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posted 6 months ago in Intimacy
  • poll: If you caught your Husband masturbating would you..
    Be angry : (10 votes)
    6 %
    Walk out like nothing happened : (53 votes)
    31 %
    Assist him : (110 votes)
    64 %
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    Tiggah    August 18, 2012   Baltimore

    Hey ladies have you ever caught your husband masturbating? If you did how did you handle the situation? Was it awkward?

     
    2.
    Member
    2,390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    MissHobbit       

    I let him go about his buisness. No biggie. The only time it was awkward was the time I walked in on an old boyfriend's roommate.

     
    3.
    Member
    2,026 posts
    Buzzing bee
    alishaloo    October 20, 2012  

    When I'm not in the mood. DH starts "taking care of himself" it super turns me on! JErk lol.

    I'd hope he'd wiat for me to take care of his needs but I'd understand if maybe I'd gotten home 2 or 3 hours early or something.

     
    4.
    2,032 posts
    Buzzing bee
    PutABirdOnIt    December 30, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    You don't have an "other" or "I don't know" option. I know mine does it but he's super sneaky or super fast because I've never even come CLOSE to catching him. Lol

    Shower, maybe?

     
    5.
    Member
    3,386 posts
    Sugar bee
    allyfally    April 26, 2014   Louisville, KY

    I dont understand why some people get mad at their SO's for masturbating. Can someone who does get mad about it explain why to me? I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I'm just honestly curious.

     
    6.
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    3,286 posts
    Sugar bee
    Hyperventilate    June 15, 2013   Oklahoma City

    I would most happily assist him.

     
    7.
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    302 posts
    Helper bee
    humminbird    October 21, 2017   From/Married: Maryland Live: Colorado

    @allyfally:  +1

     
    8.
    1,612 posts
    Bumble bee
    subtlebee    January 1, 2017  

    laugh and say I am sorry for interrupting them

     
    9.
    Member
    5,412 posts
    Bee Keeper
    EffieTrinket        Oklahoma

    It wouldn't bother me one bit. His hand was there before I was, so it has seniority. :D

     
    10.
    1,008 posts
    Bumble bee
    FutureMuniz    December 7, 2012   Henderson, Nevada

    ASSIST!! lol maybe cause we have a healthy sex life if he masturbates he does it when hes  next to me and I will assist if im in the mood or i just let him rub me for inspiration lol sorry if its TMI :/ We never watch porn lol we just use eachother so its normal!

     

     

     

    @Tiggah:  

    Do you freak out?? 

     

     
    11.
    Member
    1,373 posts
    Bumble bee
    lia22    December 1, 2012   BC, Canada

    @alishaloo:  Agreed,when im all like "IM not in the mood" the he does it I'm like shit ok fine! Now Im in the mood damn it

     
    12.
    Member
    5,486 posts
    Bee Keeper
    This Time Round    December 2012   Canada / Wedding in the US South over Christmas Holidays

    TO allyfally:  ok... I'll try

    As an oldtimer (I am over 50) I think that part of it is based in the taboo of masterbating to begin with... there are certainly some religious groups that see it as a sin (self indulgent - impure thoughts - "a waste").  And from that comes the idea that to enjoy sex without your partner is therefore not appropriate behaviour.

    Of course modern times and thinking have evolved... so that most people now see it solely as a "physical act / need" that is only natural, and doesn't really mean any one thing or another.

    That said, there is certainly some old-time thought still surrounding this "taboo".  I know in my first marriage that I was hurt if I found out my Ex was getting his jollies without me (more so when our marriage was on the rocks, and there wasn't a lot of sex anyhow... never mind that he was into sexual manipulation / control).  I didn't like the idea of him masterbating one little bit (call it a lack of self-confidence)

    With Mr TTR I am in a much more secure place, and more self-confident.  I've matured to realize that it is for men more of a releasing "act" than an meaningful exerciese.  And that is totally natural and not a thing that they do to p!ss women off. (Lol, yes I have come a long way in 30+ years)

    All that said, Mr TTR has told me that he doesn't indulge since I've come on the scene... he could... well if the "mood" struck him... or if we'd been apart a long while.  BUT he doesn't.  And he doesn't have any hang ups about this activity either... he knows full well that it normal male behavior.

    We are together 24/7 and our sex life is good.  And he tells me the main reason is because he just doesn't feel the need to self-gratify... he would soo much more like to be with me, and have "our sex" be what he relies on consistently... than pull a fast one (pun intended) now and then on his own.

    As I said, I'm way more mature now... so I've given up the jealous / anger aspect.  I don't for a minute think my man is with-holding anything from me, or our relationship so if he does it or not, I don't care (and frankly it is NOT MY BUSINESS)

     

     
    13.
    Member
    5,036 posts
    Bee Keeper
    GreenEyedMoon    January 14, 2012   Dallas

    @EffieTrinket:  Bahahahahahaha!

     

    Assist.  DH rarely does it, though.

     
    14.
    2,032 posts
    Buzzing bee
    PutABirdOnIt    December 30, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    For the record: if I ever did manage to catch him, I would think it was super hot.  I like to watch him (in bed) but not sure how it would go if he was caught off-guard.

     
    15.
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    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    arwenlynne    May 11, 2013  

    I chose angry. That's just because the one time I did catch him masturbate, I wanted to have sex--albeit that was in the first few months of our relationship. Now I just tell him to hold it for me if I'm going to be home soon, or else go ahead lol

     
    16.
    Member
    1,293 posts
    Bumble bee
    eimajleigh    July 14, 2012   Wedding in San Diego

    Assist! He's caught me before!

    Why would anyone be mad at their SO for masturbating? Unless sex was an issue like with Trey and Charlotte in SATC.  (Yes, I just used SATC as an example.  For Shame!)

    Masturbating is a very healthy and normal activity.  I remember a college professor of mine (I had a major crush on him!) sighting studies that showed a correlation between higher education and masturbation.  He then followed up with, "So hooray for getting your PhD!" I adored that man!    

     
    17.
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    Peony526    May 26, 2013   Richmond, VA

    @allyfally:  I'll happily be rude in your place and say that as long as you have a fulfilling sex life with your partner, there's no reason to get mad at your SO for masturbating.

    Unless he/she is jerking off instead of f***ing you you're an asshole if you're offended by masturbation. Sometimes you're just horny and your partner isn't around/you're too lazy for sex/your partner isn't in the mood. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting yourself off.

     
    18.
    Member
    1,293 posts
    Bumble bee
    eimajleigh    July 14, 2012   Wedding in San Diego

    @Peony526:  you're an asshole if you're offended by masturbation. 

    That's hilarious! I actually laughed out loud when I read that!

     

     
    19.
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    Peony526    May 26, 2013   Richmond, VA

    @eimajleigh:  glad you're amused! I was readying myself for angry comments. Also, are we even allowed to say asshole on this site? I've heard they don't like cursing.

     
    20.
    Member
    3,386 posts
    Sugar bee
    allyfally    April 26, 2014   Louisville, KY

    @Peony526:  Haha, thanks!! Thats exactly what I wanted to say. :D

     
    21.
    Member
    1,293 posts
    Bumble bee
    eimajleigh    July 14, 2012   Wedding in San Diego

    @Peony526:  I have no idea, but I certainly appreciated it!

     
    22.
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    Member
    1,195 posts
    Bumble bee
    kellmerr    May 2013   California

    I don't think its a big deal.I believe that most men do it..

     
    23.
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    Peony526    May 26, 2013   Richmond, VA

    @kellmerr:  and women!

     
    24.
    Member
    3,111 posts
    Sugar bee
    Regina Phalange    Array  

    I've never caught him, but if I did it would totally turn me on and I'd join in :)

     
    25.
    Member
    10,653 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    HappilyEverAfter54    June 23, 2012   Central Pennsylvania

    Well I have caught him and I just slowly backed out of  the room and laughed. I played it off like I never noticed but we both knew he got caught LOL. I don't care I was just caught off guard and trying to take a nice relaxing bath but the phone rang and it was for him LOLOL.

     
    26.
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    Akbridezilla    July 15, 2014  

    I got mad the first time but then the second and third it was like whatever. plus he does it in his sleep so I figure if he does it in his sleep he can do it while hes awake. and 50% of the time I do help him lol.

     
    27.
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    9 posts
    Newbee
    Tiggah    August 18, 2012   Baltimore

    Thank you I just wanted to see if my wife and I were wierd lolz

     

     
    28.
    Member
    400 posts
    Helper bee
    MissLittleChicken    April 25, 2015   UK

    Sometimes I make him do it in front of me it's Hot haha!

     
    29.
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    9 posts
    Newbee
    Tiggah    August 18, 2012   Baltimore

    @MissLittleChicken:  my wife does too. Its a turn on for me because she likes watching

     
    30.
    Member
    2,767 posts
    Sugar bee
    KateByDesign    October 29, 2011   Virginia

    This totally happened to me.  And I know I'm in the minority, and I know it's natural...but there is NOTHING sexy about that to me.  It actually turns me OFF.

    So I just walked right past.  He knew I had seen him when he saw that I was on the other side of the house and didn't say a word about it.  We talked about it later and I just asked that he close the door next time.  He was sooooo embarrassed but I wasn't mad at him or anything - that's just nothing I want to see.

     
    31.
    Member
    9,744 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    Sweet.Sugar.Rose    December 11, 2010   VA

    Id give him a hand! ;) Pun intended!

     
    32.
    Member
    12,698 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    If I was in the mood, I'd assist.  Otherwise, I'd just leave him to his business.  Masturbating is totally healthy and normal.

     
    33.
    Member
    2,916 posts
    Sugar bee
    lolot    August 24, 2013   Rocky Mountains

    I "help" him quite often.  It's a very sexy and intimate experience, and great for those of us with a lower sex drive than the man's.  I recommend giving it a try, ladies!  Wink

     
    34.
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    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    Mydreymz    November 12, 2013   EDD Dec 11

    When I was with my ex husband I didn't want sex very often (it wasn't a good relationship). But if he were to lay in bed and start strokin' (lol) then it would turn me on and sex would happen. 

     
    35.
    1,218 posts
    Bumble bee
    the boss of you    April 9, 2012   give or take

    There sure are a lot of masturbation posts lately. 

    Undecided

     
    36.
    Member
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    Aquababes        London, UK

    @EffieTrinket:  Oh that was real funny!

    Yeah, I would gladly assist. I don't even mind him masturbating to porn.

     
    37.
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    amberkathleen    December 21, 2013   South Dakota, USA

    I voted "assist". If he was just masturbating, I would be like.. why? Hello, real thing here. Why? lol. I wouldn't be angry, just a bit confused. I understand the times we are not together, but if we were and he was doing that instead I'd be a little concerned and like.. wtf.

     
    38.
    Member
    3,452 posts
    Sugar bee
    bklynbridetobe    August 2013   Brooklyn Born

    leave him alone. thats his private time, i'd feel like I interupped.

     

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