Post # 1
One of my friends likes to say that she waited eight years for her husband to propose. Whenever she says that, I always think, "But you took a break!!" One summer she broke things off to get some space… and even dated during that time! But they got back together after a few months, and were together again until they got married.
I think breaks are more common than we think in relationships, but I could be wrong. So I was wondering: how you ever taken a break in your current relationship? How long was it – and was it ultimately good for you guys?
Post # 3
We definitely took a "break" … but it wasn’t a break, it was a break up!
We dated briefly (three months) long distance and it just wasn’t working. We were both very much in "college" mode of partying and drinking and just having a grand old time that the long distance relationship wasn’t worth it to us. So we broke up, not ever intending to get back together. Two years after the break up we had a moment (spent a day together that ended with a kiss) … but I was still in "college" and he was graduated. He wanted to try to date again but I was not looking for a serious relationship at all!
Throughout this time and for about a year after that day we dated other people but kept in great touch, never with the intention of getting together again … until one day everything just clicked … and we’ve been together ever since. So we def don’t call it a break … but we do recognize that we dated before and it was definitely good for us because we were so close when we started to officially date that made everything so much easier!
Post # 4
Nope. But we had one disagreement. It lasted about a day and a half. I almost took one though.
Post # 5
FI and I met, were fairly close friends quickly for about five months. Then, we just didn’t talk for about 8 years until we reconnected. But, we’ve never taken a break in the year and a half we’ve been together. I think we found each other again at the right time and in the right place in our lives to be good for ourselves and each other.
Post # 6
Yes we did take a break…actually a couple. We started out as friends with benefits (which I don’t recommend) after both getting out of serious relationships where we both were cheated on. He wasn’t ready for a relationship but by that time (about a year into our "benefits") I knew this was it. It scared the hell out of him, and so he distanced himself. We were off and on for about a year but were still committed to each other. Then I had finally had enough of the back and forth and told him that if he didn’t get his act together and get serious with me I was done. No point in staying in this relationship if you don’t feel the same way I do. So I walked away. It took a total of 2 days for him to call me up and ask me to come over. He cried (we did a lot fo that in the beginning) and told he that he was ready. It took some getting used to, but once I walked away for good he realized that he couldn’t let me go. He poured his heart out to me and told me he was ready to commmit – for good. After that it took a year to get the ring (which was fine with me, I knew it would happen eventually and actually wasn’t expecting it when it happened) and we’ll be together for almost 5 1/2 years when we get married.
I still count the one and off time because that was probably the worst time of our relationship, but it taught us that we could endure anything. I trust him with my life and he has proved to me over and over again that he deserves that trust. I think that sometimes you need that break or rough transition period and go thru hell to get to the good. It really shows you the true side of that person and you build a bond that is much stronger.
Great post Mr Bee
Post # 7
We took a week long "break" after 2 years of dating. We were long distance, it was tough and I felt he was being selfish. The break only lasted a week and we have been break-free (6 more years) since!
Post # 8
Yes, we took a "break!" About a month into our relationship, we were already head over heels, but I found out that he had only broken up with his previous girlfriend a few hours before we first met!
I wasn’t mad, but I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t his "rebound girl." We only lasted a weekapart.
Post # 9
Oh god yes, we’ve definitely taken a break. We both come from divorced families, with all the attendant issues that that entails. I struggled with severe commitment issues, whereas he struggled very badly with trust. I broke up with him on three seperate occasions. The first lasted about 3 hours, the second more like 3 weeks, and the third 3 months. Tho I feel bad for the pain I know it caused him, I don’t regret it. We both know how it feels to be apart, and are more secure in our love because of it. I knew getting back together with him the last time that this was IT. I couldn’t put us through another break up, so if I got back together I was commiting to spending the rest of my life with him. We got back together, and I don’t regret it for a second!
We do say that we’ve been together 4 1/2 years, even tho we broke up several times. Also, we didn’t "officially" start dating until almost a year after we met and started the friends-with-benefits and kind of half dating thing. So if we added up the actual time we’ve been officially together, it’d probably be less than 3 years. But we feel that we were together in some sense the entire time, and don’t feel like we’re lying to say we’ve been together almost since the day we met.
Post # 10
no breaks! I told my boyfriend [now fiance] 2 weeks into our relationship that I was not a "break" type of a girl. If we thought we needed a break, I would be done for good, and not look back. He felt the same way!
We’ve never been mad at eachother for more than a few hours….even with being long-distance (thus, harder to work things out over the phone). I don’t plan on any breaks in the future.
Post # 11
i guess ive got a long one. we started dating at 16 (actually he was 15–i drove!) and at 21 we had to move to different cities for school. we took a break for exactly 1 year and have been back together for 1 1/2 years (6 total). sometimes a wish it hadnt happened but i know we are better for it.
Post # 12
Nope, no breaks. We are both super laid back and don’t let things bother us. I also think it helps that we are both older-me 32, him 39, so we are over that drama of young love and have learned how to communicate in a relationship. Not to say we haven’t had our little tifs, we are human, but we deal with the small things before they turn into big things.
Post # 14
no, but there are a couple of times we nearly did, back near the beginning of our relationship when we were younger and not as mature about communicating. in retrospect, i think a brief break probably would have been a good thing for us, but i was always too much of a wimp to take it that far. anyway, we’ve gotten past that stage of our relationship now obviously =), so it all turned out okay!
Post # 15
Not really. We went on our first date and I said it would never work, he didn’t listen. We became really good friends and became official about 4/5 months later. We don’t count our first date as the start of our relationship because we weren’t really dating until March.
Post # 16
Yes. We met when we were 19, and dated for two years. Right after I graduated (I graduated college early and before he did), he freaked out. We took a two-week break because he needed to decide if I was the "end-all-be-all" or if he wanted to date other people.
He called me every day, and ended up leaving me a message two weeks later saying he was really sorry, and he realized I was what he wanted 🙂