Have you ever been asked…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Wow… the only time I’ve been asked that is when I was online dating many years ago and even then I thought it was a douchy question. You’re reaction sounds completely justified – I would be thinking the same thing. If he doesn’t know by now…

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If this is a serious question then I’d reply by saying I’d offer him about 5 minutes to get out of my sight and stay there! I mean I know you know the chap and we don’t but that’s an extraordinarily odd thing to say. It isn’t a job interview. If he doesn’t know you well enough already then this isn’t the way to deepen his knowledge!

 

Post # 5
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsWe:  Wow…that is pretty harsh.  I have not been asked that, but I am in agreement with you.  I would be telling him to kick rocks.  That is just a hurtful comment fo him to make to his SO in a committed relationship.

Post # 6
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

That is extremely harsh I would have dumped him immediatly. I have a no tolerance for BS policy. I inacted this after realising I was the common denominator in failed relationships. It lead to a lot of one off dates going no where and me thinking maybe I was a jaded witch. Then I met my husband took me a while to trust him completely because yes I was a little jaded but he never gave me any BS and treated me as an equal. So you handled it better than I would have that would have been a massive deal breaker for me. I understand men are obtuse at times, and some worse than others but that is just beyond obtuse.

 

Post # 7
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

I would ask a little further to see exactly what he meant by that, what was he getting at ?

Post # 8
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah I’d be like “please elaborate.” If he meant it the way it sounded, I’d definitely be offering him the door…

Post # 9
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What do you have to offer?  If this weren’t abundantly obvious to my fiance by now, then there would be no reason for us to be together.  That’s so not ok.

Post # 10
Member
683 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Holy crap, I hope he wasn’t serious. Hah!

I’d offer him the chance to pack what he really wanted to keep and GTFO because next time he came around his shit would be on the front lawn/porch/insert-applicable-place-here.

Post # 11
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

No.
Maybe I’ve been asked what I’m bringing to the table, but I’m talking about little things like chores and wedding planning, NOT our entire relationship.

If he asked me that I’d offer to help him pack his things.

Post # 12
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

That’s a tremendously hurtful thing to ask. I think this would absolutely tear me apart if asked my SO.

Can I ask about the context in which your SO asked that?

Post # 13
Member
9253 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsWe:   W.T.F.  ??

Good grief.  I hope you got appropriately pissed off at him for that.

Post # 14
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

my current FI has never asked but i often think of it to myself, and then get very depressed, many of my ex’s have asked- i work two crap jobs one getting min-wage the other just a bit more, nothing anyone can really survive on, i work 20hrs a day-5-6 days a week, i often thing what do i bring to this relationship…nothing, all i do is work, the money i make is my money, im not being greedy i just have TONS of bills myself and all i do is work to pay them off/down. the ony thing i do for the house is i buy all the groceries, i dont help him with any of the other bills because i honestly don’t have it, meanwhile when i do im putting it way for a wedding…i don’t know if i should quit my second min-wage job and just be home every night at 530pm, and cook him dinner or should i work so im not a financial burden on him, he said a few times “you should just quit, sh*t ill give you the $30 you would have made if you worked tonight”, UGH im so upset about this all the time…i hope i don’t make him “lonely” by never being around, but he also works quite a bit, 7am-830 pm…7days a week…

Post # 15
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@ChloeTM2707:  Um, that sounds more like something I’d say to a salesperson.  I’d probably respond with something snarky like, “more than you deserve.”

Post # 16
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Steampunkbride:  totally agree.

I was asked this question once before, by a guy who is now my ex. It was totally in a douchebag way, too, kind of like “well I know I’m all that, but what can you do for me?” It was quite insulting and I knew we had no future. The nerve of your SO! He should be telling YOa why he’s so in love with you and all the things you bring to his life.

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