Have you ever had a fight with your SO about the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I thought planning was going to go so smoothly until i realized my FI doesn’t put as much weight on certain aspects of the wedding as I do. We’ve fought about whether or not we should have an outdoor wedding, whether to have the ceremony and the reception in the same place, if we should have a videographer, and a couple other things. I have cried over it, but not because of the fighting. It’s moreso about not being able to get the few things i’ve wanted. it’s more like I’m fighting with the universe, and my FI is just its voice of reason. I’m trying to push through it though. At the end of the day that day, we’ll be married. that’s all that matters. 

Post # 4
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We fought all the time because he just didn’t want the wedding / the whole concept of the party and how much money it takes (even though it isn’t costing him anything other than his time). It sucks. I ultimately ended up getting wedding planners and then forgoing a lot of things I cared about, because I was more concerned with saving the relationship.

Post # 5
Member
3813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Yeah, although it wasn’t full on bawling!  We had a disagreement about the invitations – basically I had designed them completely and he told me he liked them, and a week or so later we were talking about them and he basically said he didn’t like them.  It hurt me that he didn’t tell me right away after I’d put in all that work, but in the end he was totally right and I redid them.

Post # 6
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I did cry at points in the planning, but not because of my husband. I don’t recall any fights… I know we kind of annoyed-ly disagreed on where to rent the tuxes from though. He wanted to use Mens Warehouse because it was the easy option and “good enough”. I was not impressed by the customer service, tux quality, or price, and especially since they didn’t have a tie/vest color anywhere near the bridesmaid dress color. I kind of strong-armed him into going to the other tux chain in our area, and we were both generally happy with how they turned out. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We just had a fight this week about how he’s been unhelpful, forgetful, a procrastinator, and quick to put down my decisions simply because he doesn’t understand etiquette. I cried out of frustration, he shut down and refused to talk to me, and I’m ashamed to admit I resorted to cussing (not AT him, though). 

It was all worth it, though it was not either of our finest hours, because we realized we weren’t fighting about the wedding, but about our communication issues in general.

I actually almost posted here on the emotional board asking advice on how to compromise, but I decided not to. I hashed it out with him, and I’m glad I trusted us to just figure it out on our own. Good practice for the future 🙂

Post # 10
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@fzesguer:  OMG I had the same exact fight!!! His family is a alot more laid back and untraditional where as mine is so uptight and traiditonal that with alot of the traditional things with the wedding he’s like “thats unnecessary”. Also the fact that some of his family still hasn’t gotten invtes since he never found all of their addresses which i aske him for in January and doesn’t understand that it’s not ok to drive from bar to bar to drop off invites. 

Post # 11
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We luckily have not had any fights so far, I think because the day we got engaged we agreed that if the wedding turned into something no longer fun, we would go to the courthouse that day and call the whole thing off. We both shook on it and have stuck by it. There have been elements that could have really stressed me out (and started to) and we have either dropped them all together or abandoned them for the time being in lieu of letting fate take it’s course. I think we are both just so excited to be able to call each other husband and wife that everything else is just a bunch of… Bs honestly. We throw big parties all the time- Oct 12 is a day we chose to celebrate our union and future together, not the be all, end all of our lives as a couple. 

 

Im sure I’ll become more frantic as the day approaches but honestly the whole process has been really relaxed so far. I feel a little guilty that I’m NOT freaking out about everything! 

Post # 12
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@shootznladrz89:  OMG are we marrying the same man?! The fight was precisely about him not getting me all the addresses from his family/friends. Stupidly, I said, “Well, I guess they’re not getting Save the Dates or invitations! These people are disinvited, and you can deal with the drama yourself.” He called my bluff. That’s when I lost it. I was like, seriously?!?!?!

Oh, and “that’s unnecessary” — that drives me crazy! He knows nothing about weddings, and here I am spending hours researching things or planning certain details meticulously, and those two words insult all the effort I put into everything. I know that probably makes me sound like a Bridezilla, but I’m not; you have to understand that he only says “that’s unnecessary” when it involves him helping me in some way. He’s such a lazy bum, lol.

Post # 13
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@fzesguer:  I know exactly what you mean!! I’ve given up on consulting on him or asking him to do something. Im at the point where its since you can’t seem to get anything done in a reasonable time frame, I’m going to do everything and you don’t get to complain

Post # 14
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eh, the wedding just isn’t a point of contention for us. With all our offbeat stuff it’s more like us against the world… haha. We had a little disagreement about the invitation look and a couple small things but no real fights. All easily remedied.

Post # 15
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t know how people who are engaged stay together when planning a wedding. Uh, yeah we fought.

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