(Closed) Have you found/suspected out that your fiance was gay?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you found/suspected out that your fiance was gay?
    Yes and I was right : (6 votes)
    5 %
    Yes but I was wrong : (12 votes)
    11 %
    Nope but I was wrong : (0 votes)
    Nope and I was right! : (92 votes)
    84 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I can’t really answer the question as presented. I’m sure my wife is gay–and that’s the way I want her to be, since I am, too!

    However, on a more serious note, I think this is one of the saddest parts of the fact that so many organizations are fighting same-sex marriage. If gay people are constantly told that what they are doing is wrong, if marriage rights are denied them, and if they are unable to adopt children, then a lot of them deceive themselves into believing that they aren’t really gay, and enter into straight marriages. And when those marriages fail, the result is a mess not only for the gay person, but for the straight spouse and any children that are involved. Far from defending traditional marriage, those who block same-sex marriage cause tremendous grief for those straight people who unknowingly marry gay partners.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @ 2dBride: Here here!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2250 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    @2dBride well said.

     

    I have never had pesonal experiance with this, but I am very interested to see what others post!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    @2dbride- well said!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    The question is how many actually KNOW they are gay, as opposed to deceiving even themselves about it. If you feel like your ability to have a permanent relationship, rear children, and be right with God depends on your being straight, you will grasp at the slightest evidence that being straight might be possible for you.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7082 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    2d- I know at least 2 people that most likely fall into the category of self-deception… both from really religious families.  It makes me sad that they might not be as fulfilled as they could be, and it makes me sad for their partners… but as of right now, they both believe they are on the right path, so I just try to support them and their partners.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I do actually have a friend who is bi-sexual and a few of us know about it. He is married to a gorgeous lady and they are very committed to one another. Just like what most social society percieves as a normal marriage. He would never ever cheat on his wife with another male/female but we have known him to date before he was married, male and females. My FH had a harder time dealing with this as he is very close minded sometimes on the issue of sexuality, he has come around and respecting my friend as his friend even tho he may not personally agree with the friends past.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    1636 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    So I havent found out that FI is but on my 20th birthday I found out my dad was most devastating day of my life. Not that he was gay but because my whole life as well as my mom and brothers life has all been a lie

    Post # 12
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee

    My grandmother’s first husband was gay – and this was way back in the 40s, so getting divorced was quite the scandal, whatever the reason.  Sadly, the experience made her pretty homophobic for the rest of her life.  To me, though, the story was always a reminder of the costs (to gay people and their straight partners alike) of homophobia.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I dated a guy in high school was was very intellectually smart but kind of socially awkward, particularly around girls.  (He actually asked my friend if he should kiss me – eww!)  To make a long story short, I was the last girl he dated before he moved and subsequently made it known that he was gay.  

    Looking back it was really obvious, but at the time I didn’t know (I was also pretty young and hadn’t really been in a lot of relationships).  It was really weird finding out because some people said things like “oh, so you turned him gay” or whatever.  Very ignorant people in my opinion.  I’m friends with him on FB and he seems really happy, so I’m happy that he figured everything out relatively early in life. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010 - Heritage Square Museum

    Right on 2dBride! So sad and tragic or everyone involved! 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I agree with 2dbride – very well said.

    I’m bisexual and my fiance knows about it.  There’s definitely a weird double standard going on, though, with bisexual women vs. bisexual men. 

    The topic ‘Have you found/suspected out that your fiance was gay?’ is closed to new replies.

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