Have you ever accepted the 'token' invitation?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

if you want to go then go. Maybe email her and let her know how honored you are to be invited since you know how difficult it is to plan a wedding and decide on the guest list. Even if it was a token invite, once she knows you truly want to be there it won’t matter. 

Post # 4
687 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, I think you ARE overthinking it. If she invited you and you want to go, then just go! Based on what you’ve said, there’s no reason to believe that she *doesn’t* want you there. 

Post # 5
592 posts
Busy bee

I would go.  You might be overthinking it a bit.  I sent several invitations out to peopel I knew from high school even if we didn’t talk for a long time because they were important parts of my life and I wanted them at there on my special day.

I have received invitaions that I knew for certain were “token invitations.”   I went anyway because I love weddings 🙂 I got them nice gifts to sort of “cover my plates.”

Post # 6
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would definitely go! I’m sure she would love the oppertunity to see you!

Post # 7
460 posts
Helper bee

If she didn’t want you there, and you happened to ask her about the wedding at some point, she could have easily said, “well, ya know, space, budget, blah blah blah” … but she did send you an invite, so I think she does want you there.

Post # 9
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you are overthinking it. I would just figure out what you really want and go from there. If you don’t want to go to this wedding, then don’t. But if you really do and you’re just psyching yourself out, then RSVP yes, go and have a good time. 

Post # 10
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

You’re overthinking.  You sound just like me.  I’m the one who’s managed to bridge the gap and stay friend with the entire high school group from 12 years ago, some i’m closer with than others.  They won’t all be invited to my wedding and I wasn’t invited to all of theirs.  There will be people who don’t really like each other much as a result of high school related drama but we’re grown ups and hopefully no one cares who kissed whos boyfriend 10 years ago (especially seeing as we’re all with different people and most of us are married/engaged now).  Go to the wedding!!!

Post # 12
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Maybe she invited you because she missed you, too?  I think you’re reading too much into it.  I think most brides invite people they want to see to their wedding, not just out of obligation.

Post # 13
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

You’re overthinking this.  I’m surprised that you even think it’s an option that it’s a “token invitiation”.  I’ve never heard of doing this, and there’s no way for you to know without asking her.  Any invitation I receive, I assume they sent it because they want me there.  So, if you want to go, then go.

Post # 14
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Dude, if you want to go – GO! Token or not, she wants you there in some capacity. Go and show your support. 

Post # 15
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’ve gone to a wedding where I was surprised I was invited, b/c we’re not that close, but we like each other and we catch up when around mutual friends. I wanted to go to a wedding and I wanted FI to experience more weddings, since I knew we would be getting engaged soon. I had fun! (And I get them a financial gift which is common around here). That said, I would be fine if she didn’t go to mine.

We’re going to another one this year where I wouldn’t have batted an eye if I wasn’t invited, but i like the people going so it will be fun. 

Post # 16
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@smiles4jo:  You’re overthinking it. If she didn’t want you there she would have sent an invite to someone she wanted to see  more. I know that sounds harsh but it’s true, you’ve been there and understand the stress of putting together/cutting down a guest list, if you got an invite it means your presence is wanted.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors