Having children & career: How did/will having children impact your career goals?

posted 2 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
1256 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I will probably be 26 or 27 when we start TTC. Next spring at the earliest. Children are easy to have in my field, I am a teacher. Good paid maternity leave, lots of sick time, matches children’s schedules once they hit school age, etc. I am not planning career goals around children. I will probably leave the field and be a stay at home mom. I may eventually go back into admin or work as a private autism consultant. I think I will be happy at that age in having kids but who knows! I am not super career driven and we do not need my income to be very comfy so that helps ease my mind. 

Post # 3
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • How old were you/will you be when you have children? I was 30 when I got pregnant and 31 when I had my first child. She’s 3 weeks old.
  • How did/will having a child impact your career goals? Before I got pregnant I was making a comfortable salary at a job that I loved and now I’m enjoying 6 months of maternity leave. My supervisor has already kept my position for me and has hired a temp until I return in January. All I wanted from my career was to not despise my job and work environment and make a comfortable salary to live comfortably, so having a child did nothing to hinder that. If anything, I appreciate the flexibility of my career more than ever now.
  • Did/are you planing children around your career goals? Yes and no. My husband and I just wanted to be stable with our careers and financial standing but other than that, we didn’t plan our next career moves beyond the stability.
  • Do you wish you had children at a different point in your career? (i.e., wish you were younger/older) Not at all. We could have easily started having children earlier in our lives but we enjoyed using our income on establishing a comfortable home and enjoying our time together with trips and vacations. I did have some health complications after delivery but I can’t say I can contribute that to age. I’m not THAT old and hypertension unfortunately runs in my family. No regrets
Post # 4
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

 

bmo88:  Great topic! And yes I do ponder this question a lot! FI loves kids, and so do I, but considering our career trajectories I just don’t see how I could justify having them anytime soon. A lot of things would have to fall into place..unless I had an “oops” baby once we are married. I’m about to begin my last year of my doctorate, and then hopefully, off I go to a 2 year residency-I currently do not know for sure if I will match into said residency, or where, until early next year, which makes this topic that much more  uncertain for me. Not to talk of my student loans… Theoretically, I’d like to have at least half my loans paid off, and have worked for about 2 years or more before I’d feel comfortable trying to conceive.<br /><br />I know I will probably start itching for kids a year or so into marriage, but that would place me right smack in the middle of my residency, and if I am not located by family during those two years, it may just be too stressful. There is also the fact that I don’t know how comfortable I am applying for positions in my field while pregnant…Considering all the unknowns right now, that places me at about 29 to start trying..

 

How would having a child impact my career goals? My goal is to eventually have my own practice, and I’d definetely want my children to attend great public schools, so it would probably force me to buy-in sooner and for FI and I to settle into a location so to speak.

Planning your children around career goals? Most definetely. I want my children to attend college debt free, and for them to have a comfortable start in life, so I have to make wise financial decisions to the best of my ability in my 20’s.

Do I wish I had children earlier? I’ll be 25 in November, and I just couldnt imagine having a baby right now. Just too many unknowns at this point in my life, many variables coming into play between FI and I’s careers. I feel settled enough to commit to him, but definetely not ready for a baby at this point.

Post # 7
Member
6609 posts
Bee Keeper

 

  • How old were you/will you be when you have children? Probably in my early 30s, engaged currently.
  • How did/will having a child impact your career goals? In my line of work, there are some very demanding areas and some less so. I chose an area that would still give me time for a life and my family.
  • Did/are you planing children around your career goals? I will be completing my postgrad training shortly after we get married, so I’d like to have time to dedicate to establishing my career before having to plan baby stuff.
  • Do you wish you had children at a different point in your career? (i.e., wish you were younger/older) I guess if you have kids at a younger age, you can enjoy your older middle age with the kids out of the nest. However, in my job, the time investment is very large in your 20s, so I think my plan is very good.

 

 

Post # 8
Member
1256 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

bmo88:  it’s nice you guys are in similar careers! My fiancé is in finance. Bitching isn’t as fun as he has no clue what I am talking about haha. And hey, the stars could align for that scenario! Ya never know. 😉

Post # 9
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

bmo88:  I totally hear ya on not wanting to take out more loans. I’m quite loan averse, and while I’m actually attending one of the cheapest programs in the country for my field, I’m still eager to pay them off quickly when I finally start earning some money. There are quite a few women who have had children while pursuing their degrees in my class, and I just have to applaud them. I wish I had their  low-stress personalities to be able to handle pregnancy and school at the same time!

<br />Thats great that you and your DH are in career paths that mesh well for raising a family. It really helps when time off is predictable and childcare could possibly be scheduled around that.

<br /><br />Grandparents always want to help and tend to be so eager for little ones dont they? If your mom could help out, that would be sooo helpful. Especially when its your first child, and you have so many questions and everything is so new! My mom had recently asked where FI and I were looking at staying and she insisted we stay relatively close by, cause she wanted to help once we started having kids, lol. But she is a full time career woman, she knows she doesn’t have time to be totting any babies around! lol My mom is still many, many years from retirement, so I know she just wouldnt have the time. FI’s church’s daycare may be an option, but only if I match to a program where I currently am, and he obtains employment in the same city..Otherwise, I’ll likely be pushing 30 before we start. I always wanted to have at least 1 before then, but sometimes, one just has to pick and choose. I chose this path, I guess I can’t lament it too much…

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  .
  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  .
Post # 10
Member
6502 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Baby boy 12/2015

bmo88:  Good topic for a thread.

How old were you/will you be when you have children?

I am currently in grad school and going for my doctorate degree, so I am far behind many bees when it comes to work experience. I am 29 and will probably finish my program when I am 30. We started TTC earlier this year and tried for baby #1 for about 7 months with no luck, so after some financial strains, we decided to pause TTC and resume once we become more financially stable, and I am either done with school or about to finish, not sure right now. That means I would probably be 31 or 32 when we have our first child. 

How did/will having a child impact your career goals?

Ideally, I would like to have been hired and had worked for a few months before I become pregnant. Given my age, I don’t think I can wait until I have X years of experience. If it take us longer to get pregnant, I guess I’ll end up with more experience and possibly have advanced more in my career, but it’s not something I’m looking to do before I start a family. We just want to be financially stable before we can start a family.

Did/are you planing children around your career goals?

Not really. I see both family and my career as a journey, sometimes it’s hard to say how it will end. I might never be able to have my own children or get such and such position. I know I’ll work hard for it and be persistant in achieving my goals, but I have no control over the outcome, infertility, illness, etc. 

Do you wish you had children at a different point in your career? (i.e., wish you were younger/older)

I am happy with my age. I do wish I had finished my degree right now or a year ago, so I could have had all this year to get into a stable job and start a family at 30. 30 is such a great age to start a family in my opinion!!!

 

Post # 12
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

How old were you/will you be when you have children?

I plan to be about 30 when we have our first child, which is a lot older than I anticipated being as a first time mom. You know what they say about the best laid plans though…I am doinng my best to go with the flow, but it’s very against my nature, lol.

How did/will having a child impact your career goals?

I currently work from home about 80 percent of the time, which I love. I have been head hunted to leave my company but my current arrangement makes it hard for any other company to entice me away. I could be at a higher level somewhere else, but I like the flexibility that my current company provides. Working from home will be ideal when we finally have children.

In this sense, it has impacted my career because I’m further behind than I need to be! However, I’m confident I will get there and even if it takes a bit longer, I’m generally okay with that. Both family and career are important and I am trying not to have one succeed at the expense of the other.

It’s unfortunate that women’s careers are generally the ones to suffer but I know many strong, successful executive women who also have families. It’s possible to have it all and that’s my plan – I may sacrifice sleep but not my children or my career.  

Did/are you planning children around your career goals?

Not exactly. I want to get myself in a good place career wise before we get pregnant because I know after kids I will be less willing to be the person working 24/7. I want to do as much of the grunt work now as I can. However, we do have a drop dead date so to speak. I don’t want to be an “old mom” and I already consider 30 a little late.

That means when I’m 50, my kids will be in their 20s (or teens!) and that’s not exactly how I imagined freedom 55. As far as I can get in the next couple of years career wise will have to become the natural break point. Taking a year off (I’m in Canada) is never ideal so I have to do what nature tells me to!  

Do you wish you had children at a different point in your career? (i.e., wish you were younger/older)

Career wise, no. I’m at an ideal place and making good money. Personally, sometimes. I wanted to have kids in my mid-twenties and for a whole slew of reasons (that are for the best), that didn’t work out for me.

Post # 13
Member
884 posts
Busy bee

I’m 32. I already have 2 children, one was born when I was 25 (unplanned) and another when I was 31 (planned). My children didn’t disrupt my career goals, but changed them for sure. 

I have a 4 year bachelors degree prior to my pregnacy and actaully I ended up getting my Masters during my pregnacy and maternity leave. Getting my graduate degree really changed my career oppourtunities to work in a more family friendly enviroment. I recently got an ongoing (hence permanent) faculty position at a polyech school allowing me to teach a variety of subjects and have flexible hours that include working from home.

You can have a career trajectory and plan, but I’ll be honest that 9/10 times having children will drastically change you. many of my friends have left good paying jobs bc of bad hours/stress and wanting to be there more for their kids. 

Post # 14
Member
3547 posts
Sugar bee

• How old were you/will you be when you have children? • I was 22 when I had my daughter (21 when I got pregnant) planned on having my children at 26 and my husband would have been 34.

• How did/will having a child impact your career goals? • Having my daughter as young as I did is preventing me from going to graduate school, can’t afford it. On top of daycare, and just child expenses.

• Did/are you planning children around your career goals? • I am working at a university and I have a great job, but I can’t move forward with my job. I will keep this job until I’m more stable with her, and my husband finds his dream job. I wish to be a writer so I want a job that pays the bills but allows for me to write.

• Do you wish you had children at a different point in your career? (i.e., wish you were younger/older) • No, despite having my daughter so much younger than planned, I wouldn’t change a thing and neither would my husband, we are so glad we have her at a younger age. Because we’re not sure we want another child, so having her makes us glad we had her much sooner than planned.

Post # 15
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

How old were you/will you be when you have children?

Well, we have talked about TTC for the first time this cycle, so assuming its not a long process 26

 

How did/will having a child impact your career goals?

It won’t, we’re trying to plan the child bearing around having children. I’m assuming as the child(ren) get older my priorities will change (wanting to live in family-friendly neighbourhoods/good school districts, working humane hours to make it to sports events etc…) 

Did/are you planing children around your career goals?

Yup, and then it dawned on me… the whole reason i’m doing this whole medical school thing is to provide a good life for my family and enjoy my life…. what good is it if by the time we’re “ready” to have kids, it’s too late! I don’t want my WHOLE life to be my career. I’ve always wanted to be a mommy! I’ve seen way too many MD’s wait until after medschool, then after residency, then after they get their practice set up, then they want to build up their resume, and by the time their comfortable they’re (nearly) at menopause and they can’t conceive… I don’t want this to happen. There will ALWAYS be excuses to not have kids at any particular time… 

Do you wish you had children at a different point in your career? (i.e., wish you were younger/older) 

I think 26 is a good age, i don’t want to be “that” old mom… I want to enjoy my kids, and maybe even grandkids for as long as possible!

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