- 6 years ago
I’ll try to condense…
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I moved in together after 1 year (I’m 33 and he’s 37), on the proviso we’d get engaged soonish.
After nine months of living together I sat him down and explained that I wasn’t willing to wait forever and was upset that I was still a live-in girlfriend when I never wanted to be one. We argued out a timeline which was get engaged by xmas, and married this year.
He spent tonnes of money on me at xmas, but no enagagement ring. I brought it up after NYE and he told me he’d been confused and thought I meant get married and engaged this year. Yeah right.
He found me out house hunting to buy by myself, so I explained that part of my plan for this year was to buy a place. And obviously I’d thought we were going to be engaged, and that I wasn’t going to buy with a Boyfriend or Best Friend (been there, done that, still paying the debt).
He realised I was serious so said he’d take me out ring shopping, after giving me a speech thanking me for getting him up off his a**e and for giving him all the love and support I have over the last two years.
We went ring shopping – he joked all afternoon about getting something cheap and that he was only doing it because I’d ‘had a paddy’. The first shop we went to he found the cheapest ring and said he liked that, so we went home.
I said I wanted to look at antiques which he said we could, then the weekend we were supposed to he decided he wanted to go shoe shopping instead. The weekend after something came up with his friends.
Yesterday we were shopping for food and he put a vday card in my basket to buy for me, then told me he’ll be out late tonight working.
I feel like he’s dragging his heels, and that’s not the way I wanted it to happen. I feel ready to leave – but he’s told me we’ll have to split if I move out. I’m 34 soon – I spent 7 years in my last relationship waiting for somebody – somebody who never wanted to marry me anyway.
My parents even questioned two weeks ago that he spent all that money at xmas and no ring. I now feel like everyone else is thinking the same thing.
How do you know when to call it a day or when someone is stringing you along? How do you not make the mistake of your life?