Post # 1
A couple months ago when FH’s in-laws were visiting, I snapped at FH within earshot of his parents.
I RARELY ever snap at FH, but of course the one time I do, his parents had to be there. I was on the computer trying to write a highly important email, and FH was hovering over me as well as being incredibly nosey, so my impulse reaction was to tell him to stop reading my email in a very irritated/somewhat angry, raised tone of voice. It wasn’t nice.
I was embarrassed as soon as I did it, especially because it was over something so trivial. His parents were in the next room, and I know they heard it.
Nothing was mentioned of it, but they aren’t around much, and I don’t want them to think I talk to FH like that on a regular basis. It was a very rare occurrence. Am I worrying too much?
Have you ever snapped at your SO in front of his family?
Post # 3
@regit45: I think everyone snaps at their SO at an inconvienent moment at least once in their relationship. I know I have. It happens, no is perfect, and I do think you’re overthinking it a bit.
Just be a bit more careful in the future.
Post # 4
LOL probably. Well he talks online to his brothers a lot using a computer microphone and I know they can hear me sometimes. I probably snapped at him to change the cat litter or get the groceries out of the car. I don’t really care about it.
I’m sure they’ll just forget about it!
Post # 5
@regit45: yes, I have…
One time we had just drove up the 10 hours it takes to get to his moms house, I was exhausted but he wanted to go visit his buddies. No problem, I hung out with his mom and waited for him to come home. Normally, I would just go to bed but since he didn’t have a key I was told to wait up for him. Well, no text, no phone call nothing. It was getting to be 5 in the morning and I was exhausted from the drive and really annoyed he couldn’t even text me to let me know when he might be home.
So when he sloshed home (very drunk) a little after 4:30 I could have killed him. I know it was the exhaustion, but man… I was pissed. I love his friends, I love that he gets to hang out with all of them when we visit. But I wanted some respect and for him to acknowledge that he told me to wait up for him. And he smelled like straight up beer. So I made him sleep on the couch.
The next morning he told his mother that I kicked him out of his own childhood bedroom. I felt like such crap… I just honestly didn’t want to sleep with him on a twin size bed when I was so angry at him and he smelled so strongly of beer.
I’m sure his mom didn’t think too greatly of me that day.
Post # 6
Yup! I was hiking with my husband, my parents an my in-laws. I was super frusterated with our extremely large (and at the time young and untrained) dog, and I was even more angry that my husband was telling me what to do every 30 seconds and asking me if I wanted help. Eventually, I turned around and snapped at him. The inlaws were behind him, and I know they heard me. I was alo embarassed as soon as I said something.
Post # 7
I have lol a couple times 🙂 and now they all think I’m crazy and are a little afraid of me… which is ok, I guess.
Post # 8
Yes, I’ve snapped at him in front of a lot of people, and most of the time for good reason! LOL His mom is totally a hover-mom, and wishes that he would be a momma’s boy even though he really isn’t. She ran to his defense like it was her job and tried to baby him and earn some brownie points from him. It didn’t really work, and I think she realized that he can be quite annoying at times even to her, so he does need to be told to back off from time to time.
Post # 9
@regit45: Ha! Yes, during one of the first visits we had together about 7 years ago, my DH and I wanted to take his parents to an awesome ice cream place and we got totally lost along the way. I am sure we snapped at each other. My FIL told the story in his wedding speech and noted how he admires our problem-solving skills. 😀
Our parents have little arguments here and there, so I’m not embarassed for them to hear us have the occasional “serious discussion.” Arguing and conflict resolution is a natural part of any intimate relationships. I honestly think our families would be more concerned if they never heard us have any conflict.
Post # 10
Right before we got married we were going to the mall and my husband was driving and my MIL was in the backseat. We’d never been to that mall before and basically got confused in the parking lot and lost…and my husband kept asking me where to turn and I finally snapped and said “I’ve never fucking been here before either!”, totally forgetting she was in the backseat.
Then my MIL chimes in “so get off her ass!”. She now refers to that as her favorite moment with me because until then I would have said nothing in front of her, and she was glad I was finally comfortable enough to be honest, lol.
Post # 11
No, I don’t think I ever have.
Post # 12
FI and I used to share a flat with a friend of his…who turned out to be up to her eyes in debt, only paid £200 of a £3000 deposit and was always ‘borrowing’ money.
When the lease finally came to an end I had to move back in with my ex H (no family and the only friend who offered me a room ended up changing their mind at the last minute) , 200 miles away, as we got barely any of the deposit back and couldn’t raise any money for a new place.
To say I was less than happy was an understatement. I freely admit that I blamed FI a good 90% for what happened – and unfortunately as we were once again long distance and he was back living with his parents, they more than likely heard some our very ‘loud’ phone calls discussing the situation…
But one of the benefits of being in my mid 40s is that I don’t really care what they think.
Post # 13
I don’t think I have, but I’m pretty sure my FMIL would laugh if I did. They wouldn’t bat an eye because they know we’re crazy about each other, but of course we annoy each other at times!
My mother has actually been the one who has laid into me about how I’ve spoken to my FI. She’s a bit controlling and nosey though. I asked my FI if he had any issues with the way I spoke to him, and he was oblivious as to what the problem would have been, so I trusted he was fine.
Post # 14
@sara_tiara: Haha. That’s awesome. I’m pretty sure that’s how it would go down with my FMIL too.
Post # 15
Yep… This was on a Thanksgiving visit a year or two ago. My Fi and I had a spat about something, I truly cannot remember. But as usual, my FI was not listening to me. I flipped and cussed at him. He said something back yo me, as normal, haha!. His mom was in the kitchen or something I think.
I don’t really care. I am not about being phony and pretending we have a perfect relationship. There is no such thing. His phony sister now uses that one instance to say I “disrepected” the mom. This is the same b*tch who tore up her mom’s pictures that had her now ex-husband in them without permission. Yeah, she knows all about how to really over step boundaries and disrespect people.
I have heard her and her current wife (he is technically a man, but is more feminine than her) have a huge argument or two, but they hide it so as to pretend like their so happy and they never argue, hahaha!
Your in-laws will get over it. I can almost guarantee that nearly every couple argues aqt some point. If he wants to marry you, he must love you and vice versa, right? They will let it go.
Post # 16
I haven’t (yet) but my DH snapped at ME in front of his parents. Here’s the story.
My DH has a pretty bad habit of making plans without consulting me and when I say “make plans” he invites his entire family over when I am sitting in my pjs watching trashy TV or I’m about to go out for drinks with the ladies and he says, “Oh I told my parents we were going to their house tonight. I called them 5 minutes ago…” !!!!
So he is on the phone with his mom and she’s asking him about some plans and I can hear him going “Friday? Yeah that works…” and I knew that we had plans so I start frantically shaking my head at him and mouthing. “NO NO IT DOESNT WORK!” Well he got pissed. so after his phone call he lays into me: “OMIGOD will you calm the hell down?! You are so freaking annoying I didn’t know Friday worked what with your arm waving and your head shaking and you’re I”M MRS-S AND I KNOW EVERYTHING bullshit–” and then he stopped and looked at his phone… he hadnt hung up properly and his mother heard everything.
She’s never mentioned it.