Post # 1
At the moment I’m an emotional wreck I have 9 months to plan my wedding that is going to be in New Zealand I have never been there but that is where my FH is from the only people that can affor to come are my sister and my mum although I am paying for my mum. I have 4 sisters one of which won’t take to me because of my wedding location choice and 4 brothers. So basically I have 2 bridesmaids my sister and my FH’s Sister so everyone attending the wedding I don’t know and is makes me feel realy nervous. I am planning it alone but have had offers from The bridesmaids to help but I can’t think of anything for them to do I just want everything to be perfect But I can’t keep doing everything alone it’s stressing me out so much that I haven’t eaten in days. Then there is the bucks night and my FH has told me there will be half a dozen strippers there and I’m freaking out about it I have this sick feeling and feel like I’m going to cry every time I think about it. At this point I don’t want a hen’s night I don’t even think I want a wedding anymore I thought getting married was ment to be a happy time but I have never been so depressed
Post # 3
Post # 4
Alright, first of all if you aren’t ok with strippers at the bucks night, tell him that. Not all couples are ok with strippers.
If you are having a tough time with everything, then you really do need to delegate. I am a control freak and would really rather not have anyone else messing around with my wedding ideas, but if you are stressed and are having a tough time coping, then it’s time to realise that your happiness is more important than if everything is ‘perfect’. A helpful tip: do NOT aim for perfection. Personally, I think that may be part of why the rustic theme is so huge right now- the idea is for things to have an ‘imperfect’ look. I’ve always found that with really important things (even a heading for a school project) that trying to make things perfect never ended well and never measured up to the idea in my head, but when I tried to make things look imperfect it came out great. I could tru for hours to do my neat, small writing for a heading and it would come out funny because I had tried so hard, but if I did a more ‘fun’ kind of font then it would look great. Don’t try to make your wedding perfect, it either won’t be as beautiful as the image in your head, or you’ll go crazy making everything just right.
I don’t know what to say about the issue of not knowing anyone at the wedding, that really sucks. Maybe you could go for a short trip to meet his family before the big day, or have another reception ain your home town?
Post # 5
Is there any way you can do two ceremonies – one where you could have your family attend & the other in NZ? Can you enlist of Fiance to take over a couple big tasks in the planning? As for strippers, talk to him about that calmly and explain why you’re uncomfortable with it. I know strippers are the norm, but no one like the thought of their Fiance at a stripper bachelor party.
Before you doanything though, get some rest and sleep. Give yourself three days where you don’t do any wedding planning. Take that time to recharge and remind yourself why you want to marry your Fiance. If your depression is serious go speak with acounsellor or therapist. Weddings can be super stressful and marriage is a huge change. I think it’snormal for you to feel the way you do.
Post # 6
Thank you for the input everyone
to hisnightowl2014 yes I do love his so much. We dated when I was 18 and he had to move back to nz for medical reasons but for 10 year we always kept in contact but never saying how we really felt about each other out of respect for the relationships we had at the time. I have never trusted any guy I have dated but there was never any doubt in my mind that I could trust him and I feel completely comfortable with him. He is the Prince Charming that every girl dreams of and even after so many years I still feel the same about Him.
i really think that was the one question I needed someone to ask me I realise now it not about the wedding and having everything perfect its about the rest of our life and I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else but him
thank you some much guys I realy do feel a lot better