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Boy and I were discussing this recently - how long can we put off introducing our Mums to one another?
My Mum, as much as I love her, really isn't a people person. There are very few people she can get along with for more than 5 minutes at a time. He tells me his Mum can be the same (but she's always been lovely to me). We've decided to put it off as long as possible - can we really come up with a rota, so that Mums be at the wedding and still never see each other?? My Mum can watch me say my vows, then we'll stop the ceremony, usher one mum in and one mum out surrounded by bodyguards and covered in blankets. Then we'll re-start, he'll say his vows, and we're golden. We'll split the reception in half - the company I work for can get me a discount on some lovely wedding backdrops, so we can use two of those!!
Our Dads aren't a problem - they're both deceased and we're convinced they're watching over us, and driving 4x4s together!
Anyway....at what point in your relationshipp did/ do you plan to let your parents meet his??
At the wedding. I'm not kidding, they are 1400 miles away from one another and it's just not practical for them to get together beforehand. Honestly, after the wedding they'll probably not have any contact with one another anyway, so I don't see what the big deal is...
We arranged dinner so our parents could meet for the first time about a month or two after we got engaged. They've seen each other several times since then, but not on as much of a formal level.
I had a friend of mine tell me that her and her husband's parents didn't meet until the wedding rehearsal (after the couple had already been together for 5 years and the families lived within about 10 miles of each other). I didn't want the same for myself. I wanted our parents to know each other, even if only a little, and feel comfortable with one another by the time the wedding rolls around.
Our parents haven't met yet. My parents will probably meet his dad/step mom at some point before the wedding, but probably won't meet his mom until the rehearsal dinner.
I dont think we really planned on intriducing our families it just kind of happened. My mom is the same as yours so we thought it would be better if we did it when there were a lot of other family members together.
It wasnt as bad as we thought it would be, my grandmother and his mother ended up getting along great. So, who knows what will happen, but good luck!
At both the Korean and Canadian weddings. The Korean wedding will be fine as my mum will be staying with us. The Canadian wedding will be a whole different story as his parents will be staying at my mum's house for two weeks. Oh the cultural and linguistic gulfs. It's going to be a very very interesting time...
Our parents met right before our 1 year mark. Mine came into town to go to the horse races and we decided to do it then. It was really important to me for them to meet before we ever got engaged because eventually they'll be spending Christmas and maybe even Thanksgiving together (yep, I'm going to be... some kind of zilla about holidays because I REFUSE to split them up once the grandmothers who can't travel pass on). I was SO nervous, because our parents are pretty different, and almost got SICK on the way there. It totally ended up being okay, no problems at all thanks to a "no religion, no politics" rule we established earlier and his mom ended up giving a SPEECH about how much she loves me.
I really do recommend that they meet eachother beforehand. WIth all the pressure already on that day, emotions will be running high and it'll just be easier if you get it out of the way before the actual wedding. Surly they'll be on their best behavior.
My parents first met my FMIL before we were engaged when she visited us. Since we were suppose to get married in August and my parents already had their tickets they met my future family in law this summer in California. They saw each other again this fall. It's great since they live 3000 miles apart. The only hard part is the whole translating part where I have to sit next to my mom and translate pretty much everything from French to English.
We've been together for 5 years and our parents haven't yet met. whoops. It's not necessarily intentional as FI's parents live in upstate NY and mine are on the South Shore and we all have crazy schedules...but are we pushing the meeting? uh, no. Will they meet before the wedding? Maybe...lol. At least I've met his parents/stayed with them and he's stayed at my parents plenty and we all get along!
By the way they get along really well even with the language barrier
We're from the same hometown and dated in high school (I know, super corny), so our parents have known each other for years. I'm SO thankful at this point, as there is absolutly no stress on our families getting along, we already know they do.
Ours will meet next week at Thanksgiving ... *gulp* I'm really nervous, because my mom can be kind of introverted and his dad is ... loud. I'm just going to keep the wine handy and hope for the best.
our parents met 5 months after we started dating, around the time that we moved in together. they had actually known each other from years ago, we belong to the same temple, but his parents quit the temple so they hadn't seen each other in years. i don't remember why we decided that time, but i think there was something going on at the temple that they both wanted to go to, so we all got together.
We're working on this now. They have met before but only at our graduatuion and they didn't really speak much. My mom and his mom have completely different personalities and unfortunately I'm closer to his mom than my own. UGH. Ths whole thing is gonna make me sick.
Our parents haven't met yet and FI's lot (his mum and 2nd husband. FI's dad is not on the scene) are currently saying they're not coming to the wedding :( It all began as a silly argument over who pays for what (My parents are paying for everything, his aren't paying for anything. FI is annoyed with them because he feels his mum spends beyond her means and always finds money (or credit) for new stuff, but always claims to be broke). If she can't/won't pay for anything that's one thing, but refusing to come to the wedding is just plain silly. Especially as I asked FI's little sister to be BM and now she won't be. We're hoping they come round by the wedding, but it makes things alittle awkward at the moment.
Haven't yet told my parents that's what's happening. Well, they know about the money side, but not that FI's folks aren't coming. It's all very upsetting. :S
My mom is very much like yours; totally NOT a people person and usually seems to come off snobby since she's not much of a smilier (and gives everyone stink eye). Hubbys mom is the sweetest, kindest person I know. Because both of our moms are Filipino, hubbys mother was super excited about meeting my mom. My mom has a lot of animosity towards the Philippines (she had a rough childhood). The first time our moms meet was very casual; my family had a yard sale and my MIL stopped by. She said hi to my mom, my mom grunted at her and turned away. Yes. Rude. That's my mom.
My shower was at my MIL's house (and she had ALL of her Filipino friends there). My mom kept to my family that was there (as my MIL's friends took trips to the bathroom to check her out...sooo high school). I don't think they actually had a conversation till my wedding day.
wow - i must be very progressive! our parents met each other for the first time a little over a year ago i think? my mom also came with us to Maine (where my BF's parent live) this summer to visit them, and whenever his parents are in town, my mom usually comes out at least one of the nights they are around. they seem to get along pretty well and it's kinda nice having everyone together. his mom and my mom are also now Facebook friends too, which is cute! will make the marriage/in-law transition go smoother i think!
His parents have met my mom, only 1 time in the 6 years we've been together and they never met my father who died about a year and a half after we started dating. My family and his family both live in different states and then we each live in different states too. There is a minimum of 10 hours driving between each of us!
Our parents haven't met yet....I hate to say it like this but it really hasn't been a priority. We both have been living on our own in different states from our parents for years so they are fine with meeting at the post wedding party. Plus they know we both tend to go our own way so they really haven't been pushing the issue...it will happen in due time.
HA. That was a disaster. The only thing my mom and his mom have in common is that they were once married to short, hairy men. My dad passed away- his parents divorced. His mom is now a lesbian, and is a big drinker (my mom doesn't) gossiper (my mom doesn't) and her partner is rich (my mom is trying to sell her house before forclosure)
Basically FMIL got really drunk and was embarassing and annoying. My mom could say nice things about HITLER if she had dinner with him, so of course she said it was "lovely" but it was horrible for myself, FI, and FBIL (who also came in town that weekend.)
Basically... it's just gotta happen eventually! GL!
my parents and his parents live 5 hours from each other. we decided one time when my parents came up to visit that we should all go out to dinner. surprisingly, our families really like each other. my boyfriend's parents are always asking when my parents are coming to visit because they enjoyed talking to them.
Our parents live more than 10,000 miles apart -- so it will be the night before the wedding for them! A bit nervous about it, to be honest, as they're really very different people...
Our parents met at the engagement party my mom hosted. They were fine. The FH's parents are super laid back, so are mine, so it was cool. My mom even told his mom that she didn't care what she wore to the wedding, could be same color, didn't matter to her. So glad there was no drama their!
Our parents met a looooooooooong time ago (early in our relationship). Although, each time they've met, its only been for a little while
ours parents met a year after we had been dating. Then 3.5 years later we got married. So ours met really early on! And it worked out fine. They all seem to get along well!
Our parents haven't met yet. My parents stay 5 hours away and his mom lives in town along with the rest of his family. Whenever we are engaged I hope to go dress shopping with both the mom's and the bridesmaids. So they will meet that day and we can have fun and go to lunch etc. I am sure that our moms will love each other. His mom is older than my mom by about 16 years, and both are hilariously funny and adorably sweet.
I'm sure it will be okay when your moms meet. ^_^
Our parents didn't met till our engagement party. My parents are super friendly and seriously can win over anyone. They did just that with my FI's parents (they are kind of hard to get along with because they are kind of... not as emotion showing as me and my family)
I was really worried about this because I didn't get along with his parents and basically I'm just like my parents but it all worked out for the best. ^_^
Ours met a couple of weeks after we got engaged, when they were all helping out with me moving in FI's house. His mom wasn't there, but my FFIL and FSIL were there. It did not go so well, and now his mom wants us to host a dinner where she can meet my parents - this means we have to get my parents with his father and sister again and I have to say it makes me nervous!!
My dad is shy, deep down... to hide it, he can come strong with jokes and being a bit too familiar for my in-laws taste. Now I don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings - especially knowing that he acts that way to be nice to people and liked... ouch!
we've been together almost 5 years and still haven't introduced out parents. however, with his mom in michigan and my parents in california, it's not exactly an easy deal. haha. i figure, if they don't meet before hand, they'll probably meet sometime after we're engaged and most likely right before the wedding.
They all met about 11 months after we began dating. Our moms totally hit it off! lol. My parents are coming into town, again for Thanksgiving and for the 3rd year in a row it's going to be a combined family party!
Our parents didn't meet until after we were engaged as well, at that point we had been together for over 4 years.
We've been dating over a year and they haven't met yet. It's not like they're far apart either; his mom lives about half an hour away and his dad maybe two hours. I think our dads will get along no problem, but moms...well, my mom is a very conservative, passive kindergarten teacher who doesn't indulge in any vice except chocolate, while his mom is a high strung, worldly chainsmoker. Veeeeeery different personalities. I'm thinking it will either work out perfectly fine, or it'll be a train wreck, haha.
The FI's parents live in the same town as us and my parents came through and dropped some furniture for our future apartment off at his parent's house for storage. It was short, kind of awkward, and we've never really talked to either set of parents about what their impressions were. His parents have an unndying love for all technology, new TV shows, and all bandwagon teen movies (think Twilight) so I don't foresee any in-law vacays after they received "are you crazy" looks for not having seen the latest Harry Potter movie (or any of them for that matter in my pop's case). I don't even know how Harry Potter got brought up in the maybe fifteen minutes that they were together =/.
Hah! I like the mental picture you've created there… bodyguards… heh
Despite living less than 5m away from each other - our parents didn't meet until after we were engaged. I was terrified. My Dad's a teddybear but my Mom… well let's just say we call her the "dragon lady". She can be as sweet and polite as Emily Post herself but man she can get some zingers in there too. FI's parents are about 20yrs younger than mine and way laid back. I'm so grateful because I hit the jackpot of IL's - they're so easy going. I didn't think they'd have anything in common but it was fine.
I guess at the end of the day all Mom's can talk about their kids and raising children, etc.
We were just talking about this - our parents haven't met - but not because they don't want to! Life is just so crazy right now that there's no time! With over a year til our wedding, I'm not too worried about it. Though I hope they meet soon because I love his family like my own and he feels similarly toward mine!
Ours haven't met, and probably won't intil the rehearsal dinner...or the wedding. idk if they'll both be at the rehersal. lol.
Nope. I haven't even met his mom yet, although she and I talk on the phone and before she hangs up she always tells me, "I love you." We are hopeful that she will be able to come out and visit early next year.
This really is a sticky situation... My boyfriend's sister just got married in October and her parents did not meet the groom's parents until the day before the wedding due to distance. They got along okay but you could kinda tell that it wasn't really a meshing of the two families because they didn't have time to get to know his family very well... On the other hand my parents live about 25 minutes from BF's so we're working on this but not pushing too hard. His parents (and whole family for that matter) are loud, opinionated and a little bit on the wild side- mine are quiet, always polite, and pastor their own church.. Talk about polar opposites. BF plays pool tuesday nights with my step-day so probably right before the engagement we'll be inviting his parents to come along and have the 3 boys play pool together while us 3 ladies sit and chit-chat.. I just know I didn't want to wait until closer to the wedding because I figure the longer we have the more chance we have that everyone will be a closer cohesive unit.
We had both the families come to our new townhome over the summer for a cookout. Just the immediate families. We had just gotten our new puppy so he played as a wonderful conversation starter. It went really well. Now our mom's email each other back and forth about the wedding. It is really sweet. My advice, just do it. Keep the location/setting light so there is no pressure. I am very happy that they have already met as this will be one less stress come the week of the wedding.
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