Having a lot of anxiety about daycare. Need your words!

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We toured several daycare facilities, and the only one we even considered was simply too expensive 🙁  So, we asked around and found a nice lady who watches 2 or 3 kids in her home.  She lives only a mile away, is less expensive than the facility, and is good friends with my aunt (they had nannied for each other over the years). 

I still worry about the baby!  I worry that nobody else will love her as much as I do and nobody else will take care of her EXACTLY the way I do.  I suppose these are normal feelings though. 

When I pick her up I can see that she’s happy/content- she has been fed, has a clean diaper, clean clothes, isn’t fussy or agitated.  She does get a bit fussy in the evenings if she didn’t nap well during the day, but other than that she seems to be more or less unaffected by being in someone else’s home during the day.

Sorry, I wish I had more advice for you but I’m pretty new to the parenthood thing.  Best of luck 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2740 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Commenting to follow.  DS starts daycare next week.

Post # 6
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think daycare is a critically important part of being socialized as a child. Independence is important. Your child will know they are loved – it’s only 3 days a week, and it’s not like they are there 24 hrs a day.

Post # 7
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@loveknows:  I was a nanny for a long time. I can’t say that I cared as much as the child’s own mother – that would be crazy – but it was my job and I took it very seriously. Often the working moms would be too tired to take the kids to the part or do other fun activities with them, but I always did. I did more with them than their own mothers! I even had one child who called me mom instead of her own mother and she would cry when I left. There are a lot of child care professionals who really do care, I promise you of that.

I am not a mother, so I can’t speak from that perspective. I know I will be disappointed that I can’t stay home with my children because FI and I have already decided that we need to two incomes to maintain our quality of life. I have to work and I know that it is the best choice for us, but that doesn’t make it easy. I was even anxious about putting our furbaby in daycare! He met a lot of doggy pals and he has a blast. I hope that translates to my real kids 😛

 

Post # 8
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It really depends on the center its self.  My son goes to a licensed in home day care. He definately is loved by the provider and the kids who go there. I hear all the time how the kids love him how cute he is when doing things.  I have seen it myself with the kids and with her.  I still worry about him though cause well he is my little guy and love him so much.

 

Post # 9
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I love our daycare….. its out of their home, and they truly love my daughter, is it always one on one? no, but if you have another child it won’t be either!! lol!! I think the small at home daycares are great, it gives you socialization and comfort.

Post # 10
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh and also I worked in a daycare center, and I loved all my kids.  Even the evil little twins I had when I was there. I worked with 1.5 to 2 year olds. 

Post # 11
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hey Mama, I know how you’re feeling.  I worked nights until my daughter was 5 months old and then my job was switched to days and DD had to start going to daycare.  I was so crushed and worried.  I was really lucky in that I found a wonderful woman (through hubby’s work friend) who did in-home daycare (licensed).  At first, she was watching my daughter, her two-year-old daughter, and an 18-month-old girl.  After a few months, it was just my daughter and her daughter.  I was also lucky that for the first six months (until they moved) I was actually able to visit my daughter on my lunch hours.  She had a wonderful, nurturing environment, which included school-type lessons (age appropriate); she was safe and loved.  She stayed for three years, which was supplemented, at age 2 1/2, with part-time nursery school, transitioning in to full-time nursery school at age 3.  I am still friends with woman, years later. 

Post # 12
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

This isn’t from a mother’s point of view, but rather a child’s.  My siblings and I were all in daycare until we started kindergarten, and we grew up happy and well-adjusted.  We never felt like our parents didn’t love us enough.  We made friends, learned how to read, and enjoyed it a lot.  Even when we were little we understood that our parents worked, we went to daycare/school, and at the end of the day we’d all come together.  So I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

Post # 13
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have no experience with daycare but my sister’s son has been in daycare since he was 3 I believe (he’s in K now) and he is so smart and well adjusted.  There are some things going on with him now personally that has nothing to do with him having been in daycare but when he was there he flourished. He’s very sociable and loving.

Post # 14
Member
6740 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have used in-home licensed daycare for both my girls.  They love it.  The daycare provider becomes like an aunt to them.  MY older daughter who turns 10 in 2 weeks still talks about the woman who watched her from birth to 4 years.

Post # 15
Member
4540 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

I work at a daycare, with the 10-16 month olds, and we love them to bits. I don’t have my own kids yet, but, when I do, I’ll definitely be putting them in a daycare at least part-time. 

Post # 16
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t have a kid in daycare but I used to work in one.

 

For most kids, daycare is either a non-issue or a good thing. Some kids (not saying yours will be) are WAY spoiled at home and act like little monsters around mommy or daddy but do much better in daycare where there is structure. Some of them NEED naps, and don’t get them at home!

 

Most kids don’t seem to mind daycare one way or the other… and they often have a lot of fun with the other kids. It IS a good thing to socialize your child this way if he/she is an only child. 

 

A word of caution: if you go to a bigger “center” instead of a small home daycare or a smaller center… MAKE SURE you know which teacher your child is with ALL DAY.

 

Because at the daycare where I worked they would switch the kids around between classes to save on labor costs (they would combine classes and send the LEAD teacher home early, and have a part-time person there alone with the kids sometimes).  Also, I would find a center which puts AT LEAST 2 teachers in all rooms at all times, no matter what the state-allowed “ratio” of kids-to-teacher is. Sometimes I was in a room by myself with EIGHT 2-yr-olds, and while I did the best I could, sometimes I felt there was no way I could watch them all adequately AND do things like serve food and help with potty or change a diaper. The room set-up was NOT conducive to keeping an eye on all kids at all times.

 

The daycare where I worked was a well-rated, more expensive one in my area. LOTS of doctors and lawyers kids were in my classes. It was a horrible place to work, not well-managed, with high turnover, but was licensed by the state so it DID have to follow regulations and the kids were GENERALLY very well taken care of and loved by the lead teachers. The reason I quit was because lead teachers would be sent home, and then blamed if something happened with one of the kids while they were not there (because, of course, the parent’s assumed they were with the kids at all times).

 

Sometimes, the daycare manager would cheat at naptime and sleep TWICE as many kids as the appropriate ration in one room, with just ONE teacher while the other ate lunch off the clock. TECHNICALLY this was illegal, because there has to be the appropriate ratio of teachers to kids at all times – at naptime, the other teacher HAS to be readily available to come help if there is an emergency. This DID NOT HAPPEN at our daycare. If we needed something, we had to try to find the secretary at lunch.

 

How old is your daughter? I would feel fine putting my child over 1 year in a daycare (would prefer 2yrs+ myself), but the really young babies do tend to be sick a LOT, since the same workers have to care for them in one room all day. Even when cleaning CONSTANTLY, the air just has germs :-/

 

I don’t mean to scare you away from daycare… at some point, I will probably use one myself. Just make sure you check up on them often for the first 6 months. Come at unexpected times (or send a family member or sitter) to see where you kid is, who they are with, how they are doing. Most centers have a one-way window that lets your “spy” on the kids/teacher during the day. Make use of it! Let them know you are involved and you expect the best. If you suspect ANYTHING, find another daycare, or go in with a friend/coworker and hire a nanny.

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