- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
Let me explain. My car broke down a month ago and I am trying to sell it via Craigslist. For my entire life, I’ve always deferred to my father’s knowledge of cars. Is he a professional mechanic? No but he is still somewhat skilled. I’ve also had his help when it came to buying my last car. Basically, anything that is car or computer related, I go to him for help.
But since I’ve started dating my BF (who is also somewhat skilled with cars), I’ve felt torn as to whose expertise I rely on. Normally, this doesn’t matter since my dad and BF tend to agree on most things.
Except for this dang car! Lately it seems that my BF doesn’t trust my dad when it comes to fixing cars. In fairness though, he feels that way because my dad loaned me his spare car to drive in the meantime and it keeps having issues. My dad looked at it, fixed the problem apparently but the next few days, the issues came up again. And this happened twice. So because of this, BF doesn’t think my dad is that great at fixing cars anymore.
And BF also disagrees with my dad on what to sell it for. For instance, I started the ad at $900 (at my dad’s recommendation) but hoping to get it for $600 or $700.
BF disagreed about starting it off at $900, he thought I would be lucky if I could get $400 or $500 for the car. But I told him that it couldn’t hurt to start it at $900 and see what offers we get. Plus I included in the ad that price was negotiable.
Well the very first day the ad went up, a guy offered $600 for my car. My dad turned it down because it was only the first day and he wanted to see what other offers would come in.
When BF heard about this, he was incredulous. He told me that my dad should have taken that offer and that I wouldn’t get anything better than that. Then he went into a mild spiel about how my dad made a big mistake and now I’d be very lucky if I got anything more than $400.
This was making me uncomfortable because basically, he was criticizing my dad. BF even asked me if my dad was good at negotiating in general. I got a little offended and said “Of course!” BF noticed my defensiveness and apologized. He backed off a little bit but he still makes little comments like “I can’t believe your dad didn’t take that $600 offer” when he’s frustrated.
And since I’m looking to buy a new-to-me car, BF is insisting that he check it out thoroughly himself before I buy it. He doesn’t trust my dad’s judgment completely, it seems.
I just feel torn! I want to defer to my BF because I DO trust his judgment on cars. And also because I can’t help but feel like I would maybe hurt his feelings if I took my dad’s advice over his.
But I also got the impression from my dad that he resents my BF for trying to take over on the whole helping me to buy a car process. Of course, I could be overreactign since my dad hasn’t actually said anything like that but still. And I also trust my dad’s judgment.
Sigh. But whose advice do I take??? Whose judgment do I trust more? My dad’s or my BF’s?
Have you bees ever dealt with a situation like this? How did you handle it?