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So was I the only one who never heard this before? "(As a guest)....the only color we should stay away from these days is red. Red is a powerful color that draws the eyes."
This isn't in regard to a different culture. This is in regard to simply wearing a color that will draw attention away from the bride. I can understand it some, But is this a little out of control? I can understand someone being "shamed" for wearing something outrageous for the purpose of trying to shift the center of attention to themselves, away from the bride. (Some people are like that.) But making a blanket statement about red? I don't think a plain red cocktail dress, (or non-bridy white dress, for that matter) could really take away from who the center of attention is... Besides, outside of certain moments, ceremony, first dance, cutting the cake etc,.. I didn't expect my guests to sit there and stare at me all night. 
Just wondered who knew about "red" and how you feel.
No idea! I like vibrant colors and think all of these rules are silly (with, perhaps the exception of wearing white to another's wedding). Unless you know the bride is waering red, go for it!
I've never heard that one before. The only "rule" I follow is not wearing white. I'd wear red, and I especially love wearing black - I think it's so elegant.
I went to a wedding and the girl who sat next to me at the reception (who I'm now very good friends with ironically) wore a tight, strapless red dress with some black lace under the bust. I won't lie, I was a little shocked by it. Especially since this was just a date of a friend of the couple. Now that I know her, I know she would never mean any harm by it and it certainly didn't take anything away from the bride (side note: another girl did wear white to this same wedding. Bride noticed and was less than enthused.)
Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing a really flashy dress to a wedding. I suppose it all depends on the situaion. Eventually I think more things will become acceptable. People used to (and some probably still do) think that wearing black to a wedding is bad.
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I wore red to a wedding last summer and no one said a thing to me, nor did I feel like anyone was staring at me as opposed to the bride, though I would say it was pretty conservative. I did see on one of those bridal tv shows, where someone's mom was wearing a low cut long stain red dress to steal the daughters thunder. She had the attitude to match it and was always doing something dramatic. So ok maybe if it's red and dramatic, but any bright dramatic dress is going to be an eye catcher. I think red is fine, unless you are wearing it to purposely steal someone's thunder and in that case you'll probably be eye catching no matter what you wear.
I think that part of it is seen as your distaste in the couple as in wearing black or white to a wedding is a big no no. I had heard this and while I don't wear red, just doesn't suit me, I know that in pictures it can distract if it is vibrant red. If you are wearing it because it is a color that looks good on you and you aren't wearing it to take anything away from the bride it won't really hurt. If you aren't sure ask the bride.
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That is a really weird idea. I've never heard it before!
I wore red to my cousin's formal New Years Eve wedding last year, and I thought I looked great! No one stared, no one said, "Hey, who's that girl wearing red?" during important moments, or ANY moments for that matter. It was just a great dress at a great event. Completely appropriate.
In my opinion, everyone's attention is going to be on the bride no matter what. Wear any color you like (beside's white. That is one I agree with)!
I think it depends on cultural issues too. I've always been told for a Chinese wedding you should wear along the lines of red/pink and avoid black, but for non-Chinese weddings black is actually considered more formal & respectful.
Yup!! So the only rule I really follow is no white.
I wore a strapless red gown as a date when I was maybe 18, and I wasnt the only one at the wedding in red. Guess it was a popular color that year! I am more concerned about the stores carrying so much ivory this year- and hope guests dont show up in ivory/white gowns to mine.
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Interesting! I wore a darker shade of red to my fiance's sister's wedding a few years back, and there always seems to be a few guests in red. I had never heard red was a no go color. Sparkles and sequins, definitely no, LOL. Granted, I think if you wore anything tight and strapless it'd be noticed! haha. But not in a good way. Red can be done tactfully for sure! Then again, you could argue colors like bright blue or yellow stand out, too. I think red is classy...my mom is wearing red to my wedding! 
Doesn't some of this make you wonder, who is deciding what is etiquette? And how do people exactly find out about it? Here, there are some experts saying white is fine. But certainly from these boards lots of people are still adament about not wearing white. (So how did they decide it's somehow fine now?)
While somehow red has crept in as a no-no, and no one has really heard of it. And what if red is looks nice on someone or is their favorite color?
Never heard of it before.
I once was a bridesmaid and then hosted the reception at my home. It was very elegant and at the reception, I changed out of the uncomfortable b'maid dress and into a silk red dress b/c it was cute and very comfortable and since I was hostess, I was running around helping out the caterer and such and making sure all was right for the bride and groom both of which were my close friends.
Trust me, the eyes are ALWAYS on the bride and groom and attendants but emphasis on Bride and Groom.
I have innocently wore red to someones birthday party- but never a wedding. Same thing though- there to celebrate someone else. I just had a cute red strapless cocktail dress in my closet that I hadn't worn in forever and decided to wear it- I wasn't considering all the stares and attention I would get and it made me feel embarrased because I wasn't the birthday girl and am not the type to cry for attention.
Learned my lesson though and wouldn't recommend anyone doing it
When my mom and FMIL asked me if I had any guidelines for what they should wear, I told them no black, white (or off white or diamond white or ivory or champagne or mother of pearl or ecru) and no red. Black and white should be obvious, but I didn't want them to wear red because the bridesmaids will be wearing very neutral tones and our venue is very neutral, and red would 1) clash and 2) draw the eye away from all the more subdued colors.
my mom wore a red flowy silky short dress to my wedding and she looked FAB!
I think some people get overinvolved in directing the entire look of the wedding, right down to what the guests are wearing, and that is the provenance of these color "rules." I am not talking about those weddings where they say "all guests wear white" because it's a themed wedding, but just when brides get bent out of shape about someone "stealing their thunder."
The rule as a guest should be to look nice and tasteful when you go to a wedding, appropriate to the occasion. If someone shows up in a dress that looks more like it belongs in a nightclub or strip club than at a wedding, it is going to draw attention because it is inappropriate attire, no matter what color it is (though if it's red that's really driving the point home, because of the associations we have with red and sexual things). But I don't think guests should be shy to wear any color to a wedding so long as the garment itself is tasteful.
I'm struggling with this very question for my future brother-in-law's wedding this weekend. I'd like to wear a nice red dress I bought from Ann Taylor Loft a year or two ago (I mentioned the store name so you can imagine how conservative it is). I think I might not do it thought just because I do not want even ONE person questioning it.
I think most of these "rules" were probably started by crazy Bridezilla's to control every aspect of their wedding. They tell somebody that they "heard" it was rude to wear a certain color, then somebody asks on a board like this, then the people reading comment to the RL friends and now you have a "rule". About the only color I won't wear to a wedding is white. I say anything else goes these days. Now, I think a tight, red, strapless number might be a little much, but tasteful red is fine.
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Red is an auspicious color among most south asians. In certain parts of India, the bride is decked out in red. I've heard don't wear white to non-Hindu weddings and Hindu weddings. In the Hindu culture, one wears white to funerals. Additionally, try getting Indian food out of white clothing! Turmuric leaves an everlasting stain! Also, black is a no-no because it's an inauspicious color - bad luck, ill spirits, evil eye, bad joo joo, etc. Other than that, I don't know of any color contraints. Generally the brighter, the better...
yep i've worn a red dress to a wedding.... never heard of that as a faux pas.. i wasn't the only guest wearing red either. i agree with all posts above that the only color i've never worn was white.
I've worn red twice...as a bridesmaid :) But I figure if the brides didn't mind having a group of girls in red standing next to her in her formals, it's hard to imagine that having a random guest in red could be a problem. I agree with many of the above posters that it probably has more to do with taste. But you could wear a short and slinky green dress and look inappropriate as well.
And yes, red is an auspicious color in India, and traditionally a bridal color. but there is no admonition against other guests wearing it. I think the no white thing is pretty silly myself, though...unless someone shows up in their own wedding dress or something. So maybe I'm not the best judge.
I wore my MOH dress to another wedding that season - it was a pretty flaming red. But it was not revealing or inappropriate, and no one noticed or cared. Ah, the country! Many people were there in jeans and a button down!
When people asked if there was anything that they shouldn't wear to our wedding, I thought they were crazy. Who am I to dictate the clothing of my guests? My mom wore a strapless bright red dress and looked classy and wonderful. Many wore red, and many more wore black dresses, just like the bridesmaids, so you couldn't even tell who was a bridesmaid! I agree with Mrs. Bee in that it shouldn't matter the color (this is non-inclusive of religious/cultural standpoints), just the overall look of the garment. Be classy!
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i wore a red flowy dress to a wedding and felt out of place. everyone else was wearing soft, pastel dresses. i felt like i stood out but no one said anything, or looked at me weird.
I've heard that you can't wear white, black, or red to a wedding. And I think it's ridiculous! What is this obsession that we have with not taking an ounce of attention away from the bride? Seriously - when you have a party full of women in cocktail dresses or even sun dresses and one woman in a big white bedazzeled ball gown how could you possibly take attention away from the bride?
And I think that the idea that a little black dress is morbid is also just silly.
I'm with you ladies - As long as guests wear attire that is appropriate for the formality of the event I don't think anyone should have any complaints. I'd want my guests to feel sassy and fabulous in whatever dress makes them feel beautiful.
Hello!! Chinese weddings, anyone??
Red is a very lucky and traditional wedding color for Chinese people and I believe Indian culture, too.
All these rules are silly and I think completely USELESS now that society is a mix of many cultures. Unless you wear the exact wedding dress the bride is wearing I think anything goes.
My bridesmaids are wearing red and this botheres some people-just because they say "well that will take the attention away from you". I'm like, uh...I'm not in high school. I think people who are overly concerned with that have never gotten an ounce of attention in their lives-I can handle someone admiring a guest(or her dress) at my wedding. Besides, people don't sit around and stare at the bride all night. They ooooh and aaaaahhh at the beginning, but that is pretty much it. I've also been to weddings where the bride looked like a hot mess and ALL of the lady guests looked better -red or no red.
I think for the Chinese culture, the bride, her family and the groom's family would prefer that no guests wear a red dress. I know this because I was told by my future brother in law when he was about to get married that "u can't wear red, ok?! Red is reserved for the bride, coz her chinese dress is red. U can't match her." My friend who attended her friend's wedding got in so much trouble with her bride friend when she showed up wearing a red dress. My friend was vietnamese (so was her friend) but even my friend didn't know about that "rule"...I've been telling my family not to wear red for my upcoming wedding so that they don't get the evil look by very traditional chinese family members/friends of my fiance.
Hmm..I've worn red before as wedding guest. Was this faux pas of me? I just thought that the fashion no-no was wearing "white."
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I had never heard of this, i.e. not wearing red, but my FMIL believes in it.
No. and I wouldn't- it's too close to the "Whores and children wear red shoes" and "Like a whore in church" lines for me to consider it.
I have worn red to a wedding, never heard that rule! I might avoid red from now on though. I try to be sensitive to this kind of stuff. Once, I wore a realllllly dressy dress to a wedding- backless, silk, long. However before I did I made sure (by asking the B&G multiple times) that it would be appropriate to wear such a formal dress to their wedding. They insisted that I dress up and wear the dress! As it turned out, it was the nicest wedding I've ever been to, extremely over-the-top, and I'm glad I got to wear it there...but I wouldn't wear it to another wedding. At least, not without asking.
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I would NEVER wear red to a wedding. I was taught that it meant something along the lines of, "I hope to break up your marriage."
While I think that's more than a bit old fashioned, I keep red out of my wedding wardrobe to avoid offending people who still believe it to be true.
I don't think wearing red in general is an issue...unless it is maybe Jessica Rabbit Red dress...I might be a little peeved if someone showed up like that.
The only people I have asked not to wear red are my mother and future mother in law and grandmothers--but that's because I don't want them to clash with the bridesmaids who are in a bordeux-dark red color.
Thats really the only time I can think of asking someone not to wear a color like red, and thats just for the benefit of wedding party pictures which they are usually totally cool with.
But I have to admit...I know a few girls who would flip if someone wore red to their weddings cause they would view it as a "show stealer" I think thats being over sensative and insecure tho.
Most of those rules make me a little crazy. I've worn black to a wedding (and looked adorable, and lots of people said they liked it--I wore bright turquoise shoes and wrap and a blue chiffon JCrew flower behind my ear). I haven't worn red. And I wore white (well, it had a blue design on it) to a rehearsal dinner.
I think it's all in the spirit of how you wear it. I would never DREAM of taking attention away from the bride, especially not with something low-cut or attention-grabbing. If red's out, lime green or yellow or fuschia or anything bright would be off-limits, too, which is just plain silly.
So, I think you just need to be careful, no matter what color you wear. Which really means wear whatever color you want!
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Wow, never heard of that before...I've only heard the "don't wear white" rule. I've seen people in red dresses at weddings though, and I never noticed that they stood out more than other guests. Now if they were wearing white, that'd be different.
Nope, never heard of the no-red rule. One of our guests wore a red dress - she's also my husband's ex-girlfriend. Turns out it was a very unforgiving bias cut dress that was not at all flattering on her.
Honestly, I couldn't have told you what color dress anyone was wearing until I looked at the photos afterward.
I agree with Urbanleo...if red is going to be out then fuchsia and lime green and other bright colors would have to be out too. Then what would be left?
I think maybe it is more the cut that matters? Maybe red dresses tend to be thought of as more sexy or revealing?
These social rules evolve so fast these days!
I think the "no red" thing probably comes from the fact that red is considered a "sexy" color, but if the dress is tasteful then I say - why not? I abide by the no white/ivory rule, but have no issue with black. Everyone focuses on the bride no matter what, especially her new husband 
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