share but I’ll go ahead, I’ve moved past it but I don’t want to be defined by it, that’s why I don’t immediately share. So briefly put…

Age 2-9 by a close family member

5-9 by a step parent

9 by a teacher

14 by a friend

15 by a boyfriend

16 A friend tried but I was able to escape

17 at a party, thought it was safe to drink if I had a friend with me to make sure nothing happened, we were supposed to keep an eye on eachother but yeah, she didn’t and I woke up in the middle.

It took years of therapy to overcome but it is possible. My list of abuse is much more extensive, unfortunately though this list is of SA, looking at it typed out I can see why my husband says I’m a strong person.

I wish there was something I could do to help, now that I’ve gotten help and healed I wish I could find some way to make my past have purpose by helping those who have struggled with the same thing. I just don’t know how. It petrifies me with my daughter being in school, and a baby on the way. I’m seriously considering homeschooling right now after reading about the “hazing” incident in Colorado.

Post # 16
Member
10494 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@future_mrs_sommer:  Really?  You’ve never been groped when it was unwanted or have something similar happen to you?

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