(Closed) Have you ever received an invitation addressed JUST to DH???

posted 6 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Is it rude to send an invitation excluding a spouse?
    Yes : (25 votes)
    96 %
    No : (1 votes)
    4 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9631 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It does seem odd.  However, it’s possible that the person who sent it didn’t intend to exclude you, maybe it was just a mistake or an oversight.  I think I’d be calling (or have your DH call) to ask what’s up with that.  Just doesn’t seem right (unless you’ve had a falling out with them in the past – ??).  Otherwise it might just be a screw up.

    Post # 4
    Member
    962 posts
    Busy bee

    In my opinion, I think the reason your poll is 50-50 is that your post question and your poll question are different. Have I ever received an invite addressed only to my SO? No Is it rude to only address the invite to the husband? Yes. Sorry, but I find it pretty rude. I misvoted because I got confused by the two different questions.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @doxielove:  It does seem really weird, but I would probably have him call his mom to ask about it. Maybe she didn’t realize you hadn’t been invited?

    Post # 7
    Member
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Please double check– my best friend was horrified when he found out that I thought my now FI wasn’t invited. He was hurt that my now-FI declined and was horrified when I explained he didn’t decline, he just wasn’t invited. His name wasn’t on the invite and there was no plus one. They thought I knew to bring him (there was no way I was going to) and were embarassed.

    We also got a save the date this week that is only my FI’s name. I don’t want to assume I am invited, but then again, I find it really hard to believe if I am not. Sometimes a quick clarifying phone call helps.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    Are you sure that the party in question knows that your DH is married?  If it is the daughter of your MIL’s best friend, it’s very possible that they are on the list just because they are family friends.  Unless you know and have met the bride, maybe she doesn’t know that DH is married?  Or maybe their guest list is limited so including your DH as a part of his family is simply an etiquette thing?

    Don’t get me wrong, I do think it is rude to send an invitation to just one person and not a spouse, but maybe it is a mistake or maybe space is limited.  Have your DH call (or have your DH call your MIL call her best friend…) and see if it’s alright for him to add another person to their guest list.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I’d be miffed, too, but I would have DH check with his Mom. I’m working on our invites right now, and I can see how mistakes could easily get made.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    @doxielove:  Oops!  Sorry, confused the abbreviations… that makes it a little less likely it’s a mistake.. I would still call.

    Post # 14
    Member
    696 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    oops sorry I mis-voted too..looked at the question in the title on voted on that! Yes I think that is rude

    Post # 15
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    This happened to us a few months back. An invitation came only to FH (we had been engaged for a few months at this point) for the wedding of a guy we went to school with. They were pretty close in school, but because I hung around in that group too, I would call myself a casual friend of the groom. We were confused and very politely contacted the groom, and he said I could come, but made it very clear that it was not an oversight and I was only allowed to come because we were engaged and asked him about it. Made me feel pretty crappy.

    What happened to you could very honestly be a mistake, so I would double check with the appropriate people. I hope you get it figured out!

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