Have you ever been invited to a wedding without your SO?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@cbgg:  Never been invitd to a wedding without DH, but we already have established that we are a unit, so if he were invited but not me or I was invited but not him, we wouldn’t go.

Post # 4
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

 

@cbgg:  I was invited to a wedding in the Fall that didn’t include my husband. It was an old friend from university so I wasn’t really surprised. He had never met her plus she was having a smaller wedding so we weren’t offended in any way.

 

I had to edit…no it didn’t change my choice to go or not o given the circumstances. Now if it was someone who we both knew and had met before then it would effect my choice.

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Nope. If I were, it would effect my choice but it would depend on who the person was that was getting married (if SO didn’t really know the person or something). I would be offended if it was a family member or mutual friend of ours getting married and did not invite my SO.

Post # 6
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@cbgg:  Nope. And I’ve posted about how my friend’s wedding was just parents, brothers and me… and my then-boyfriend of 9 months. She was by no means obligated to invite him, but knew that we were serious so she did. I can’t imagine someone inviting only me to a wedding now that we’re engaged, much less after we’re married. 

Post # 7
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’ve never been to a wedding where someone of age wasn’t allowed to bring a date. It would effect my decision of whether or not to attend. After all, is there really much of a difference between a couple who has been together for five years without a marriage certificate and a couple who has been together for five years with a marriage certificate?

Post # 9
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yup, once and I had to travel to Detroit for it. I went, it wasn’t an issue and I dont take offense to be invited to events without DH.  That friend was later invited to my wedding with her husband. She came To NY without him. 

Post # 12
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes.  It was a girl I grew up with, and there was 2 tables that sat 20, and only one couple (because two of our neighbors grew up and married each other).  It was so much fun! We hadn’t been able to all see each other or hang out, no babies no spouses to babysit.  It was local and DH(at the time SO) was out of town, he’d only met the bride a handful of times so he didn’t want to go.  

 

I was also at my cousins wedding, the groom. My younger brother and I were both invited without a +1 (both of us were living with our SO’s also), we both went and had fun. It was a night out of my life, and if i didn’t want to go I wouldn’t have.  

ETA: My younger brother and I were both with our SO’s for 4years or so, and we both got engaged and neither of us married those people. 

Post # 13
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I was once accidentally left off an invitation to a wedding that my husband was invited to. When he asked the groom (his friend) about the exclusion, it turned out to just be an oversight. Apparently they knew I kept my last name, and they wanted to double check it to get it right on the invitation. Then they derped and sent them out before double-checking.

Sometimes it’s just a silly mistake like that, so it’s always good to inquire before you decline an invitation!

Post # 14
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am actually invited to someone’s wedding and the invitation was only addressed to me.

I am not sure the bride is a staunch follower of ettiquette and to be honest the only reason I know half of the stuff I know is from the bee.  So, I don’t know if she intentionally only invited me.  I am still undecided about going.

Post # 15
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

So the +1’s you get to attend a wedding (other than the married/engaged) is to prove how serious your relationship is to the world?  

Post # 16
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Have you been invited to a wedding without your SO? Yes

Did it effect (sic) your choice to attend? It didn’t affect my choice to attend, but the effect was that I spent much of the night taking pictures to MMS him. Some people thought it was rude, but I just couldn’t imagine not sharing the experience with him, especially since I was seated at a table of mostly couples and my siblings.

What were the circumstances? My cousin (C) and her FI got married in NYC, where they met and have their life together, though they are both from LA. They chose NYC because they wanted a more intimate wedding so forcing family to travel really cut the numbers. 

They also didn’t meet my now-FI until after they finalized the guest list. 

In what circumstances are you personally ok with this, and in what circumstances is it not? I’m ok with it in this context, though I’m not ok with the expectation of an unplugged wedding when that wasn’t set.

I was also irritated to see that C’s sister’s boyfriend got invited, when it was only family and close friends. However, now that we’re doing the same for our wedding, so my sister’s boyfriend is getting invited (FI and I have even hosted his dad one night, for some unexpected business in SF) as we consider him family / close friend, but C’s sister is the only one getting an invite to ours, as we’re inviting only family + close friends. i.e. I can better empathize.

If C’s sister declines, I understand and won’t be upset about it. I also understand if C’s sister gets annoyed that my sister’s BF gets invited, but tough cookies – we have precedent of how to handle this situation, which was set by her sister. 

I’m anticipating more of a ruckus tied to 2nd cousins / children not being included. 

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