Post # 1
So was I the only one who never heard this before? "(As a guest)….the only color we should stay away from these days is red. Red is a powerful color that draws the eyes."
This isn’t in regard to a different culture. This is in regard to simply wearing a color that will draw attention away from the bride. I can understand it some, But is this a little out of control? I can understand someone being "shamed" for wearing something outrageous for the purpose of trying to shift the center of attention to themselves, away from the bride. (Some people are like that.) But making a blanket statement about red? I don’t think a plain red cocktail dress, (or non-bridy white dress, for that matter) could really take away from who the center of attention is… Besides, outside of certain moments, ceremony, first dance, cutting the cake etc,.. I didn’t expect my guests to sit there and stare at me all night.
Just wondered who knew about "red" and how you feel.
Post # 3
No idea! I like vibrant colors and think all of these rules are silly (with, perhaps the exception of wearing white to another’s wedding). Unless you know the bride is waering red, go for it!
Post # 4
I’ve never heard that one before. The only "rule" I follow is not wearing white. I’d wear red, and I especially love wearing black – I think it’s so elegant.
Post # 5
I went to a wedding and the girl who sat next to me at the reception (who I’m now very good friends with ironically) wore a tight, strapless red dress with some black lace under the bust. I won’t lie, I was a little shocked by it. Especially since this was just a date of a friend of the couple. Now that I know her, I know she would never mean any harm by it and it certainly didn’t take anything away from the bride (side note: another girl did wear white to this same wedding. Bride noticed and was less than enthused.)
Personally, I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing a really flashy dress to a wedding. I suppose it all depends on the situaion. Eventually I think more things will become acceptable. People used to (and some probably still do) think that wearing black to a wedding is bad.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm
I wore red to a wedding last summer and no one said a thing to me, nor did I feel like anyone was staring at me as opposed to the bride, though I would say it was pretty conservative. I did see on one of those bridal tv shows, where someone’s mom was wearing a low cut long stain red dress to steal the daughters thunder. She had the attitude to match it and was always doing something dramatic. So ok maybe if it’s red and dramatic, but any bright dramatic dress is going to be an eye catcher. I think red is fine, unless you are wearing it to purposely steal someone’s thunder and in that case you’ll probably be eye catching no matter what you wear.
Post # 7
I think that part of it is seen as your distaste in the couple as in wearing black or white to a wedding is a big no no. I had heard this and while I don’t wear red, just doesn’t suit me, I know that in pictures it can distract if it is vibrant red. If you are wearing it because it is a color that looks good on you and you aren’t wearing it to take anything away from the bride it won’t really hurt. If you aren’t sure ask the bride.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2018 - Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception
That is a really weird idea. I’ve never heard it before!
I wore red to my cousin’s formal New Years Eve wedding last year, and I thought I looked great! No one stared, no one said, "Hey, who’s that girl wearing red?" during important moments, or ANY moments for that matter. It was just a great dress at a great event. Completely appropriate.
In my opinion, everyone’s attention is going to be on the bride no matter what. Wear any color you like (beside’s white. That is one I agree with)!
Post # 9
I think it depends on cultural issues too. I’ve always been told for a Chinese wedding you should wear along the lines of red/pink and avoid black, but for non-Chinese weddings black is actually considered more formal & respectful.
Yup!! So the only rule I really follow is no white.
Post # 10
I wore a strapless red gown as a date when I was maybe 18, and I wasnt the only one at the wedding in red. Guess it was a popular color that year! I am more concerned about the stores carrying so much ivory this year- and hope guests dont show up in ivory/white gowns to mine.
Post # 11
Interesting! I wore a darker shade of red to my fiance’s sister’s wedding a few years back, and there always seems to be a few guests in red. I had never heard red was a no go color. Sparkles and sequins, definitely no, LOL. Granted, I think if you wore anything tight and strapless it’d be noticed! haha. But not in a good way. Red can be done tactfully for sure! Then again, you could argue colors like bright blue or yellow stand out, too. I think red is classy…my mom is wearing red to my wedding!
Post # 12
Doesn’t some of this make you wonder, who is deciding what is etiquette? And how do people exactly find out about it? Here, there are some experts saying white is fine. But certainly from these boards lots of people are still adament about not wearing white. (So how did they decide it’s somehow fine now?)
While somehow red has crept in as a no-no, and no one has really heard of it. And what if red is looks nice on someone or is their favorite color?
Post # 13
Never heard of it before.
I once was a bridesmaid and then hosted the reception at my home. It was very elegant and at the reception, I changed out of the uncomfortable b’maid dress and into a silk red dress b/c it was cute and very comfortable and since I was hostess, I was running around helping out the caterer and such and making sure all was right for the bride and groom both of which were my close friends.
Trust me, the eyes are ALWAYS on the bride and groom and attendants but emphasis on Bride and Groom.
Post # 14
I have innocently wore red to someones birthday party- but never a wedding. Same thing though- there to celebrate someone else. I just had a cute red strapless cocktail dress in my closet that I hadn’t worn in forever and decided to wear it- I wasn’t considering all the stares and attention I would get and it made me feel embarrased because I wasn’t the birthday girl and am not the type to cry for attention.
Learned my lesson though and wouldn’t recommend anyone doing it
Post # 15
When my mom and FMIL asked me if I had any guidelines for what they should wear, I told them no black, white (or off white or diamond white or ivory or champagne or mother of pearl or ecru) and no red. Black and white should be obvious, but I didn’t want them to wear red because the bridesmaids will be wearing very neutral tones and our venue is very neutral, and red would 1) clash and 2) draw the eye away from all the more subdued colors.
Post # 16
my mom wore a red flowy silky short dress to my wedding and she looked FAB!