Have you/ would you date to marry?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Did you/ would you date to marry?
    Yes : (156 votes)
    77 %
    No : (36 votes)
    18 %
    Not sure : (10 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    8677 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    When my husband and I began dating, we progressed very rapidly (Two days in he told me he loved me.) A week or so later he told me I was going to be his wife. We dated each other to marry one another. We courted briefly, mostly to see how we as a couple would function and if we could survive the strains of the military. We married in less than a year, so I’d say we did pretty good.

    Post # 4
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I dated to marry. I didn’t want to waste time on someone who I had no future with, and I didn’t want to get attached to someone who I knew was wrong for me but was dating for fun and gained the emotions.

    Post # 5
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    When I was younger and dating in my teens & 20s, I most certainly looked at any long term relatioinship of any serious nature as whether it “had Potential” to become more … and move towards Engagement & Marriage, as that was a LIFE PLAN Goal for myself… to marry, have kids etc.

    So ya, I certainly spent some time dating with marriage in mind.

    This time round…

    I was coming off of a horrific divorce, and gun-shy about marrying again… as I had lost a lot of trust in my fellow man (especially MEN)

    Ultimately tho, I knew myself and KNEW I wanted to Marry again.

    So ya, altho I did a little dabbling post Divorce (what I now like to refer to as Research & Education about how the Dating World had changed in 20+ years… lol, it sucks !!), I ultimately was Dating to find myself a LONG TERM COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP.

    The fact that that came to meant Marriage all the better.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 7
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I dated people who were interested in a long-term commitment who had qualities that I felt would make a good partner for life. I certainly didn’t go on first dates saying, “I AM LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND!” But I didn’t waste time pursuing relationships with people who weren’t interested in commitment.

    Post # 9
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    I am dating to marry. By the 4th date I made it clear I was interested in a long term relationship that would lead to marriage at some point in general. Luckily he’s on the same page, been dating a few months now but I don’t consider myself waiting. At our ages I don’t see the point of just dating for kicks.

    Had we been really young and not established I wouldn’t be dating to marry. But I’m at a point of my life where I’m tired of casualness and want marriage and future children.

    Post # 10
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I guess so. My Fi proposed the day after our first kiss and before we ever dated at all (though we hadworked closely together for 2 years before then). It was a surprise to say the least but it was really nice to know what his intentions were from the very beginning. I didnt say yes until we had dated for 8 months though. We have now been together about 3 yrs and I have essentially thought of him as my fiance for almost the entire time. Amuch better experience in my opinion than with any of my other boyfriends.

    Post # 11
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think the majority of women, especially young women who have never before been married, date with the idea of commitment & hopefully future marriage in mind.

    It’s not as creepy as “I’m hunting a husband, outta my way!” I was just testing the waters to see what worked for me & what didn’t, & of course hoping along the way that I would find love & a forever commitment (ie: marriage). Luckily I didn’t have to search for very long, as my husband was one of my first serious relationships, & my first genuinely requited love.

    Post # 12
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’ve been with FI since we were 16 so this is not something I’ve ever had to really think about. I think if I did get to my late 20s without finding someone I probably would be in the market for a long term relationship that would eventually lead to marriage.

    Post # 13
    3633 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    DH and I dated for 6 years before he finally proposed but both of us were dating to marry and after high school ended, I was dating to marry. Even in our first year of dating, DH and I already had talks about our future and what we expect from a future spouse (including discipline styles and number of children). I personally don’t care for dating just for dating, but I’m not opposed to it for others. It just never suited me. I don’t see the purpose in getting attached and spending all this time nurturing a relationship with someone that isn’t going to work out in the long-term.

    Post # 14
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @dicapriosimaginarywife:  Yes, I dated to marry in the sense that if I knew someone wasn’t a person I would marry, I never went out with them in the first place.  Moreover, once I knew the person I was with wasn’t marriage material, I moved on.  Even when I wasn’t ready to be married, I still found it wise not to date someone I couldn’t marry.  Unexpected things may occur.  You don’t want to find yourself forever tied to someone you don’t find marriage-worthy. 


    Post # 15
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

    no, in fact I didn’t want to ever get married until after I met my SO. 

    Post # 16
    10902 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009


    +1. My DH and I met on eHarmony, and we both were interested only in meeting potential marriage partners. Neither of us was interested in dating anyone who did not share our faith and values and who had traits or beliefs that would not align with what each of us was seeking in a spouse. We lived in different states, and we saw no point in even meeting each other in person if we didn’t envision there being a potential future and unless I would have been willing to relocate, since, due to a shared custody situation, he could not.

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