- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I never was a pushover my entire life, but I guess because I spent a lot of the last few years behind a desk, I lost a lot of my interpersonal skills and am now definitely shy, a pushover, and am scared to state my opinion. We have been “settling” for a lot lately and I feel bad partly because I’m too scared of speaking up. I am so self-conscious, I’m afriad of the vendors we’re working with to judge me or think I’m being a “bridezilla” or I feel like I’m probably the most annoying bride they’ve ever worked with.
Anyway, a lot of things our planner (she also does design) presents us, I like, but don’t love (it just isn’t us), and I just say “oh so pretty” instead of just stating that I don’t like it. We got the planner because we are busy and don’t have time for everything with our busy lives and thought it would help. She actually is saving us a lot of money in the end, but she seeks out all our vendors and is the one to mostly talk to them, we only talk to the vendors when necessary for specific details. I’m starting to realize that I would’ve preffered a lot more control over our wedding since we are also big-time DIYers, and this whole sitting back and having someone else do stuff for us is making us too anxious. All we can do at this point is speak up for things we want vs dont want, except like I said, I’m having a hard time doing that.
Even now with our photographer, she went out of her way to accomodate us into a trip she was already making to shoot another bride, but she keeps pushing for a set place and I’m just like “okay” and my FH is all like “STOP, you have to put your foot down and tell her how it is and where you want to take pictures.”
I can’t help it 🙁 All this asking for stuff and being in the spotlight is very different than my normal life, and I’m not used to telling people to do stuff for me, I’m usually the one that is being told what to do. Also with the planner, we almost feel like we should’ve planned the wedding ourselves because we are realizing that at least that way I could’ve gotten exactly what I wanted and wouldn’t have to feel bad telling someone I didn’t like something they proposed to me, becuase I would be the one directly contacting all the vendors.
Any advice, consolation from other brides like myself?