Have you heard supposed to/not supposed to during planning?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Oohhh, I have a few, and I am very early in my wedding planning!

You’re supposed to have flowers

someone HAS to walk you down the aisle

You’re supposed to have even numbers in your bridal party

you’re supposed to have a first dance

the bride and groom aren’t supposed to see each other before the wedding (first looks aren’t very common in Australia)

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

“You’re supposed to have an open bar!” (For our non-dancing luncheon wedding? Who is drinking gin and tonics at 12:30?)

Post # 5
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@adalm03:  

 

“You have to invite (FI’s cousin’s friends whom he doesn’t know) because I know them and already told them.” -my FSIL

 

“Of course you’re inviting mom’s coworkers.” -same FSIL (FMIL has been retired ten years and didn’t even ask us to invite them!)

 

“You can’t have a minister perform your wedding who doesn’t believe in God.” – family member (My cousin is our officiant- not a minister- and she does believe in God but the whole point is we want a civil ceremony)

 

“You just can’t have your wedding Oct 11th bc that’s when our other friend is getting married.”- friend I love, but who is one of 200+ guests. I’m not planning around him. 

 

“You need to invite just one or two of your mission team. It’s weird that you think of them as a group.” -BFF (Um. What? Doesnt everyone have some “If I invite A, I have to invite B&C” situations?)

 

Post # 6
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@adalm03:  Here are a few that I’ve run into:

1.  You’re supposed to invite your whole family.

2.  You’re supposed to have a diamond in your engagement ring.

3.  You’re supposed to register for fine china and silverware, not frivolous things you’ll never use (like I’m going to use china?).

 

Post # 8
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

You have to have the largest diamond engagement ring that your FI could buy, otherwise it means you aren’t officially engaged and he obviously doesn’t love you enough.

Post # 9
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Ooo! I thought of another one! We were at brunch with three other engaged couples a few weeks ago, so obviously wedding talk was rampant. One couple is having a 400 guest wedding at this gorgeous ballroom. They were talking about how you “Have to spend $6,000 minimum on flowers”. I was like “You have to? Why?” and the groom said “Well, 40 tables, centerpieces are minimum $150 a piece- that’s $6000 before you’ve even decorated the rest of the room!” 

My FI and I just sat there silent. Our entire budget for 200 guests is $10,000. I wanted to say “Um… I have a secret to tell you– you don’t ‘have to’ have any flowers AT ALL.” but they clearly have a very set vision. Lucky for them their parents are footing the bill. 

@Xu:  *snort* I’m with you. I got wasted at the last non-dancing lunch reception I went to. 

Post # 10
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MexiPino:  the thought of a $6000 flower minimum is giving me hives….

I’m not interested in anyone’s “supposed to”s unless they have the checkbook to match.

Post # 11
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

nope, not one person told me i was supposed to or not supposed to do anything.

 

Post # 12
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

So far I haven’t heard any “supposed tos”– I think it’s bc I’m an older bride and people aren’t really that into the whole wedding thing. They’re all busy.

The only “not supposed tos” I’ve heard have been on WB, lol.

Post # 13
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve definitely gotten the “you HAVE to invite more family!” from FSIL.

And “you’re not supposed to get ready morning-of with anyone except your bridal party”…I’m bringing in a couple other friends to help with makeup and stuff…so what?!

“You’re supposed to register for more expensive things so your friends can all go in on something together” (not that I disagree, I’ve done this, but what’s wrong with registering for less expensive items?)

“You’re supposed to get a professional makeup artist.  Your friend will not do as good of a job, and you’ll regret the pictures.”

“You’re supposed to have flowers.  It’s not a wedding without flowers!” This from FMIL…so now we’re having silk flowers as a compromise.

“You’re supposed to have a color scheme or at least a theme!”

“Your bridesmaids should match and you should pick what they’re wearing” (I’m letting them decide and they even picked the color)

I could go on and on…

Post # 14
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Ugh, I have heard this plenty.

“You can’t have a dessert bar, you need a 3 tier cake”

“You can’t buy a department store dress, you need a 3,000$ ball gown”

What I really need is for people to butt out…

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Xu:  

@MexiPino:  You are both amazing and hilarious. There was unlimited Mimosas, but apparently that was not adequate! My Dad actually opened a bar tab in the main portion of the restaurant so our guests would have an open bar. DH and I were like “Where are all these people getting liquor from?” We had no idea until after!

Post # 16
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@prahajess:  I think if you are an older bride, most of the time they don’t dare criticize as much.

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