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We are in the same boat. We are getting married at Sunset Beach in Montego Bay. My Fiance's parents want to stay at Sandals because they are preferred members. Everyone else is staying at the hotel with us. We did offer to pay the day fee but they told us that would pay since THEY were the ones who were changing plans. I think anybody outside of the wedding party would be out of luck if I had to pay.
@kristiew417: I dont know what the etiquette gods would say, but I really think it depends. Obviously, on the amount of people, a small number won't be too bad. But also the reason they're staying elsewhere. Like PP said, FI's parents had a preference so they are paying, but if there isn't really any huge reason other than a significant price drop I wouldn't offer to foot the bill for the pass, at the same time I have no idea how much they run, I'm speaking hypothetically.
i almost had this issue. i had my wedding in Jamaica and guest passes were $75 for guests not staying at the resort (which resort are you getting married at btw?). In the end, the one couple that considered staying elsewhere ended up staying at our resort, but before that happened, i had decided i would pay them. But I was stressed about as it would have been $150! So i understand how expensive it can get if you have multiple guests doing this.
I would examine other potential options. Like negotiating with the resort. They want you to be happy and you are spending money on your wedding at the resort so they may be willing to accommodate you. honestly, if it is a small number of guests that need passes and you have a relatively large group already at the resort, i may go the route of not even mentioning it to the resort and maybe they won't notice!
Hi - thank you all for your comments. We are staying at Secrets Wild Orchid. And according to the website - its $95 per person for daily guests passes. I had offered to already pay for one couple - they already have two other trips planned - so they were unsure of a third trip.
I understand that its an expensive trip to Jamaica - but I would NEVER ask the bride or her family to pay for the guests passes. At the moment they haven't "asked" but I have a feeling it is going to come down to that. One already asked if our resort would waive the fee. Like that is going to happen.
@MASPA - our resort is a bit pricey - but Sandals Montego Bay was up there too. We only considered Sandals and Secrets. I have no idea where they are considering staying - but they are the ones saving money.
@purpleunicorn - we are having a small wedding so I am sure they will notice. I am only sending out 20 invites and I am quite sure that alot arent coming. Like I mentioned earlier - we just decided to do this....my mom gave me the guilt trip of having a destination wedding...so we didnt make any plans for the first 6 months of our engagement. I understand that we didnt give much notice to our guests, but I dont think my guests should expect me to absord the guest fees when they are saving money at a cheaper resort.
I will keep you all posted....thanks again!!
@kristiew417: i guess i feel different because you chose one of the most expensive resorts. I wanted a DW too but i went into knowing it was a partly selfish decision. but i was conflicted because i also wanted people to come. so my mission was to make it as cheap as possible for my guests. we therefore chose to get married at a budget friendly resort to accommodate our guests (sunset Beach Resort, actually right next door to Secrets!) and then we splurged on our honeymoon at a couples resort in Negril. So basically if our guests stayed elsewhere, they would be staying in something super crappy that i would not have felt okay about asking them to stay there (like a 2 star) OR something fancier/more expensive. but even then, i didn't feel right about charging them guest pass fees. i was lucky it worked out - but if need be, i would have have given up one of the "extras" in my wedding to cover the guest pass fees. i could have given up for example, the extra hour of the bonfire, the extra tier of cake, something like that to pay for it. or went over budget, but that wasn't really an option for us as we were altready maxed out on how far over budget we could go.
ETA: i basically think that guests can expect the couple to pay their guest pass fees, because i see it as no different as someone having a local wedding and then charging people to come to the venue. And worse, after they already paid over $1000 in travel/accommodation fees to get there (so I don't see how they are saving money).
@PurpleUnicorn - I dont have a problem paying for a couple or even two couples - but I have this sneaky feeling that its going to be more than 2 (we could be talking like 5 couples = $1000) This does equals the extra layer of cake, bonfire, upgrade flowers, AND anything else that we decide to do for our day. I am not saying I don't want these people to come and I am not saying I wont pay for them but I think they should also keep in mind that they are only getting one day to spend with us; should they choose to stay somewhere. AND if I would pay for their guest pass fees for the wedding day - I will not be able to pay for them to come to a welcome dinner the night before or any of the activites that I might plan. So unfortunately they will attend the day of the wedding and then we wont see them again.
At this point I dont have any idea who is or isnt coming - so I am probably over thinking this whole thing. For my sake, lets hope so cuz honestly this was supposed to be less stressful (and more fun) than planning a traditional wedding!
@kristiew417: well i wouldn't stress about it too much until it actually happens. like i said, this almost happened to me with one couple as they told me they were looking into other resorts. In the end, they chose ours. Also keep in mind that some people are going because they are taking advantage and making it a vacation for themselves, while getting to attend your wedding. They may not want to spend everyday with the group as they want their own personal vacation time for themselves.
Also, something i learned through planning was that until someone is actually physically booked, i wouldn't count them as coming. I had tons of people tell me they were definitely coming, they were so excited to come, etc...And I believe they meant it. But when it came down to booking, they realized it was not so simple. so i was disappointed when i got all these "no's" from people i thought were "yes". it was funny because when we first planned it, i only expected a handful of people to come, like 8-10. Then we had over 30 people tell us they were coming when in reality I ended up with 15 guests - technically double than what i first expected before my expectations were increased.
oh something else to think about - your guests may not necessarily be purposely and knowingly expecting you to pay their guest pass fees. When i told that couple who attended my wedding that if they stay elsewhere it was fine as i would take care of the guest passes, they responded with they had no idea there would be a fee a guest pass and offered to cover it themselves if it came down to it. (i of course replied and said don't be ridiculous, i am inviting you and i will cover it!). but at the time, i was secretly stressed over the extra money i would have to spend. I brought it up on weddingbee too and lots of bees replied saying they would not have guessed that a pass would be so expensive!
@PurpleUnicorn - thanks, I feel a little better. I hope people take the opportunity to make it into a vacation. I dont plan to have an activity to do the entire time - heck I dont want to spend every minute with all of these people either (LOL). But if we have a welcome dinner and then maybe brunch the day after the wedding, I dont want people to miss out. We are going to have a good time and whoever comes, comes and whoever doesn't is MISSING OUT! LOL Thanks for your advice!
Are the guest passes for the purpose of allowing your guests to use the beach and beach chairs, pool, and other amenities and services on the grounds of the resort after your wedding ends, or are they actually required just for your guests to be able to attend your ceremony and reception on the property?
I am a Destination Bride too... I think that the guests should pay and that you should make them well aware of the fee before your wedding
It sounds like you're staying at a really nice, but expensive, resort. Isn't it possible that the reason some guests want to stay elsewhere is that they can't afford the resort your wedding is at? They might be "saving money" but they could be struggling financially. The extra $95 could be a financial burden they aren't able to bear. If you make the guests pay, you might have some people that back out of coming to the wedding for financial reasons.
Often, people who are tight on money don't talk about it and other don't realize how bad things really are.
I am doing a DW in Jamaica as well , if anyone decides to stay at a more cost effective resort I would be offering to pay for their day passes as a thank you for making international trip to share that special day with us . We chose a 5 star resort , guests shouldnt feel obligated to have those same accomodations.
Personally, I think you should pay for guest passes. Even if guests stay at a cheaper resort, they will still be paying a lot of money to attend your wedding, possibly much more than they would normally spend on a vacation, so to ask them to then pay even more on top seems quite rude to me.
I would speak to the resort. We saw a lot of weddings while in Mexico this year, and it seemed like guests didn't have to have passes, BUT if they didn't have a pass, they could only attend the wedding (so they couldn't say, use the bar after, or use the restaurants or pool; they were only allowed to attend the ceremony and reception and eat the food and drink provided by the bride and groom). I would imagine that most resorts would have a similar policy, as otherwise, what would be a reasonably-priced wedding would soon become expense, and it would put people off.
Failing that, they may be able to offer a group discount or deal, so negotiate.
If you cannot afford to pay for day passes, then you need to make this clear on the invites that there will be an extra cost of x amount pp, as this could influence people's decisions on where to stay (eg someone might be looking at a resort that isn't nearly as nice but will be $200 pp cheaper for 5 nights, but if they have to pay $95 pp for a day pass, they might decide to find the extra $105 and just stay there the whole trip)
I don't think you should have to pay for their guest passes, but I do think that you should let them know that up front. Or on a website or something.
@Brielle - the fee is unlimited use of the property for the day.
@June232012 - I have already started a site and plan to announce it just as soon as I get my save the dates back. They are taking too long, I am getting impatient.
@gallway111 - I am not asking anyone to put themselves into a financial hole just too attend our wedding. I would expect them to decline our RSVP.
@barbie86 - I want people to treat this as their vacation too and I would hope they would choose our resort - as if they were going on their own vacation. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens.
@kristiew417: So, does that mean the guests would be able to attend your wedding and reception WITHOUT you, or they, having to pay the fee?
I would actually make it known ahead of time, that while you sincerely hope that all guests would stay at the same resort as you, should they choose to stay elsewhere the resort in which your wedding will take place will have a $xx per person fee that must be collected.
i have to admit, i am really surprised by some of the replies here! i just don't get charging people a fee to come into your wedding! this would never happen at a local wedding, how is it okay to ask people to pay a fee after they have already spent so much to get to the destination?
@PurpleUnicorn: I agree with you. I've been trying to get the OP to clarify if the fee is required for her guests to actually attend her ceremony and reception -- if so I think she absolutely needs to pay for that -- or if the fee would only been required for her guests to later be able to do all kinds of other non-wedding-related activities on the resort property, such as use the pool and beach, have access to beach chairs and umbrellas and non-motorized watersports equipment, etc.
If the fee is needed only to permit her guests to do all of these other, non-wedding-related activities on the property, I don't think she is obligated to pay for them to do that, since they are already choosing to stay at another resort and can go there after her wedding and reception are over to use the amenities on their own property. But, if they cannot even set foot on the property to attend her wedding without the fee being paid, then I think she and her FI must pay for that. To expect a couple to have to shell out ANOTHER almost $200 on top of all of the other destination-related expenses is akin to charging her guests admission to attend her wedding and reception, and that is just not appropriate.
@Brielle - according to the material I was sent - guest not staying at the resort are required to have a guest pass.
@kristiew417: Wow, Kristie, I am so sorry to hear that. I was hoping that the fee would only be required if your guests wanted to use the pool or beach, etc. after your wedding events had concluded.
This situation definitely puts you in a very tough spot. Unfortunately, I don't think you can ask your guests to pay that fee regardless of the amount involved; however, perhaps you could find a subtle way to encourage all of your guests to stay at the property where you are getting married. If some still choose to stay elsewhere, I think you are going to need to cover that fee. :(
I really hope this all works out well for you!
@Brielle - thanks. I will let you know how it works out. I, too, dont want my guests to have to spend any more mney - but I don't either. Hoping everyone realizes the extra money to stay at Secrets will be worth it in the end.
@kristiew417: are you able to get group rates? that might be one way to encourage your guests to stay at the same resort? i wasn't able to do that as i didn't have enough people coming in from one location to do a group package. like i know there are often groups packages to book airfare adn hotel together. so you would all be travelling at the same time as well.
@PurpleUnicorn - we asked the travel agent and I dont think that we will have enough for a group rate. I know if we get a certain number to book at the resort - we (Bride and Groom) get a free night or two - but that doesnt really help our guests.
I recently got engaged, moved out of state from my family and am now considering a destination wedding. Myfamilyisnt too happy about it because of the costs to guests. I was actually looking into a wedding at the same resort, wild orchids montage bay!! If you don't mind me asking, do you know the average amount per guest including airfare? Did you get any discounts with multiple rooms? This resort is beautiful!!
@Lar16477 - Congratulations - we are very excited for our trip to Secrets this coming May. I have had friends and family stay at one of the Secrets Resorts in Mexico and they all said it was the best trip they have ever taken. With that, I dont mind answering your questions. I think the price per couple for 4 days and 3 nights is about $2400 - half of the cost is the airfair. We are working with a travel agent and from what he told me there really arent any discounts unless you book a lot of rooms. We are trying to keep this a small wedding so I think if everyone we invited comes, we (me and my FI) might get a free night or two - not really sure but I did read something on the secrets website about group discounts. I didnt inquire any futher - as of right now I only know of four rooms being booked, so if my number get to 10 or more, then I will inquire and I can let you know what I find out.
Before we decided on Wild Orchid - we did price out two Sandals resorts and they were a little cheaper per person (maybe $100-$200 cheaper per night). We also didnt want guests to have to travel far from the airport - so we stuck with Montego Bay. I was skeptical in booking a wedding at some place that had little to no info or pictures on a wedding. We could not make a trip ahead of time to check things out either, so I really had to rely on wesbites - and by far theirs looked the best! Sure we could have picked a cheaper resort - but this is where we want to get married. Stick to your guns, hopefully your family will understand your desire to have a DW and just go with the flow.
I realize that this is far after the topic has wrapped up and I'm just exploring the various threads and tribulations of a destination wedding, but there's no way I could ask guests to pay to attend the actual ceremony. I don't mean understanding that they are already having to pay to travel, I mean putting a pricetag on entry to the ceremony.
"I, too, dont want my guests to have to spend any more mney - but I don't either."
I think you have to remember that you chose the resort with the expensive day fee, the guests did not pick the site with the high day pass fees or (possibly) the higher room rates than what can be found elsewhere. Essentially, you're putting people in a position where they have to pay up one way or another if they want to attend your ceremony.
One of our possible locations is a national park, and we would put an entry pass to the park in their welcome bags just to avoid the appearance of having an entry fee to our ceremony. Granted, it's only $10/car and not $95/person, but I recognize that if we choose this location, it's our choice and guests shouldn't have to pay above and beyond the trip out to attend.
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Hi Bees! My FI and I are getting married in Jamaica in May and I was wondering if anyone ran into guests staying at other resorts wanting guests passes for the day of the wedding....who should pay for them? Should the bride and groom or the guests? I would have no problem paying for two people - but I have a feeling that there could be more people staying at a different resort and these guest pass fees could add up quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!