Post # 1
Hive, help! I am having some issues choosing my bridal party. My FH and I have decided to do 6 on each side. He would have preferred 7 or 8 I think because he has so many close guy friends, but I explained that I want even numbers and that 8 is way too many.
I have a solid 4 and the other two were going to be my teenage cousins that I lived with for several years so I am very close to them. My FH expressed some reservations about having teenagers in the wedding party with primarily 30-somethings, and also pointed out that I would have less help with the planning and the girls would have less support with the bridal shower and bachelorette party since they would essentially just be standing up there with me on the big day. So since I had been talked out of having my cousins I needed to fill two more bridal party slots.
One was easy, I decided on a work friend from my last company who I stay in close contact with, and could easily make more of an effort to spend time with. The last spot has been difficult. I don’t have a solid pick. I have one friend who is about to have her second baby and I know is not in a good financial position to be accepting a place in a bridal party. The other is a friend I was very close with a year ago, but had a falling out with a couple of months ago. We have since tried to make things better and reestablish our friendship, and she has a ton of experience in bridal parties and would be a huge help to me, but I worry that the way she treated me when we stopped being friends could crop up again, and also she tends to have a negative attitude and I don’t really need negativity around me on my wedding day. But I don’t really know what to do about my 6th spot! I don’t know what to do guys, have you had any difficulty choosing your bridal party? How did you choose
Post # 3
@LabDarling: Don’t worry! Think about it this way: your wedding is not a “show,” it’s the establishment of a lasting loving relationship. It’s not about whether or not it’s even on each side. You don’t want to be disingenuous having women stand up for you that are not your close friends. Do you really just want to “fill spots?” I’d venture to guess that authenticity is more important to you and your FI. Your photos will be beautiful no matter how many people you have in your bridal party because you will RADIANT and DRAMA-FREE with EXACTLY the people you cherish the most. Let it go. You don’t need to fill this spot and you especially don’t need to fill it with someone that you aren’t feeling 100% solid about. save yourself the headache and heartache and just let your day be full and complete with whom you’ve chosen.
Post # 4
oh, i wasn’t going to have bridesmaids originally. we really didn’t want the headache. my son is going to be FIs best man and i asked my middle sister to be my MOH. i ended up asking my two other sisters to be bridesmaids and FI asked his two brothers to be groomsmen. our friends are invited but are not in the wedding party so that we could keep it small.
even without being bridemaids i have wonderful girlfriends who have offered with no prompting from me to help in any way i need and so far they have.
Post # 5
Why did you let your FI talk you out of having your cousins? If you are close to them and want them to be bridesmaids, who cares if they can’t join in the bachelorette party. It should be more about who you want with you on your day than who can give the most money toward parties or whatever.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
I guess we do bridal parties a bit differently over here – teenage bridesmaids wouldn’t be a problem at all! And with four adults already organising stuff, would you really miss having the two pairs of hands? If they’re important to you, it makes sense to me to have your cousins instead of just trying to ‘fill spaces’.
Post # 7
I would pick whoever you want for your bridal party – cousins, teenagers, coworkers, friends – whoever YOU want standing next to you. The numbers don’t have to match your fiance’s. Don’t let him talk you out of anyone!
I would also advise not picking someone you had a major falling-out with, when the friendship doesn’t seem like it’s back at the same spot. If you have reservations about how she’ll act, that’s probably a red flag that you shouldn’t have her in the BP.
Post # 8
You’re all right. I was thinking aesthetics over intention. Ultimately I decided to have my cousins give a reading during the ceremony so that they can be a part of things, but I also decided to forego asking the friend that I was concerned about. I don’t want anyone standing up there with me that I don’t feel is a genuine 100% friend with the interest of my happiness on my wedding day at heart. Thanks for the advice ladies 🙂