Post # 1
Ever since starting my job a year and a half ago I’ve had a big crush on a guy who works there. He’s exactly my type, a bit mysterious, great, very attractive, nice guy and I’ve always gotten the butterfly’s, trying to impress feeling around him. It’s completely just fantasy and I would never act on it, we’re really not even really friends although we get along great in work. Well today I found out he was quitting and it really effected me more than it should have. Although I know it’s better off I’m sad at not being able to see and talk to him anymore.
Every place I look for advice just tells me it’s normal and everything but I still feel bad about it cause I’m lucky to have such a wonderful SO. So I wanted to ask have you had a crush on anyone other than your so?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Oh man, ironic you should post this. I have a total crush on a coworker of mine as of late. He’s so cute and smiley and adorably nice. Of course I would never act on it either, and he’s the nicest guy ever and married so he would never do anything inappropriate. So it’s just an innocent crush. No biggie. I’ve been with my guy for like 12 years and these things happen. He’s the absolute love of my life and a million times more perfect for me than anyone else. But we’re not jealous / possessive people and obviously it’s natural to still notice other people in the world.
So don’t feel bad, you’re not alone!
Post # 4
No, not in a long time. But I think it’s normal to have infatuations as long as it doesn’t cross the border into emotional or physical cheating.
I do sometimes flirt, though not with anyone in particular nor do I mislead anyone to think I am available. It’s just nice to feel a little…on your game? I think it’s actually kind of healthy for the relationship.
Post # 5
Man I am facing this EXACT same thing!
I just started a new job and one of the teachers (I work at a school) thought I was singe, even though I have my shiny rings on my finger.
He would flirt with me and he is TOTALLY my type, he even still flirts with me a bit now that he knows I am married.
I completely trust myself that it isn’t going to lead to anything, but its kind of fun to get butterflys.
The crush is dying down more and more, and that makes me happy because it would be nice to be friends.
I amost feel like my crush on my coworker has reaffirmed my love for my DH…. as crazy as that sounds.
Post # 6
I can’t think of a specific instance, but I’ve definitely found other people attractive or interesting or nice to look at since I’ve been with my husband, and it’s no big deal. I think my husband is just about the most excellent person in the world (and definitely the most excellent person for me) but it’s totally normal to think someone else is cute and pretty cool.
Post # 7
I think its only natural. You cant just turn that off.
Post # 8
Crushes are normal… afterall you are human… just married (not dead)
The thing is how you choose to deal with them. Be they a crush you have on someone, or someone else has on you.
A mature person, makes a mental note, and takes action so they aren’t in any way setting themselves up for an inappropriate amount of interaction / contact with that other person.
And by so doing… usually the crush subsides.
Keeping one’s marriage a priority and on-track takes work…
It is the weak (be they men or women) who take their crushes to the next level … and when infidelity happens
Don’t be that person.
— — —
PS… I didn’t vote, and here’s why.
I’ve never had a crush on anyone else since meeting Mr TTR.
BUT I did have a major crush within a few years of being married to my first Hubby.
So truthfully I’d have one vote in each column if I was truly honest.
Post # 9
Does Tom Hardy count? I haven’t had any real life crushes, only celebrities.
Post # 10
@ash064: All the dang time. Seems like I’m always crushing on someone, but who it is changes pretty frequently. The adorable front desk guy, that one trainer at my gym, even a couple of my clients.
I rarely think of these guys unless they’re standing in front of me, but boy do I smile a little bigger when they’re around. I never was any good at flirting, so I’m never much tempted to try. And personally, I would never flirt with anyone at work, especially a client. I just enjoy the butterflies while they last and go on my merry way.
I know my fiance gets crushes, too. He’ll even tell me about some cute girl working at the sandwich place or wherever he went to for lunch and how “adorable’ she was (he always uses that particular term).
Pretty harmless for the most part, I’d say. But probably a good idea to keep your guard up a little more with guys you see every day, especially at work. I’ve seen workplace gossip wreak havoc on one co-worker’s marriage and almost cost another his job.
Post # 11
If you get to the end of your life with your SO/Fi/DH and you proclaim that you’ve never found yourself attracted to someone else ever again, you’ll be lying to yourself.
I think it’s totally normal to find yourself attracted to someone when you can’t act on it. what is more important is recognising that it’s never going to go anywhere rahter than hiding it -that’s when it starts becoming like a sexy secret and you are more likely to do somethign you’ll later regret!
Post # 12
Err… do famous people count?
Post # 13
No but its funny cause a few of the married ladies at my school have a crush on a teacher my age. Hes married too and i think hss cute but nothing else. The other ladies swoon over him its kinda silly lol
Post # 14
I have. It was not pleasant because it made me so uncomfortable feeling like I liked another guy!! Eew! But it is entirely natural. It’s really great, actually, that your crush guy is leaving the job! You won’t have to worry about crushing on him any more once he goes away. I bet you’ll enjoy the feeling of relief. 🙂
Post # 14
I have had a crush on someone other than my FI. And he liked me back. Neither of us have acted on it though, we both know it would be wrong. we are just great friends, and in another universe things might be different. Doesn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty for a while for the little crush. i think it is normal to be attracted to others even when committed. it’s whether you act on it that makes the difference.
Post # 15
apparently my fiancée and I haven’t been together long enough because no I honestly can say I haven’t since meeting him.