Post # 1
I’ve had 5 months now with no forward movement. Part of me says SO is waiting until after his bro’s wedding. I’m kinda ok with it- only amonth away. But I’m starting to fear he’ll start saying he wants to wait until after my bro’s wedding (end of December)….I won’t tolerate that… My patience is being pushed and its not reinforcing my love for him. Its making me feel like I’m not that important to him or something. IDK my mind is just wandering all over today and its not helping me.
During the ‘wait’ did anyone else almost feel like they were almost losing interest?
Post # 3
@jpalm13: Breathe love. I know how you feel, my SO has had the ring for 5 months now. I think he’s waiting til our anniversary next month, if it’s after that, I will go nuts. Honestly, I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s not soon. So yeah :/ One day at a time. ((Hugs))
Post # 4
It’s hard to answer your question without knowing more details. In my case, I never had to “wait” for any amount of time – our relationship just flowed naturally all along.
How long have you been together? Have you discussed marriage in depth? What are your ages? There are a lot of factors at play when it comes to a proposal, a wedding and marriage.
If you’re losing interest, are you losing interest in waiting for a proposal or are you losing interest in him? If my FI had wanted to wait overly long to propose I would have wanted to know what his reasons were.
Post # 5
@Sunfire: Losing interest in waiting- not him. Been together about 1.5 yr now. We have discussed it a lot and he’s said he wants to marry me and it p*sses me off that nothing has happened yet…still. I”m 24 and he’s 31. When we last talked about it he wanted to have a new job first. He’s pretty much accepted that nothings going to happen yet given our state’s economy and there’s no telling when it’ll come back. I feel like he hasn’t done anything but continue to sit on his hands and its taking a huge toll on me. It does not help that I’m surrounded by other people getting married right now.
Post # 6
First off, I know how you feel! I haven’t been waiting that long, but we’ve been together about the same amount of time. All the pieces are there and now, it’s my turn to wait and the ball is in his court.
Have you specifically talked to him about a general timeline? It’s difficult to wait for an unspecified amount of time and the best way to cure that is to make sure you’re both on the same page. I think it’s relatively normal to get bored/lose interest/get frustrated during the waiting part of this whole thing. The best thing I’ve heard to help is to find hobbies or stay busy. Do things that make you happy! Focusing on the waiting makes it much worse. I also think it comes in waves. Sometimes you’ll feel content waiting and other times you’ll feel like its unbearable. There was a VERY good post last week about “happily waiting” that really helped me. The OP basically said she had decided that she was missing out on a lot of things, including how amazing and wonderful her SO was because she was too focused on the waiting. If you can find that thread, you should read it. Hope this helps!
Post # 7
You’re only 24 and you’ve only been together a year and a half. If I were a guy, I would assume that meant it wasn’t a huge rush.
If it’s bothering you enough to effect your relationship, you owe it to him to discuss it.
Post # 8
I think we all have hard days at times and get frustrated with waiting. I would only suggest that you share your thoughts with him if it is really affecting your relationship.