Have you ever broken up with your current partner?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Same Question from the post title.
    We have broken up before : (83 votes)
    23 %
    We have never broken up : (195 votes)
    53 %
    I do not take our break-up period into account, when discussing how long we've been together : (70 votes)
    19 %
    I do take our break-up period into account, when discussing how long we've been together : (18 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I might get flamed for this, but if you were broken up and dating other people to me you can’t count that time as you were together. My SO and I “broke up” for like 3 days so I can’t say I have the same experience as you, but IMO  you cant count the times when you were broken up and dating other people as part of your “dating time”

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    975 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

    @SincerelyShe:  I think you have been dating just over 4 years. You can’t count the time you were broken up as time you have dated. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3596 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Tell them what you want, it’s frankly no one’s business.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @SincerelyShe:  I had on again off again relationships before my FI and personally I never counted break up time. you are the only one who can choose what you feel is right about your relationship but in your shoes I personally would say “We were casual for a few years starting in 2009 but have been in a serious relationship since Oct 2011. Particularly bc it wasn’t just a fight & figure it out time but you were actually dating other people it would feel weird to me to say we’d been together the whole time. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My FI and I dated for a very brief time my freshman year in college (his sophomore year) – like 2 months tops before we broke up. He was still young and wild and didn’t want to be in a serious relationship, and I’m kind of a serial monogamous. We had a friends in common because my sorority sisters hung out with some of his fraternity brothers, so we would see each other every now and then, but not a whole lot. We were broken up for about a year and a half before we got back together.

    When people ask how long we’ve been together, I start the clock at when we started dating the second time (so almost 8 years now). I don’t ever include the time we dated before we broke up and got back together – it wasn’t enough time to really count for much and we were apart for so long, we were different people when we got back together. I do mention that we dated briefly and separated and got back together if the conversation turns that way and people ask about our history.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8708 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Nope. I have a very firm stance on breaking up. You only break up if you want to stay broken up. There are no redos. There are no second chances.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I was just thinking about this the other day. My friend posted on FB that it was her 3 year anniversary with her boyfriend… I have no idea how she can count this as 3 years if all of last year they were in a very very bad break up. She FB blasted him daily, deleted all their pictures together on FB, physically fought, and she moved out. 

    I think if you break up, the clock should starts over, especially if it was for a significant amount of time. That, or say “on and off for __ years,” but that just highlights your breakup. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2169 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @SincerelyShe:  My ex and I broke up, got back together, and then stayed together for a lot longer than we were together before the break up. We didn’t take the break up into account because we broke up right before winter break and were talking every day during that period anyway. Then as soon as we got back from break, we got back together. In our eyes, that didn’t count as a real break up. We agreed on that. 

    If you were broken up for a couple of months and dating other people, I (personally)would count it as a break up and not count that time period as part of your relationship. Having said that, you and your BF should tell people whatever you’re comfortable with. Agree on something and go with it–don’t overanalyze it!

    Post # 12
    Member
    11589 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    No, never. Next month makes 7 years! Op, I would go with what 

    @MexiPino:  said! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    @SincerelyShe:  people get easily offended on the boards 🙂 thats all I meant by getting flamed. lol it sounds like its complicated for you to explain, so just talk to your SO and see what he tells people.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @SincerelyShe:  I say when we met and when we started dating exclusively. I don’t count break up time or time seeing other people. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee

    The first few years of our relationship were really rocky!  At one point, it felt like we were breaking-up and getting back together every other month.  I would agree that you shouldn’t include the times you weren’t together, but to my FI we were always “together” even when we were broken up, and he doesn’t want to exclude those “gaps” in our overall dating timeline.  Even though I started dating other people at one point, my FI never looked at another woman b/c he always “knew” that I was the one for him and stayed “true” to me even though he had all the freedom to date other people.  So whenever people ask us how long we’ve been together, I go along with him and tell them it’s almost 6 years (even though technically it might be more like 4.5 years).

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