(Closed) Having a terrible waiting day, Bees…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@1stRosie:  I feel for you & I’m sure it will turn out okay.  It sounds like he’s really pushing the waiting- I mean, to me the end of the summer is the end of August but on paper it’s not til the end of September!  So, maybe it would help if you didn’t know the plan b/c then you won’t get so anxious about it.

I had to re-read a few times to understand your comments about his ex-wife b/c at first I was like, omg, it’s really mean to say someone looks pregnant if they are not!

Post # 5
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

*Hugs* I am sorry things are getting so rough for you.

So what if she is preggers. Who cares?! It’s not by him so it doesnt matter.

My advice, if you want to take it, is to be upfront with your SO about where you guys stand on kids between now and the next 1-3-5 years. Men, i feel, aren’t as interested in marraige as they are about children. To them, children would be the next step, especially if you are living together already. Get his honest oppinion and make sure it has NOTHING to do with whether his Ex is pregnant.

hope your situation gets resolved and if not have a glass of wine

Post # 7
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Hugs!! I would be just as upset as you! I’d tell him ” Your EX wife is so lucky, She got to marry you, and now she’s prego. Lucky her!”

Post # 8
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@1stRosie:  Then maybe it is time to have a convo about how YOU plan on getting knocked up. I told my SO I am not having any baby until EVERYONE in the family has the same last name. SO do the math.  If he want a baby in the next 3 years then you have got to get engaged asap so you can plan the wedding, get hitched, enjoy 6 weeks of pre-baby bliss before TTC. if he wants a baby in the next 5 years then you may have a bit of leh-way either in the time it take to get engaged or the time you will enjoy being baby-free before TTC.

I know my SO and I would like have at least 2 years alone as a wedded couple before TTC. We have a friend who got pregnant within the first month of marraige…no thank you.

You could always elope if you want to skip the time it takes to plan a wedding and enjoy being married w/o kids before trying.

Post # 10
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@1stRosie:  coming up to the deadline is so hard…honestly just get busy. I made plans to fall back on if it didn;t happen, and it didn’t so I had my plans and it was less hard. But the plans were just me doing stuff for myself and keeping busy so they would have worked either way. The hardest part is what you’ve said the biting your tongue to hold the comments in. Just keep biting so he can’t play the nagging card….good luck dudette!

Post # 11
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If you got pregnant right now then you, your SO and a male figure with a shot-gun are going to the courthouse….and you know what…I know a great many men who wouldn’t be so pissed off with that situation. For some men, having children is the next step. It’s a primitive hunter/gatherer thing. By no means, please do no not knock yourself up to get him to propose. But He may not feel the importance of the timeline (engagement, wedding, marraige, baby). He’s a lot older then you and is probably in a different headspace. You are within every right to explain to him that things have to go in a certain order for you to feel comfortable.

I really hope everything works out. *hugs*

Post # 12
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

@1stRosie:  omg knock up my ring finger first made me laugh out loud! Hang in there, I can’t imagjne how hard it would be to have an end in sight I would be going nuts! 

Post # 13
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have any particular advice except for… if you trust that it IS coming by the end of summer: LUCKY YOU ๐Ÿ™‚

You should be excited. I’m excited for you. haha

All you need to do is spend way too much time looking up photographer porfolios, making guest lists, seating arrangements. Take your mind off the actual engagement and get excited! and I agree, don’t go telling your SO about your findings… tell us ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
4703 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@1stRosie:  How insecure are you that you think your boyfriend doesn’t love you enough because he’s not asking you to marry him? Some couples spend their entire lives together, in love, and never get married. Marriage is not the most important thing in the world and being miserable and depressed waiting for is not the way to go.

Why would your boyfriend want to marry someone who nags and complains? Or someone who is planning a secret wedding without a groom..

Post # 15
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@KC-2722:  Where you coming in 5 months after the fact….

Post # 16
Member
4703 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  My sincerest apologies for commenting on something too late afterwards. Thank you for so eloquently pointing out my error.

Also, what’s the difference between *hugs* and hugs?

 

 

The topic ‘Having a terrible waiting day, Bees…’ is closed to new replies.

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