Post # 1
So I’m having the new baby in about 10 weeks and I’m worried about what to do with my oldest daughter while I’m in the hospital. She goes to daycare so it wouldn’t be a problem having her there during the day, but what should we do with her at night? She could go home with DH but then he wouldn’t be at the hospital (which isn’t really a big deal) we don’t have any family super close and while they all want to come visit, I think it will be easier for me to have people visit a week or so after the baby comes to I can recover (I’m having a c-section) and get used to having a baby again. Any advice from other moms would be super helpful!!
This is all new to me because I was single when I had DD and I was in the hospital and my parents were there 24/7 which made me really uncomfortable
Post # 3
@Ninteenthchance: my dad was home at night and while they were both at the hospital my dad’s family came to stay with us (i’m the oldest of 4…).
Post # 4
@Ninteenthchance: If you really want your husband to be at the hospital with you, then maybe you can ask just one family member to come for the first week, before others come and visit.
Post # 5
that is another problem because our condo is TINY. As in 800 square feet and there is really no room for people to stay!
Post # 6
My dad took leave from work to watch me when my younger sister was born and wasn’t at the hospital. But then, my parents were weird about the delivery room thing and he wasn’t present for my birth even though I was their first child.
Post # 7
We are lucky enough to have family nearby, so we will probably ask DH’s parents to stay at our house with our daughter when we go to the hospital with this one. Is that an option for you?
Post # 8
I think your best option is to have DD stay with your husband. It’s probably good to keep her routine as normal as possible as it’s really going to change when the new baby comes home.
Yes, he won’t be at the hospital(which you said is not a big deal) but you’re in great hands and will probably be sleeping/recuperating… not a lot for him to do.
If she doesn’t know your family (assumption as they don’t live close), I think it will be more disconcerting to her to be with people with whom she’s not familiar.
Best of luck!
Post # 9
I stayed with my grandparents when my sister was born, but that sounds like it’s not an option for you. I think best thing would just be to have your hubby go home with DD at night, like you said. You’ll probably be sleeping so much anyway, you wouldn’t know the difference if he was there or not. 😉
Post # 10
Hm, it sounds like this might not work for you, but when my older sister had her second (also by planned c-section) she had asked me and my little sister to stay at the house with her daughter…for the entire time that they were in the hospital.
It worked great, and we were thrilled and honored to do it. Her husband was back and forth from the house checking in (but slept at the hospital), and we were able to bring her daughter for small visits to the hospital to meet the new baby.
We left before they came back home. I do feel like this is one of those times where it’s more than okay to ask for help, and be selfish with your parameters (family needs to be gone before you get home from the hospital).
Post # 11
@Ninteenthchance: I’m going to ask DH to stay with DS at home if it’s overnight. It would be nice to have DH in the hospital with me, but I want things as normal as possible for DS- I don’t want him to think we are leaving him behind! This way he can have a fun sleepover with DH and they can come to the hospital to visit in the morning. I’m not doing a csection, so who knows how it will actually play out!
Post # 12
@Ninteenthchance: How old is your oldest? When my sister went into labor with baby #2 she called me at 4am to come to her house & be there when my niece woke up and to spend the day together. At the end of the day her paternal grandpa picked her up and she went and spent the night with them while my sis and BIL were in the hospital with the new baby. (obviously not an option for you.) I personally want DH in the hospital with me for my whole stay especially if we are having problems with recovery, etc and this is the only time it will just be the 3 of you before going home to be a family of 4. I would do 1 of 2 things, ask your closest/favorite family member to come to town the night before your c-section and stay at the house for the 2-3 days you are in the hospital. If you are close with this family member it won’t be awkward having them crash on your couch. On coming home day family member can go home or move to a hotel and do whatever until you are feeling up for visitors. How far away is your family?
Option 2, do you have any close friends who would be comfortable with DD spending the night with while you go have baby #2? Her day time routine could stay the same, daycare etc, just a sleep over in the evening.
Post # 13
when my brother was born, my mom brought me to a family friend’s house to spend the night or however long it needed. we also didn’t have any family in the area.
i was just under 3 years old.
i don’t remember this but the story i was told was: i gave my baby doll (that i slept with) to my mom to keep her company in the hospital until my brother was born. turned out i couldn’t sleep without in and in the middle of the night, the husband drove to the hospital to get my doll.
my brother was born with spina bifida (they didn’t know ahead of time) and i spent more time staying at this family’s house than originally planned until my grandmother was able to get into town to get me.
Post # 14
Do you have a neighbor you are friendly with? I would love to do someone the favor of babysitting while they are in labor.
Post # 15
You have 10 weeks, so I would start trying to find a great nanny. If you act now, you have time to interview some and have them get to know your daughter. It would be great to have a good nanny anyway! Then if you have someone you know and trust, they can come sleep on your couch if you and your husband are in the hospital overnight. They can also bring your daughter to the hospital when you are ready for her!
Post # 16
Is DD’s father an option? My cousin had her DD stay with her father when she had her second DD. Not sure if that is an option or not.
It may also be worth asking some friends if they can babysit. Your DD can be in daycare during the day, with a babysitter in the evening and your DH can come home just before bed time to tuck her in and stay the night. Your c-section will most likely be during the day, so he can be there for the main event and you can both get some sleep those first few days.