Have you ever seen someone turned away because they brought a child

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@skippydarling:  If I were you I would discuss this with them rather than leave it alone and allow for a possibly very uncomfortable situation on your wedding day. Maybe offer to hire a sitter for all of the children? It’s also a good way to approach the topic- “hey, I was wondering what you were doing with the kids durring the wedding? Because FI also has some younger children on his side of the family, so I was thinking it might be fun if they all got to play together! I’ll hire a sitter for the evening so you don’t have to worry about it.”

Post # 4
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

I would certainly turn them away politely.  Though I would only use that as a last resort.

I would first do as @KoalaWalla:  suggested and see what they were planning on doing, and reinforce at that time, that children were not invited and would not be accomodated.

If that failed I would let them know that unfortunately, little Sally cannot be accomodated, and that I hoped I could see them some other time.

But I would also be prepared for any fallout.  People who are such boors that they will bring a child to an event they know the child isn’t invited to, aren’t exactly the type to recognize that THEY were in the wrong, and are likely to think that you are just being mean.  Personally, I have no time for those sorts in my life, and would happy to cut them out.

Post # 6
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

arrgghh! Family drama is the worst! My SO has one of those dramatic grudge holding families so I can totally relate.

Another thought is to pass the blame off. Maybe you could tell the guy that while you sure do love his kids, unfortunately your venues policy on this type of event is adults only. In my experience these types of people use ANY excuse to get worked up, so if it “has nothing to do with you” and is “just venue policy” he can’t really get angry at you (unless he decides to blame you for your choice in venue.. in which case, what a psycho.)

Post # 8
Member
6200 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@skippydarling:  You said you invited him, but are you sure he’s even coming?

Post # 10
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@KoalaWalla:  good suggestion.

 

@skippydarling:  your wedding is over a year away.  i wouldn’t bother worrying about it until closer to the wedding date (when invites are going out).  why dwell on something for a whole year when you don’t have to?  you’re adding too much stress to the planning process.

Post # 12
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@skippydarling:  oh, it’s not the correct date.  well, i would definitely talk to the individual(s) that you are concerned with and offer child care if possible.  what more can you do?

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