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I heard the song Every Breath You Take by the Police on the radio today. It reminded me of an interview with Sting I once read about how people who don't understand what the song is really about have used it as a wedding song.
Have you ever been to a wedding, heard a song, and thought, "What were they thinking?" I can remember going to an aunt's wedding where, during the ceremony, a soloist sang "We've Only Just Begun." The problem? The bride was in her late 40s, the groom in his 50s...and it was his FIFTH marriage. It did cause a few giggles right in the church...of course, then I felt bad for her. I HOPE she didn't notice.
I don't remember anyone choosing an inappropriate significant song (eg first dance, ceremony etc.) Hwever, I was at a wedding where the DJ had no discretion when it came to songs he played at the reception. I remember TLC "No Scrubs", and Kate Perry "Hot n cold". Was a very weird mix. Baaaadddd choice of DJ!
No. I have attended weddings where there was music that people online say is inappropriate under any circumstances. But the guests in attendance had nothing bad to say about it, even in private. What some people fail to realize is that if you want danceable music, you're going to have to make exceptions with questionable lyrics. If someone chooses to play "Hot And Cold" by Katy Perry for example, they are in no way suggesting that you actually live your life that way. It's entertainment, pure and simple. If you screen every single song to make sure it fits your idea of love and marriage, you're better off not having any dancing but just hire an instrumental group. It's unrealistic and impossible to be that nitpicky and your guests be able to enjoy the music. No matter what you choose, someone will be offended. They simply don't have to dance to songs they have objections to.
I was a bit surprised when non-censored versions of songs were played at a reception. I mean it doesn't bug me at all when i'm listening to music on my own. But it was kinda weird to be dancing with grandparents to it! Simple mistake i'm sure :)
I still smile thinking about my 60-something year old aunts dancing to Low by Flo Rida at my cousin's reception. Not that it's inappropriate, but it was a bit unexpected to see them all going all the way down to the floor and back up. I can only hope I can still do that at their age!
I think In My Life by the Beatles is an inappropriate song for parent dances - I find it creepy. You just got married to someone else and you are for all intents and purposes telling your guests that in your life, there's someone else you loved most, and it's your mom. I don't know, I just don't get it. Same with brown eyed girl for father/daughter dance - I love the song and wish I could use it, but references to 'behind the stadium' are just weird.
There are songs that are very popular for father/daughter dances that are too intimate for such a dance, and that is inappropriate because it is describing feelings that a father and daughter should not have for each other. In addition, several popular first dance songs are really breakup songs, but since they have 'love' in the title, people insist that they are really love songs and refuse to believe anything else. Those situations would be considered inappropriate as far as music is concerned. The other examples described by pp's are not. There's nothing wrong with certain songs being played but apart from the first dance and father/daughter dance, it's fair game as long as your guests are enjoying themselves and no one is taking themselves seriously. On the same token, I could see how some of the above listed songs (Hot and Cold or Low for example) would be viewed as inappropriate if you were having a dance reception in a religious setting - and yes many Christians do dance because the Bible says God is happy with it - because there wouldn't be anything left of the song once it's edited down and they go against Christian principles, but that doesn't mean that a church reception is limited to Christian music only, nor do all Christians listen to only Christian music. Not saying that situation applies to the OP but it may to someone else. Either way, you have to take your guests into account and ask yourself if they would be offended in any way by the music played. If they wouldn't, feel free to play whatever.
I think that using The Cure's 'Just Like Heaven' in any of the significant songs is really unsettling. Hello, have you listened to the lyrics? Not like it sounds particularly jubilant either, but if you pay ANY attention to what's being sung, it's depressing and dark and about a love that can't be had for some reason, or some fantasy of a love that never was, or SOMETHING. It's clearly NOT about a happy couple joining to spend the rest of their life together blissfully...
I've heard a few, but we're hoping to get a wedding band that can act like a cheesey wedding band for a few songs and make every think... did they really just say that? ala the hangover's wedding band.
For the spotlight dances, very few if any guests are paying attention, much less analyzing the lyrics. If you like the song, then use it, otherwise don't. If you boycott every single song due to its lyrics, you won't have many choices left to dance to.
If you like Brown Eyed Girl, I found a good a capella version of it. Type BOCA 2009 Brown Eyed Girl into iTunes - they slowed it down too to make it more of a slow dance. If we use it, I will cut out the third verse, which I don't think is really applicable either.
I selected every song on our playlist for this reason. our dj had all sorts of breakup songs and one about cheating. uuummm no.
Maybe guests aren't "analyzing" the lyrics as the dance is going on, but if they catch an inapropriate phrase being sung, or, if it's a popular song that most people know the lyrics to and thus know it is clearly not situation-appropriate, it can be really uncomfortable/awkward/unnerving/whatever.
I was at a wedding where the soloist was singing The Hawaiian Wedding Song (look it up on youtube...it's an oldie and very pretty). The woman singing sang up to a high part of the song, started coughing, looked at the congregation, said "Sorry!" And sat down. I couldn't believe it! It was a rural wedding in a grange hall, but still...
i think the first dance and the song for the dance with parents should be picked for music and lyrics, but the rest of the reception should be fun and the music should make people want to dance..
I've never heard a song at a wedding that was *totally* inappropriate. But there were definitely some I didn't want at my own wedding--great at clubs, less great with grandma. We screened spotlight songs for lyrics or played instrumental versions, but I didn't pay too much attention for the dance music, just as long as it wasn't overtly negative or excessively sexual.
FBIL and his mom danced to "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. I thought that was way awkward and definitely saw people looking kinda funny.
We were at a wedding this weekend and had this very same discussion when one of the girls mentioned that the DJ played "The First Cut is the Deepest" during their cake cutting. Hilarious but horrible!
We had a spot on our RSVP for people to request songs and some of them are questionable and not really "wedding" music, but they are great dance songs and = party so they will likely get played. There comes a time in the night, atleast with my friends and family, where you just want to dance and some great dance songs may make my grandma blush a little bit, but really it's about getting the crowd out there shaking it!
I like the song request on invites idea, ladyox! We're going to have a wide variety of music tastes at our wedding and I was wondering how we might ensure that everyone will be satisfied. First I was planning to write a private note and just tag all our invited guests on facebook, but then I realized that'd exclude the majority of people coming. Then I considered adding it to our website (which I still might do), but some people aren't so tech-savvy. But I think adding an invite insert where they can write in some song requests is a great idea!
Sorry for off-topic post, just had to say that, heh.
I'm one of those people who really listens to the lyrics, so I'm always smirking when a song with lyrics innapropriate to the situation comes on. "Every Breath You Take" is a reoccuring one for sure.
But generally, I am just not a fan of explicit lyrics until only the young people are left. I have an after 11 list. But then again, I have a specific playlist for each hour of the 6 hour reception, so I'm kind of crazy like that.
It really bothers me when people play "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" for a love song or at a wedding. It's about breaking up people! Listen to the words and not the violin solo!
Luckily my family (including my 90 year old grandmother) is fine with music of any way shape or form, sure we're probably going to skip the EZE but we might throw in a snoop song or two. It's a very big part of our wedding considering that's how my FI makes his living. We will make an announcement before the music starts that the music was picked as music that we like not whether or not its appropriate for a wedding. Music is art and for the most part the majority of the songwriters you talk to will tell you that their song while it might have been written about something specific is open to interpretation, that's kind of the point. Music can reach a variety of different people in different ways for different reasons. I say if you hear something in a song embrace it and don't let anyone change your mind about it. And yes the reality is is you censor your entire music list you're gunna be missing out on some pretty awesome songs!
I don't really have an objection to any song that I can think of right now. I actually think it'd be kinda funny if Prodigy started pumping through the speakers during our reception. I know even a few of my Uncles & Aunts would get a good chuckle.
FI's a little more conservative than me. He's already ruled out Sat n' Pepa's "Push It" or Biggie's "Juicy".
The song Push it..
I was at a wording and heard it.. and FH and I lost it laughing. There were many strange looks when that song came on.
Yes, I went to a wedding where the couple's first dance was to "Pictures of You" by the Cure. Now, I LOVE that song, but it's a song about reminiscing about a failed relationship.
Hmm... I don't think there's anything wrong with playing a non wedding song for the sake of some good dancing. However, like someone said, you might not want to dance to "Push It" (or whatever) with your grandma. Or, maybe you would! It would be funny.
I remember a family wedding years ago, and they played Tootsie Roll. There were two young girls doing an exaggerated Tootsie Roll dance on the dance floor, and it was the scandal of the day! I believe they both ended up pregnant one or two years later. :( (They were like 11 and 13 or something).
We are including some Michael Jackson songs, and my favorites, like "Wanna be startin' somethin'," are not wedding-y songs. but I love to dance to them!
We are doing an iPod reception, because I dislike DJs and will not stand for music with sexual or violent themes in it. I'm less concerned about songs that might be about a break up, as I am songs with swearing, and sex. Call me conservative, but I am struggling to make sure that our songs are appropriate for kids and grandparents alike. I don't think that for the sake of dancing or entertainment, you need to allow music you find inappropriate.
I also have a pet peeve for songs that are clearly not father/daughter songs being used for the F/D dance.
I always find Gloria Gaynor's "I will survive" and the Weather Girl's "It's Raining Men" inappropriate for weddings...
This is why I'm glad we're not having a DJ--just picking all the music ourselves and burning some CDs. ;) I agree that "Every Breath You Take" is one of the creepiest damn songs ever, though.
Yes! At my own wedding! DH really wanted to add Nelly's "Hot in Herre" (kinda inappropriate) and John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland" (just creepy at a wedding) to the playlist. In the end I relented as everyone was at least 4-5 drinks in and unfazed.
We finished our playlist this weekend, and we are in love with it! Since we view our wedding as a party where there will be a wedding, we chose many of the same songs we play when we have all of our friends over and picked songs we know people will dance to. It is Halloween so there are also several Halloween songs. I am certain some people would view many songs as inappropriate, and we are also certain our great aunts will not be partaking in "push it" or other rap songs we have included (both 90s and modern) that we have. But it is OUR wedding, where we want to dance to the songs we like and our friends like, not be forced into songs we don't like just because they are wedding-y or "appropriate"
I was at a wedding where the first dance was "Time to Say Goodbye" sung by Andre Bocelli. I thought that was sad for the first song! I LOVE that song, but I thought it was odd for a first dance. Nobody else seemed to notice however, I figure I must have been over analyzing because I have an English degree and analyzing was all I did for 4 years haha!!
Buck Cherry, "Crazy B!tch" at my FBIL's wedding. It was a really trashy wedding so it fit right in, but oh God was it awkward. FMIL was singing along. My SO is a doll but his family is WEIRD.
My best friend wanted the bridal party to walk in to Billy Idol's "White Wedding" before her mother reminded her of what it's about.
I recently attended a wedding where the DJ played "Rude Girl by Rihanna. I made sure NOT to hire that DJ
A friend and her husband walked into "18 to Life" by Skid Row. They did it as a goof and lots of people thought it was funny.
When we were picking out songs off of a "commonly played" list from our DJ (who only plays weddings) we were both tickled to see that "Me So Horny" by 2 Live Crew was on there.
We giggled for days about that. Seriously?
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