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We've never needed too, but if we did, we'd go! I think you should go and see what happens. Can't hurt-can only help! :) Hope you get everything worked out!
Thanks, Jenn! I don't want people to think that we have a bad relationship because we don't. :) We are just going through some very big and tough life events right now. We are both stressed and the wedding is also fast approaching.
we actually had to go before our minister would agree to marry us. It was great for us. We didn't have problems to discuss, but we got into some interesting topics that we would not have thought of on our own to discuss. I.E. Where to live in 5 years, where to be buried, what to do if one of us passes away early, what to do if one of us were to lose our jobs,
We haven't needed to but if our relationship was in trouble I would not hesitate to go. I'm entering into this marriage for the long hall and if at any time I feel that we need help in order to continue and grow in our relationship I would seek help. But I also grew up with parents who have been married for 30+ years and did seek counseling during their marriage and I have a double major in psychology so I can see how helpful it can be.
I voted "other" because I did premaritial counseling, but it wasn't because of fighting. Part of it is because we thought it was a really good idea to learn more about each other & part of it was because our church officiant/ venue required premaritial counseling. It was VERY helpful for us. We learned how to communicate to each other, I learned things about my now husband that I had no idea about before & would never think to ask.
I do think that counseling (other than premaritial) can be very very helpful for couples, I don't see anything wrong with it at all! Even if you're not having serious issues, it really helps.
FI and I are currently going now and it has really helped! we're finding that we're putting in more effort with each other (we used to just let the fight in us take over). Plus its good to have that unbiased third part perspective.
FI and I are currently in counseling and it's helped us GREATLY thus far.
We haven't yet but I would like to go sometime in the near future. We aren't having any "problems" per say, but there are issues we could work on. It never hurts to better your relationship :)
I've gone to counseling on my own (before the boy was in the picture) and it is so nice to have someone completely impartial listen to my issues.
I would never judge a couple for going to counseling. In fact, I would think better of them for being proactive/working on their relationship/not just throwing in the towel.
I've never been, but I think they're a great idea!! In theory I would love to go with FI-- not because we have big issues-- because I think that everyone can use a tune up ya know? And what is the worst that can happen.... waste of time?
But I don't know that we'll go because FI is skeptical (he thinks you only go to therapy if you have issues) and because I have no idea where to start looking for a counselor anyways!
FH and I have not been - - - However, I did go w/ my ex. We went for about two months. Short of the long - we lost communication skills and everytime we were trying to communicate it would turn into an arguement. I enjoyed going but then a coule of days later it would be the same thing. I couldn't understand it - - low and behold, my ex had a serious issue with cocaine and yes I was blinded....Thus in the end the counseling didn't work for us - I enjoyed the time we spent the the Dr. though, lol
We haven't been in couples counseling other than with our priest for our wedding, but I think it's really beneficial to those who go through it. I think should my husband and I ever need it, we'd both be more than willing to go through it...especially if it's going to save our marriage. I think it's really beneficial and gets folks communicating with each other more.
We did a form of pre-marital counseling. The first several sessions were devoted to his mom and at the end we did the actual pre-marital counesling.
There is a variety of reasons people attend counseling and one is that it's like their check up for their relationship. You have your car get a check up right? Why not a relationship, then. Don't worry about looking bad to others. They will assume what they want. What is most important in this situation is your relationship, not other peoples opinions.
This is something we chose to do together. We didn't feel we needed it nor were we required to do it, but we felt that we should be proactive and take care of any potential issues before they got worse. We've also discussed and documented a bunch of topics before going to our first session with her (e.g finances, children, work, personal relationships etc). We only had 2 sessions with our counsellor because she felt that we a strong relationship with strong communication skills and didn't see any red flags.
@Babyboo I think you said it best..."Never hurts to better your relationship"!!!
@Jaylii Yep, getting everything out in the open to an unbiased person should help you feel better and give you better perspectives on things and help you communicate better. I think it sounds great!!
I don't think there's anything wrong with couples counseling, and I think it's important to go before you NEED it. It's about maknig your relationship stronger so it won't break, not fixing it once it's broken. I say go- it's the best thing you can do for the future of your relationship and marriage.
Lots of interesting feedback here!
I would love to hear from the people who are voting for "People who go to counseling should not be getting married" That's a completely different perspective.
I think counseling gives you an opportunity to discuss things you may have difficulty bringing up by yourselves. It gives you a third party to help regulate the discussion (so both of you get a chance to speak your piece) and also someone to guide the conversation down a productive path. It also gives you someone to be accountable to (if you agree to do something then the counselor will ask about it in the next session).
FI and I had some issues communicating. Much of it had to do with the fact that he was previously married. He was used to her reacting/dealing(or not dealing!) with problems in a certain way and I deal with things very differently. We went to counseling once a week for 2 months to deal with these problems. Once we could understand each other everything quickly changed for the better. We were engaged about 6 months after we ended counseling.
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Just curious about people's views on this.
FI and I are going through a lot of stressful things right now and I think a few sessions may help us communicate better.