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I just got off the phone with my dad, and he was saying that my brother may be getting engaged in the next few months (apparently things are going well with his new gf! YAY! I like her a lot :D), and I jokingly asked him, "Can you and Mom afford another wedding after ours?"
His response was, "Well, traditionally the groom's family just has to cover the alcohol bill."
Whaaaaa? I've never heard that. And I'm on WB alllllll the time. Like, an obscene number of hours every day. I think it's really interesting how his perception and mine are so different.
So I'm curious - anyone heard of that "tradition" that my dad claims is the norm right now?
I've never heard that. I didn't think traditionally speaking though that the grooms family paid for anything but the rehearsal dinner? I'm not sure though...nowadays most of the typical traditions don't really apply.
The only thing I have ever heard is that the bride's parents are suposed to pay for the wedding. (This isn't my opinion, I am just saying that is the only thing money-related I have heard of being considered a tradition.) Except the rehearsal dinner.
I think now a days, anything can be done. But I have heard that the grooms family pays for alcohol, rehearsal dinner and honeymoon.
It used to be the grooms family covered the rehearsal dinner, the flowers and the alcohol.... but these days things get split up every which way.
@HisIrishPrincess: I agree here, my FI's family is covering the alcohol bill, as well as the rehearsal dinner.
That is the tradition I've heard but my fiance and I aren't following it. Though his mom refuses to contribute "because its tradition for the bride's parents to pay"... load of bull in 2011, if you ask me.. I'm not coming with a dowry
I think your dad may just be confused. I've only heard that it is Tradition for the groom's folks to pay for the rehearsal dinner.
@daydreamwanderer: I've heard of it. The brides family pays for everything and the grooms family pays for the alcohol and rehearsal dinner. Of course, this is when women didn't go to college and just got married right after high school.
I haven't heard about the alcohol being what the grooms parents pay for but traditionally the brides parents pay for the wedding and the grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon. That doens't mean that is how is should or has to be.
Many moons ago the rehearsal dinner and bar tab were picked up by the groom's family. At least here in Wisconsin. Times have changed and I think the days of set roles have also.
Traditionally: the groom's family pays for the rehersal dinner & bar tab, the groom pays for the bridal flowers and honeymoon, and the bride's family pays for everything else.
Y'know, that whole dowry thing.
My sister's ILs did that and paid for the rehearsal dinner. They offered, but I'm not sure if it's because of tradition of how much their family drinks :).
@HotPinkPopTart: I think now a days, anything can be done. But I have heard that the grooms family pays for alcohol, rehearsal dinner and honeymoon.
Ditto this!
My husband's parents just paid for the rehearsal dinner though, and alcohol was included in our per person price, so my parents covered it. We were on our own for the honeymoon. :)
one traditional way is for the groom's family to pay for FLOP - flowers, liquor, orchestra, photographer.
I have head of it. My husbands parents paid for the alcohol at their first sons wedding which cost $8000. The second son married a really rich girl so the alcohol (Moet and Chandon and very expensive wine cost triple that so instead they paid for the post wedding BBQ the day after.
Our wedding was much more low key, they paid for the reception food, which cost $6500 and gave us $1500 afterwards as we (me and DH) paid for everything else (my parents passed away years ago)
I have heard of that tradition but I didn't think it was ever really followed. In my area, the grooms family typically pays for the rehearsal dinner and the flowers. Traditionally the grooms family is also "supposed" to pay for the honeymoon but I've never actually seen this done.
I thought it was:
Groom's side pays for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, and puts everyone up.
Bride's side pays for the wedding itself.
I haven't heard of that particular tradition, though FI's parents are paying for the alcohol anyway because his father is the controller of a liquor distribution company in the region.
My FI's family offered to pay for the alcohol but full open bar is included in the price per person at the venue. So, seeing if they will offer to pay for something else.
I just asked my grandma and at her wedding the groom paid for a whole lot more than the alcohol. He paid for the rehearsal dinner, the venue, the officiant, the alcohol, the photographer, the tuxes, and a few other things that I can't remember off the top of my head. The brides family paid for the food, the dress, the flowers, and everything else.
Yep I've heard it. I always thought that "traditionally" the groom's parents paid for rehearsal dinner, alcohol, flowers, and honeymoon.
I thought the tradition was just the RD, and sometimes I've heard flowers. My in laws paid for RD and alcohol, but that's just b/c they were worried that we wouldn't have an open bar to cut costs.
Yes I've heard of it. Apparently it is traditional for the groom's parents to pay for the flowers and the alchohol. This is how it worked for my parent's wedding.
Of course nowadays everything is a mix mash of tradition and what works for the couple and their families.
Never heard of it but then again the MIL ended up paying for the alcohol. Maybe she knew about the tradition. I threw out all the traditions on who is 'suppose' to pay for my wedding.
I've heard that traditionally, groom's family pays for rehearsal dinner, bride's bouquet, alcohol, and honeymoon. But that is super old-fashioned. Nowadays I think it depends on what everyone can afford and how much they each want to chip in.
i have heard of it.
but i have also heard of the groom's parents paying for the honeymoon
and then the groom's parents paying for the rehearsal dinner.
so who knows,
i've heard if it, but i don't think it's nearly as common as the "groom's family covers the rehearsal dinner" tradition which is the norm among people i know. i've also heard about the tradition that they pay for the flowers and the honeymoon too, but i don't know anyone who has followed those rules. in our case, my parents paid for the wedding, his for the rehearsal dinner, and we covered our own honeymoon.
i'm actually surprised you asked him if they can afford another wedding since it is your BROTHER getting married and the #1 tradition is that the brides parents pay.
@kingytobe: Yeah, my FMIL told FI when he was concerned about finances for being able to afford a wedding, that he just needed to worry about the ring & "everything else is her parents' problem." Love her to death most of the time, but thought that comment was so rude.
My parents are "traditional" when it comes to that though, so they fully expected to pay for the wedding, which I'm so thankful for, as we will have had a 1 year + a few months engagement instead of a 2 year engagement (not that there's anything wrong with long engagements, I just don't think I could have waited that long, haha, though would have if I needed to, and getting married this summer was a more significant time frame, anyway (finishing my master's, starting a new career, moving somewhere new.. getting married just seemed to fit right into that with the whole "starting anew" theme that seems to be taking place!)
I've never heard of the groom's family taking care of the alcohol, I had just heard of the whole traditionally the bride's parents pay for the wedding & the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. Though I think my parents plan to pay for my brothers' honeymoons, as well, if they get married down the line. Just what I've always known to be "tradition" though!
i've only heard the groom's family is in charge of the rehearsal dinner.
@daydreamwanderer: tradition is that bride's parent pay for wedding ceremony & reception! But that's not always the case nowadays!
I've never heard that! I've only heard of the grooms family paying for the rehearsal dinner...
Traditionally yes, there was a list of things the groom's family paid for, a list of things the bride's family paid for a very small list the couple paid for. Very few people go by the traditions now though.
Here's an example:
i have definitely heard of this and have seen it in practice. though... i think it's outdated and unfair.
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